to rely on but you, which develops stamina. And courage. Lots of courage.”
“If it’s so good,” Matt asked, “why are you giving it up?” He had qualms about taking over a GP practice, even if only for a little while because being back home came with all kinds of bad memories, and he was afraid those might surface at the wrong times and prevent him from doing his best. Plus, he wasn’t a GP. That was another big drawback. In fact, the only good thing was that it would keep him busy, and he needed that. Lucas was a great kid, but spending every minute of every day together wasn’t good for either of them. They both needed some separation from time to time.
“I’ve been doing it for fifty years, as you know, since I took care of you when you were little. And these old bones aren’t rugged enough anymore. Also, I’ve got grandkids who don’t even know me. So it’s time for me to move on, to rest the weary bones and play with the grandkids.”
“You do realize I’m only going to be a temp here. Once the situation with Lucas gets straightened out, I have to report back to duty. They’ve given me two months, which is the time I’ve accrued for regular leave. So you’ll still have to keep looking for someone to buy you out.”
“Or close the practice for good if I can’t.” Dr. Granger held out his hands. They were knotted with arthritis. “These hands can’t do the job anymore, Matt, or I would carry on. I wouldn’t want to see this place go without a doctor, but most of the young docs coming out of medical school want something better than what I’ve got to offer, and the older docs who have had something better now want something simpler. Practicing in Forgeburn doesn’t just take love for the work, it takes love for the work here.”
That would never happen. Once child services had a good placement for Lucas, he’d be gone. Being here was only a matter of circumstances, and Matt wasn’t staying because he wanted to. He was staying for Lucas. “So, when do you want me to start?”
“Are you sure about this, Matt? Do you really want to do this?”
“No. But, I’m not staying here for me. The army has me and I’ll go back as soon as I can.”
“And that little one you’re looking after?”
“Lucas is a good kid, and I’m going to make sure I’ve found the best situation for him before I leave. If that means staying here for longer than I’d wanted, that’s what I’ll do because I don’t want him growing up the way I did. You know how it was with Janice and me, Doc—and no kid deserves that.”
“But you came through it, Matt, and look at you now.”
Yes, just look at him. The man who knew nothing about kids as temporary guardian of a child he couldn’t raise. Kids needed much more than anything he had to offer. In fact, as it stood, Matt had nothing to offer whatsoever. His life in the army didn’t mix with domesticity in any form. “But my sister didn’t, which is why I have to do what I’m doing. I owe it to her to do this for Lucas.” Even though he was sure Janice’s intention had been for him to keep the boy. But that wouldn’t work out.
“Well, OK, then. How about starting right now? Oh, and talk to Betty Nelson about watching Lucas. She’s a retired teacher. Really good with little ones. I couldn’t recommend anyone better than her.”
“I’ll do that,” Matt said, thinking back to his grade-school days. Betty Nelson had been his teacher for a year. She’d paid for his lunch, and Janice’s, when he hadn’t had money—which had been pretty much every day. And she’d made sure that he’d had his school supplies even though his dad had refused to pay for them. She’d be a perfect babysitter for Lucas, and Matt was keeping his fingers crossed she would do that. “I’ll definitely talk to her.”
So now this was where he put on his stethoscope and stepped into a completely different life. For a little while. That’s what he’d keep telling himself—for a little while.
But what if he couldn’t find a good situation for Lucas? Could he walk away from him knowing he was leaving Lucas where he, himself, had been left so many times during his own childhood?
No, he didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to think into the future. Reality, here and now, was good enough. Always had been because it’s all he’d ever been able to count on. Getting by, moment to moment.
Sighing, Matt held out his hand for the keys to the clinic. This was for Janice, he reminded himself. For Janice and Lucas. It didn’t make things easier, but it made him feel better. It’s what he had to do—that’s the thought that ran through his mind for the next few hours as he prepared himself mentally to be part of Forgeburn again.
The clinic was small, just as he remembered it. One underwhelming exam room with basic outdated equipment, a minor procedures room, a shared public and staff bathroom, a small reception area and waiting room, which seated only six people, and a tiny, knee-hole office. But it did have a nice storage room attached to his office, larger than he would have expected, with a window at the rear of it overlooking a rock formation in the distance.
A playroom for Lucas when Betty Nelson couldn’t watch him? Switch to a Dutch door for security, add carpeting—it was a thought. One that didn’t go away as he walked around the outside of the small white cement building that stood alone in the middle of a cracked asphalt parking lot, surrounded by sand, dirt and a lot of cacti.
The next closest structure, a small, nineteen-sixties-style hotel was, with a lot of squinting, within eyesight. There really was no upside to the medical office, nothing nice or pretty or comforting, but the house he’d also be getting as part of the deal was definitely an upside. Modestly large, fairly new, with a nice pool and beautiful canyon view. A squared-off adobe-style with an open floor plan, large kitchen—he used to love to cook—and a casita with in-home or private access. Not that he needed a casita, since he didn’t anticipate anyone ever coming to visit him. But at least it gave him an option.
* * *
“This is where we’ll be staying,” he said to Lucas the next day as they explored the outside area together, to make sure the pool was completely secured and safe, grateful Doc Granger’s one indulgence in life had been his house. It would be a good place for Lucas. Comfortable. Safe. “How about we go take a look?” He’d wanted to carry Lucas, but Lucas was often resistant to that, unless he was tired. A child with determination, Matt thought.
Lucas’s reaction was to turn his back to Matt and stare at a little brown and blue skink darting into a rock garden at the edge of the patio. It was trying to get away from prying eyes. Sort of what Matt felt like doing, to be honest. “Well, if you’re not interested in looking around today, we’ll be back tomorrow when we move in. Plenty of time for exploring then.”
Especially since Doc Granger had already vacated the place. Except for the furniture, which was staying with the house, all the personal touches were gone. And Matt had an idea Doc Granger was, right now, playing with grandkids. Which meant Matt was totally on his own here. It wasn’t an unsettling thought, but it wasn’t a comforting one either, since he knew so little about his new responsibilities. Well, live and learn. He’d make the best of it, like he was making the best of being a temporary dad.
“You ready to leave?” he finally asked Lucas, who’d gone over to the rocks, looking for the skink. Of course, Lucas didn’t answer. Neither did he take Matt’s hand when Matt extended it to him. Instead, he took an extra-firm hold on the ratty old blanket he carried with him everywhere, and trailed along next to Matt. Never too close, but never too far.
There
