expression of stunned hurt tore a patch of anger through Addie a mile wide—yet failed to entirely uproot her own culpability.
Even though Connor and his father were very different, she could see why Deke would take particular issue with the fact that she’d have anything to do with Mick Brody’s family, considering Mick’s scathing condemnation of Deke and his father the night D.K. Larrabie died.
Of course, everyone also knew Mick had never gotten over it when D.K. ran off with his intended bride years before. Not many county folk had blamed Mick for getting a bit of his own back, even if it couldn’t have been done at a crueler time.
But what better reason was there to bury such ancient history for good! Connor wasn’t to blame for his father’s actions any more than Deke was for D.K.’s.
She noticed Connor concentrating on straightening the silver conchos on his braided leather hatband in the removed manner she’d come to recognize as his way of closing off his doubts about her feelings for him—and Jace’s objections to him as his new father.
Blast it! She should have gone with her first impulse and hustled Connor away from the Bar G so she could make her explanations to him in her own way and time. But no, she’d had to provoke Deke, practically waving a red flag in front of him.
It had cost her, too, with that inadvertent contact between them that had shocked her in its intensity. And rekindled feelings in her she’d thought herself well shed of.
But it’d always been that way between them as they egged each other on, almost dare-like. On the upside, they had spurred each other forward to chart new territory, develop new skills and face down fears. On the downside, they’d urged each other on to greater and greater heights of expressing the kind of passion that was born out of a pair of natures that had never known defeat in their young lives, and so had no reason for caution.
No, Addie was forced to admit, Deke was not to blame for a lot of things, including her own reckless surrender to him.
“You could have told me, Addie,” Connor said quietly, bringing her out of her thoughts. “That you’d hired Deke Larrabie to take over the work we were going to do together on the Bar G.” He lifted his head and shot Deke a challenging glance. “And to take over the job of Jace’s father in place of me.”
“Connor.” Addie reached for his hand, giving him her most sincere look. “First of all, Deke showin’ up this morning was as big a surprise to me as it was to you—and Jace. And second, nothing’s changed of our plans.” She squeezed his fingers. “Think about it a minute. You know one of the things that’s been so important to me is that we get the Bar G’s future taken care of while gettin’ you settled in running the Tanglewood after we’re married. Deke’s being hired to do some troubleshooting? Well, that’s a temporary thing, as far as I’m concerned.”
She couldn’t even think of glancing at Deke, she was so put out with him. Connor didn’t deserve this. So theirs was no great love affair. She was very fond of him. And sure, he might lack in ranching skills, but he was steady and willing to do what it took to succeed—and she truly believed that with time Jace would come around to appreciating that. She and Connor had even discussed giving her son time to get used to him and not pushing Connor in the role of father, given the issues that had come up about Jace’s real daddy.
Which brought her back to her own responsibility in this morning’s little drama.
“As for Deke being Jace’s father, well, I know we’ve never really talked about it, since it’s pretty much common knowledge around here, except to Jace—” Addie took a deep breath and admitted frankly, “and Deke. He only just today learned himself that he was a daddy.”
Connor let go of her hand and leaned back on the front fender of the pickup truck, now clearly confused—and, she could see, completely disillusioned.
She guessed if anyone here had a right to be, he did.
A sparrow landed in a nearby puddle and made a production out of taking a bath. The rain had finally let up, and the sun beat down on the three of them as they stood in a silent triangle.
Addie lifted her hand, rubbing her forehead. She knew that further explanation was needed, just as she knew that the damage done to everyone involved was not going to be easily repaired. It felt, however, as if the burden of making that effort rested primarily on her—as had the past six years during which she’d struggled to raise a child, look after a failing parent, and keep the family business profitable.
What other choice did she have, though?
With longing, she turned her gaze to her mother’s gazebo. She hadn’t taken advantage in a long while of the steadying, perspective-building influence this special place had always provided her. She was simply too busy, with a million things to get done, and a million more to think about doing.
Oh, Mama, how I miss you!
Not for the first time, Addie wished for someone to turn to who might provide her with support. Not necessarily someone to bail her out, nor even someone to lean on. Just someone to…be there—to share the burden.
Addie slowly became aware of Deke studying her with that eagle-sharp gaze of his. Dropping her hand, she didn’t bother to hide from him every bit of her world-weariness and discouragement.
And so she was surprised when he took a step forward, his own expression no longer challenging but decisive.
“Look, Brody, I’m as much in the dark as Addie about why Jud never mentioned to her about hiring me back on the Bar G,” he said. “Maybe he’s thinkin’ Addie could use a little help herself—what with her marrying and moving and all—with keeping the Bar G going. Or maybe he just thought that bringin’ a fresh pair of eyes to the ranch might be good for it, as it nearly always is in any business. You can be sure I intend to ask Jud what his plans are, first opportunity I get, and I’d recommend you and Addie do the same.”
Tipping his hat back a notch, he took an appraising look around the ranch yard and beyond. “I’m willin’ to evaluate the operation and give my feedback for how the ranch might be run more efficiently and profitably, whether I’ll be involved in that effort or not. That’s for y’all to decide.”
His gaze came back around to them, and Addie realized she was being treated to yet another side of Deke Larrabie she’d never seen before. “I will say in Jud’s defense that whatever his plans, you can rest assured he hired the right man to do the job. In the past five years I’ve revamped operations on ranches twice the size of the Bar G, so that now they’re well into the black.”
Connor straightened in surprise. “Well, thanks, Deke. That’s sure big of you—you know, considerin’.”
“No thanks needed,” Deke said tersely. “It’s my job.”
Then he squared off in front of both Connor and her, but Addie knew Deke’s message was for her alone. “As for bein’ Jace’s daddy, you can be sure I’m as prepared to handle that responsibility, too. I know you’ve made some plans of your own along those lines, but I’m here to tell you that I expect you to revise them to include me.”
His face was a study in fierce determination, and its aspect was so undiluted Deke Larrabie that it caused a frisson of fear to sizzle up her spine, even before he said, “Or believe me, I’ll take without askin’ what’s rightfully mine.”
He gave the brim
