led him onto her balcony, grateful for the spectacular pink sky that surpassed any need for small talk. Watching in amicable silence as the sun dipped lower, listening to the raucous laughter of some teenagers partying on the beach, sipping on her wine, feeling the warmth of the liquid spreading through her, the exquisite shyness of having him so near finally abated enough to allow her to steal a glimpse of his haughty profile.
‘It is very beautiful,’ Ciro said, staring out into the distance. And Harriet murmured her agreement, only she wasn’t talking about the sunset. ‘Sydney really is very beautiful.’
‘It is,’ Harriet agreed, because with the stars so low you could almost touch them, with the sound of laughter and scents of garlic and herbs winging their way up from the bars and cafés along the foreshore, it would, quite simply, be impossible not to. ‘I didn’t think so at first, though,’ Harriet admitted. ‘I wasn’t looking forward to moving here at all.’
‘How long have you been here?’
‘Six months.’ She took a sip of her wine before continuing. ‘Six months has been about par for the course for the last few years. Every time I started to feel at home, every time I made a few friends, another role would come up, the next big thing Drew simply had to chase.’ Realising she was running the risk of sounding as if she felt sorry for herself, Harriet adopted a more positive note to her voice. ‘It worked, though. I mean, he started off in Perth with mainly walk-on non-talking parts and the occasional advert, then he took a part in Queensland on one of the local children’s shows as co-presenter, which got him noticed.’
‘Where to then?’
‘Melbourne. He got a fairly big part in a soap, and from there he was invited to play the roles he’s doing now, but it meant another move.’
‘And how did you feel about all these moves?’ Ciro asked.
Harriet gave a tight shrug. ‘Nursing’s very portable.’
‘I know that,’ Ciro said patiently, ‘but how did you feel about constantly moving?’
‘Exhausted,’ Harriet admitted. ‘Perhaps the most stupid part of the whole fiasco is that finally we seemed settled, geographically of course. Drew’s career was really taking off. For the first time in our marriage suddenly we weren’t dependent on my wage. I was even thinking about…’ She didn’t finish, shaking her head in the darkness, determined not to get maudlin, determined not to dwell on the could-have-beens that simply weren’t.
But Ciro wasn’t about to be fobbed off.
‘What were you thinking about doing?’
‘It doesn’t matter now,’ Harriet started, but she realised there was nothing maudlin about what she was thinking—in fact, it didn’t even involve Drew. And there was something infinitely patient about Ciro, something so refreshingly open and direct about him that somehow, and not for the first time, she found herself opening up.
‘You know how I told you I spent some time on an adolescent psychiatric unit? Well, it really had a huge impact on me.’
‘Were you thinking of doing psychiatric nursing?’
Harriet shook her head, blushing at her own presumption as she voiced her dreams, wondering what a very senior doctor’s take would be on them. ‘I wanted to study psychology, maybe one day specialise in people like Alyssa.’
And he didn’t give a patronising smile, or stare at her as if she were having some sort of manic delusion. He just gave a thoughtful nod. ‘You did very well with her—with her mother, too.’
‘That’s the part that interests me,’ Harriet responded eagerly. ‘The whole family dynamics, the bigger picture, not just what happened to, say, Alyssa, but what happened to her mother. Why her mother is so compelled…’ Her voice trailed off. She was embarrassed by her own enthusiasm but Ciro didn’t seem to mind a bit.
‘Alyssa spoke with me about you. She said you were very kind to her when she was on EHU.’
‘You’ve been to see her?’
‘A couple of times.’ Ciro nodded. ‘Though I’ll probably leave it for a couple of weeks. I don’t want her getting too dependent. You have to be very careful…’ It was Ciro’s voice trailing off now, Ciro giving a tight shrug, clearly trying to end the conversation.
‘You seem to know a lot about it,’ Harriet observed, her eyes narrowing slightly as she watched his reaction. ‘More than most emergency doctors, perhaps?’
Almost reluctantly he nodded.
‘My twin sister, Nikki—’
‘You’re a twin!’
‘Yes, and we are very close. But Nikki suffers from an eating disorder. I have been through many hospital admissions with Nikki, so I know how hard the first few days can be. That is why I warned Alyssa that it might be exceptionally difficult for her on EHU. Staff on a general ward, no matter how good their intentions, just don’t understand that the entire body image and emotional thought processes of people with eating disorders are chronically distorted—that it’s about so much more than food.’
‘It must be hard for you,’ Harriet observed, ‘seeing someone you love so much suffering.’ But Ciro shook his head.
‘If it’s been hard for me then it’s been unbearable for Nikki. She is doing so well now, has fought her way back, but it isn’t something that can be cured as such. Every day is a fresh challenge. She has to be constantly vigilant, to recognise when old habits start creeping in…’ He gave a small smile, but it was loaded with pain. ‘But you already know this, don’t you?’
‘I know a bit,’ Harriet admitted. ‘I’d like to know more.’
‘You’d be very good.’
‘Would have been very good,’ Harriet corrected. ‘I was accepted to study psychology at uni a few years ago, but at the time we couldn’t afford it.’ This time Ciro did raise his eyebrows. ‘OK, Drew wasn’t getting much work and we really needed a full-time wage. But when we moved here and his work was more secure…’ She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘So what has changed?’ Ciro asked. ‘You can’t deny this is a new chapter in your life. Why not go the whole way and do something that you really want to?’
‘I might,’ Harriet said tightly. ‘Just not yet.’
But from his frown, Harriet realised he didn’t understand, just didn’t get the emotional war zone her life had been for so long now, still would be for a while yet, at least until her divorce came through. He couldn’t comprehend the battering her confidence had taken over and over, that apart from nursing every facet of her life had changed.
‘I want some peace,’ Harriet said finally. ‘I’m tired of unpacking boxes only to pack them up again a few months later, tired of being interviewed for a job I’ve been doing for years and starting over in yet another hospital, tired of having my mail redirected, or when the car needs a service having to find yet another new garage…’ Now she was starting to sound sorry for herself so she lightened it with a very bright smile. ‘I like Sydney,’ Harriet said firmly. ‘I love the fact that the beaches are just a stone’s throw from the city, love the ferries leaving the
