first told her that Max had suddenly discovered he was a father. She might as well get it out in the open and be done with it. ‘It’s not like you’ve exactly proved to be the commitment type in the past, is it? One girlfriend after the next, and none of them lasting beyond their first hint that they’d like something more from you than sex and a rapid farewell. It’s no wonder you weren’t told you were a father, even if I am surprised that you were careless about something like that.’ She prodded him with her finger again. ‘Do you even want them, Max? You certainly don’t act like it.’
As the words tumbled out, she realised she had gone too far and wished she could take them back. Max’s face slowly blanked of all expression, until only a stark, hard-edged mask remained.
‘I think it’s time I put a stop to this,’ he said in a voice that was chilling in its calmness. His hand snaked out and wrapped around her arm. ‘Before I lose my temper. As for my sex life, it’s no business of yours.’
‘Am I supposed to be scared?’ She fell back on bravado and hoped it would work.
Max simply glared at her. ‘That might be a good idea.’
‘Well, I’m not scared. Far from it.’ She tugged at her arm and he let it go.
Phoebe couldn’t let the conversation go, though. She ploughed on, well aware that she was in dangerous territory, but she needed to know this. ‘Do you deny that you’re just trying to push your sons off on to a nanny so you can ignore them? You can’t just bury yourself in work, in your old way of life, and pretend everything else doesn’t exist.’
For a moment he didn’t speak. When he did, his words were cold, his eyes hard and unyielding. ‘I will make the choices for my sons that I believe are in their best interests and that, Phoebe, is not something I will justify to you or negotiate about.’
Although he still looked angry, Phoebe also got the impression she had hurt him. Regret unfurled inside her. ‘Max.’ She stretched out a hand.
He ignored it and stepped back, gesturing towards the back of the car. ‘My sons are getting restless. Maybe you should get them out of the car, if you’re quite finished with this little discussion.’
‘What about you?’ She bit her lip. ‘What are you going to do now?’
‘I’m going inside to phone around for a new nanny. What else?’
The dart found its mark, although she tried hard not to show it. She didn’t want to go. Stupid, wasn’t it, to want to hang around here? All that was likely to happen if she did was that she would get too attached to Max’s sons and be upset when she had to leave them.
Phoebe tried, but sometimes her overactive mothering instinct didn’t exactly stay under control as well as she wanted it to. Empty womb syndrome, she thought, trying to be cynical and failing utterly.
She refused to admit that she might not want to leave Max either.
‘Whatever you feel is best, Max.’ She lifted one shoulder and let it drop. ‘The only thing I care about is that your boys are in the best hands.’ A hint of steel crept into her voice. ‘And that is something that I will make absolutely sure of, no matter what.’
He shook his head. ‘Do I really need to remind you that you don’t even have a say in this?’
Indeed, she didn’t have a say. They weren’t her sons. She had no hold on them whatsoever, despite the fact that they had crept into a corner of her heart already, just by being their cute, irascible selves.
Phoebe had no business feeling attached to Max, either, even if it was only physical attraction. And it was only that, she assured herself. Which was bad enough.
‘You can say what you want.’ She returned him stare for stare, determined that he wouldn’t guess he had hit a raw patch with that last question. ‘It won’t change my attitude one iota.’
‘Won’t it? We’ll see about that.’ Max turned on his heel and walked away.
CHAPTER THREE
‘FINE. Let Max get his new nanny and bring her back here and send me packing. As if I care about it.’ Phoebe tossed the damp towel in the hamper, hitched her old nightshirt back on to her shoulder where it had slipped down, and stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway.
Max had been gone all day. He had stalked to his study after their altercation, then left a while later, without so much as a by your leave and looking grim enough that she had decided to keep out of his way.
He hadn’t returned since and, even as Phoebe thought about this, irritation flared afresh.
She paused to peek into the boys’ room and nodded with satisfaction when she saw that both Jake and Josh were still soundly asleep. That little tug thing happened in her heart again, and she sighed. The boys had been a gift to her for such a short time.
‘I’ll get over it.’ But she didn’t feel particularly reconciled. In fact, the more she thought about this whole day, and the previous evening, too, the angrier she became all over again.
‘The man doesn’t want me here,’ she muttered, stalking determinedly away from the bedroom with the two sleeping forms in it. ‘He doesn’t trust me to do a good job, yet he leaves me alone with his sons all day and doesn’t even tell me where he’s going. As if I wouldn’t start to fall for them when he leaves the field clear for me like that.’
It was Max’s fault that she was struggling not to care. All his! Phoebe hurried on towards the kitchen and the promise of a cup of soothing tea before she turned in to bed. Today would doubtless be her last in the role of nanny here. After that, all these inner turmoils would be a moot point, anyway.
A light shone at the end of the kitchen. Max sat at the table, eating the meal she had set aside for him and poring over a batch of documents. He must have got back while she’d been showering.
‘Where’s the new nanny? I thought you’d have brought her with you.’ Phoebe paused in the doorway, her bare feet braced on the vinyl flooring. The room was cool, the large windows over the sink reflecting the inky blackness outside.
Max wasn’t quite as cool. His expression reflected both weariness and heat. The latter set her senses on alert, and she pulled an irritated face at herself. Not now, okay? As if she didn’t have enough on her mind.
She couldn’t help thinking that Max was affected too, though, which only made it tougher for her to distance herself from her reactions to him. It amazed her that Max could want her, even on the most basic of levels. Things had changed. She didn’t quite know why, but something told her there would never be any going back to the way they used to be.
What did that leave, though? She certainly wasn’t interested in becoming one of his many fly-by-night involvements. Fortunately, she could control these random reactions to him. Provided she kept her distance, she was under no threat.
‘Thanks for leaving me a meal.’ Max glanced back down at his plate, then up again. ‘I didn’t expect you to go to any trouble.’
‘Believe it or not, I can be quite organised when I try.’ Phoebe relaxed somewhat, confident in her ability to hold her foolish reactions to him at bay. ‘I didn’t actually
