you’ll understand real well why I couldn’t hang around here those years ago and take yours without raisin’ a word of protest,” he replied with that maddening calm.
No way would she let him turn the fault back on her!
Yet Addie closed her eyes against the tide of emotion that rose in her at his words, for even now the memory of that night could make her weep with unconditional sympathy. She’d never forget Deke’s face, streaked with sweat and soot, as he stared at the smoldering wreckage containing his father’s remains, in his hand the empty bottle of Jim Beam that moments before Mick Brody had shoved at him in disgust. Still filled with the power of the bond she and Deke had just forged between them, Addie had felt the last particle of her heart that hadn’t already been his go out to him.
Yet, then came the other memory, just as heart-wrenching, of when she’d laid her hand upon Deke’s arm in silent comfort, and he’d bent upon her that sightless gaze—in which she’d seen the kind of devastation she could only imagine—before turning away from her, shutting her out like the door of a vault slamming shut.
Addie pressed the back of one hand against her lips. Suddenly, it all seemed too much to handle. She didn’t care that the damp had crept through her clothing to her skin, had invaded her very bones. Didn’t care that in her fervor she’d gotten a swipe of mud on her skirt from her shoes, still clutched in her hands. Didn’t care that she looked like anything but a woman on her way to pick out her wedding ring with the man who would place it on her finger and give her the security, if not the all-encompassing emotional connection, that she so craved.
It was a choice she made gladly, because she’d had the other—and while it had been as wild and exhilarating as a Texas thunderstorm sweeping through her heart, it had left just as quickly, with nothing for her to do but pick up the pieces alone.
Yes, she must remember: such emotion wasn’t worth the heartache.
Addie opened her eyes and gazed at the man who’d caused that heartache. “Maybe you did think you were doing what was best for me by leaving, Deke. And maybe you’re hoping that by coming back you can make up for…oh, for a lot of things. Like helpin’ out the Bar G to make up for your daddy’s accident. The problem is, there’re some things you can’t make up for. Because the thing I can’t forgive you for is that you never let me decide what was best for me. You took that choice with you when you went away. And when you did, you took away Jace’s choice, too.”
Addie spread her arms in front of her in a simple gesture. “This time I have a choice, and I mean to use it by doing what’s best not only for me, but for my son.”
Gripping her shoes in her hands, she pointed them both straight at her heart. “Yes, my son, Deke. I will not let you turn Jace’s world on end.”
She almost believed he hadn’t heard her, he seemed so caught up in his thoughts, those amber-green eyes boring into her, yet looking at a place only he could see. When their focus clouded, then came back to her, the expression in them was haunted.
“I’ve got no intention of upsetting Jace,” he finally said. “But I’m not leavin’, either.”
She saw he was dead serious. Deke Larrabie, the man who’d left her then so easily, now wouldn’t budge an inch. She’d find the irony amusing if it didn’t make her want to cry.
Because she saw, too, how very, very difficult it was for him to stay.
“Look, Deke,” she said, trying one more time. “If you’re truly serious about wanting to make up for some of the pain you’ve caused us, then leave.”
The shiny red dually pulled up a few yards behind Deke. “Now. Please.” She couldn’t keep the urgency from her voice.
“No, Addie.” Shaded by the brim of his hat, his face looked carved in stone. Yet set within the stone, those eyes glittered like gems. “This time, I’ve got a choice, too—and I’m choosing to stay.”
“Then, I can’t let you reveal who you are to Jace, Deke,” Addie said fiercely. “I can’t let you do him that way! Promise me right here, right now, that you won’t, not without my say-so. You owe me that much.”
He looked about to argue, and her heart stopped. Then he gave a nod, making the promise. “I won’t tell him.”
Deke seemed to realize at the exact moment she did, what had just transpired: Once again, he’d given her his word. And once again, she would have to give him her trust.
And where was the choice in that? she almost asked him but didn’t. There was no time, for just then the door of the truck opened and out stepped Connor Brody—the man who would be her husband.
And Jace’s dad.
Deke turned at the sound of a vehicle door slamming to see a man in a Western-cut sport coat, stand-up stiff blue jeans and spit-shined ostrich-skinned boots. When he doffed his white Stetson, the sunlight glanced off the shine on his dark hair and clean-shaven face, while at the same time carving out the Clint Black-deep dimple in his cheek.
There was something familiar-looking about the guy, but Deke couldn’t put a finger on it.
“Mornin’, darlin’,” he said, sparing not a glance toward Deke, the smile on his face all for Addie.
Deke’s antennae sprung to full alert. He shifted an assessing eye toward Addie, who was pushing her hair back from her suddenly flushed face. What was going on here?
“Mornin’,” she answered. Obviously not wanting to make introductions, she went on briskly. “I’m all set to go.”
The man glanced toward the house. “What about Jace? Isn’t he—”
“No! No, he’s not fit company this morning.”
She wouldn’t look at Deke, which made him even more suspicious. Who was this city slicker to Jace, anyway?
He sure looked disappointed, some aspect in his downcast face making Deke wonder again where he’d seen him before.
“Well, shoot. He ought to be with us, y’know, when we make our decision, if we’re going to start out like a real fam—”
“No!” Addie interrupted again. “Believe me, we’re better off lettin’ him get out whatever burr’s under his saddle on his own. So! We’d better get on the road. Don’t want to be late for our appointment.”
It was pretty apparent to Deke that Addie wanted to be shed of him as quickly as possible. Hopping from one foot to the other, she shoved her toes into her high heels while trying to get past him without so much as a by-your-leave.
The man gave a huff, which distracted Deke again with that sense of familiarity he’d be damned if he could place.
“Well, sure, but how about a hello kiss from my fiancée first?”
That sure enough came through loud and clear. His fiancée?
As luck would have it, Addie’s heel caught in a crack in the plank floor, and she stumbled beside Deke.
He bent down to pull the heel out, just as Addie stooped to do the same, his gaze seeking hers, hoping he was wrong.
Her
