Patricia’s statement had been innocent enough, but brought still more bad memories of the halfway house where Pandora had spent the past couple years. It had sure beaten living on the streets, but in some ways it had been harder. So many people and rules. So many reminders of how close she’d come to losing it all.
Reminding herself those days were finally behind her, Pandora forced a smile. “How long have you and Heath been together?”
“Two excruciatingly long years.” Cradling Quinn, her smile turned wistful. “It’s hard enough being with a SEAL—you never know when they’re coming or going. Only the wives have any glimmer of real knowledge as to what’s going on. We lowly girlfriends never know anything.”
“Oh—I’m not Calder’s girlfriend,” Pandora said quickly. “Just Quinn’s nanny.”
“Sorry. I forgot. We don’t see many of those. How long have you been with him?”
Pandora laughed. “Actually, this is only my second night. So far, so good.”
Quinn started to fuss.
“Spoke too soon?” Pandora didn’t mind when Patricia returned Quinn to her waiting arms. She’d only been with the infant a short while, but she’d already learned to decipher his basic cries. Hunger. Dirty diaper. Sleepy. Babies were relatively simple to figure out.
Quinn’s father, on the other hand...
In the setting sun’s orange glow, Pandora made the mistake of looking up to find Calder in all his bare-chested glory rising up to spike the ball. He struck her as powerful and in control—not at all the same man she’d encountered when Quinn had been choking. Assuming Calder worked with the same efficiency in his capacity as a SEAL as he did on the volleyball court, what did that say about his parenting skills? The fact that the only time he appeared truly happy and at peace was when he wasn’t caring for his son.
Not that Pandora was judging. Just curious to discover more about him.
Calder’s team won, but by the time they’d defended their victory by besting their challengers in a two-out-of-three series, the sunset’s glow had long since faded to dark.
Quinn slept soundly against her, and since Patricia and her soon-to-be fiancé had skipped out a while back, Pandora had spent the past hour staring out at the dark surf. She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in small-town Virginia, so her only memories of visiting the beach were imagined. Fourth of Julys she’d dreamed of watching fireworks. Running barefoot in the sand with a whole pack of sparklers all for herself. Birthdays she’d envisioned with friends splashing with her in the surf and building sand castles. In her rich fantasy life, she’d even had mermaid-themed cupcakes and balloons.
Back to reality, it was hard to believe she’d finally met her lifelong dream of seeing the Atlantic. The faint, briny-scented breeze and the rhythmic crashing of the waves proved hypnotic, making her think of a life that might’ve been. Regret upon regret for not at least giving her own daughter the happiness she deserved.
“Ready?” Calder asked beside her, jolting her to the present.
“Ah, sure.” It took her a few seconds to regain her composure. But then her boss took Quinn, inadvertently brushing her breasts in the trade-off. Only, the invasion of her personal space didn’t feel like an invasion at all. More like the kind of natural thing that happens between a man and woman sharing a relationship and raising a child.
But they didn’t share any of that. For all practical purposes, they were strangers.
“Sorry.” He held out his hand to help her to her feet.
“It’s okay.” She accepted his help, but soon regretted the decision. When their fingers touched, the usual sparks were there tenfold, making her unsure about her next move. Had he felt it, too?
If so, he showed no indication. All polite business, he fastened Quinn into his carrier, then hefted the baby and diaper bag. “That everything?”
“Uh-huh.” Except for the irrational part of her wondering what it would be like to have a real connection with a man as decent as Calder.
* * *
“THIS WAS GOOD.” Over the years, Calder had had many women in his passenger seat, but none who set him on edge quite like Pandora. Why, he didn’t know, but he took her prim posture and pressed-lip silence to mean he’d done something wrong. Knowing full well he hadn’t and was just being paranoid, he decided to make a game out of coaxing the woman to speak. “You and Quinn have fun?”
“We did. The beach is always a treat.”
“Yeah?” He glanced her way to find her fogging her glasses, then wiping them on a tissue she’d drawn from her purse. “What was your favorite thing about spending time at the shore?”
She slowly exhaled. “I liked the smell. The waves sounded just like I’ve always imagined.”
“Wait.” Stopped at a red light, he turned to her. “You mean to tell me tonight was your first trek to the beach?”
“Embarrassing, right?”
After checking the rearview mirror to ensure there were no other cars around, Calder made a U-turn.
“What’re you doing?”
“Well, hell, woman.” He shot her a sideways grin. “You’re a bona fide Atlantic virgin—an elusive and mystical creature, to be sure.”
“Sure you weren’t spiking your cola?”
“Nope.” He made a left, aiming the SUV back to where they’d just come from. “We’re on a mission.”
“To do what?”
“Something we would’ve done earlier if I’d known what a momentous occasion this was. We need to get those toes of yours in the water.”
“Calder, you’re being silly.” She glanced to the backseat. “It’s already late and Quinn’s covered in sand. He’ll need a quick bath before bed and I’ll need to clean his carrier.”
“So? It’s not like you have to be at a desk bright and early.”
“But you no doubt do.”
“Haven’t you learned it’s impolite to argue with your boss?”
He took her shy smile to mean he’d broken at least a small part of her reserve. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but are you mentally stable enough to protect our country?”
For a split second, he thought she was serious, but then he caught her wink and burst out laughing. “You almost had me.”
“You’ve got to admit this whole notion of sticking my toes in the water sounds a bit off the deep end.”
Now he winked. “I’m not suggesting you go deep, Ms. Moore. Merely dip your toes in the shallow end. It’s a serious rite of passage.”
“It’s a rite of passage that can wait. Quinn’s comfort and needs come first.”
