having a look for herself, she said, “You’ve got me there.” In the glow of the dash lights, her expression morphed from doubt to wary acceptance to anticipation. “But is this really prudent?”
He laughed. “Does it matter? Come on.” He almost held out his hand to her, but then thought better of it. He wanted to have a little fun, but not present the image of being interested in that way. “Last one in is a rotten egg!”
“Who’s getting Quinn?”
“Me, so you’d better hustle.”
Pandora kicked off her sandals and ran and ran, laughing until she reached the shore. The water was cold but refreshing and unexpected and hit her as an affirmation her life was finally on the right track. Granted, her current actions may not be dignified, but for at least a few minutes that was okay. She could let her guard down a smidge—just not too much.
Had she denied herself the beach’s simple pleasures for so long because she hadn’t felt good enough? Like only clean, wholesome people visit such enchanted places?
“How is it?” Calder asked from behind her. Quinn slept cradled against him.
“Wonderful,” she admitted. And honestly, if she hadn’t had to work so hard to earn her way to this spot, this very moment in time, she might not have appreciated it for the miracle it truly was. As soon as she regained custody of Julia, a trip to the beach was in order.
“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said above the surf that pounded louder than it had earlier, “how’s it even possible you’ve lived around here yet have never been to the shore?”
“Just one of those things.” Though her gut told her she could probably trust him with the truth, her head warned the less he knew about her past, the better off they’d both be.
The nighttime breeze had considerably cooled the air.
Pandora said, “We should get back to the car.”
“What’s your hurry?”
“I-it’s cold.” At first, she’d been exhilarated by their fun, but now she was somewhat ashamed. Almost as if being in such a clean, family-friendly place might mark her a fraud. But was she? She’d worked hard to get to the healthy emotional zone in which she now resided. Didn’t that count for something?
She wiped tears from her cheeks, glad for the darkness so Calder wouldn’t see.
“You okay?”
“Sure.” She hoped her exaggerated nod read as convincing.
“It’s all right, you know.”
“Wh-what?”
“If the sight of moonlight on the ocean moves you.” He reached his hand toward her, brushing first one tear-stained cheek, then the other with the pad of his thumb.
His touch affected her far more deeply than it should have. Embarrassed, she looked away. “I’m fine—the wind blew sand in my eyes.”
“Locational hazard....” His soft tone told her he knew she was lying. The fact both mortified her and filled her with hope he’d never guess just how much their shared moment had truly meant. Whatever their future, she’d always associate him with the moment she realized her efforts really were finally making a difference. Soon, she’d not only have her daughter returned, but her dignity.
* * *
MIDWAY THROUGH CHANGING Quinn’s diaper at five-thirty the next morning, Calder was startled by Pandora’s appearance at his side. Apparently she’d felt as awkward about her choice of late-night attire at their last meeting as he had. Not that he hadn’t been appreciative of her miles of creamy skin, but her current chaste, white cotton pj’s were infinitely less seductive.
“What’re you doing up?” he asked. “We were trying to be extra quiet to let you sleep.”
“That’s nice of you,” she said as she passed the wipes, “but my job description is to care for Quinn in order to allow you more rest.”
“I had to be up anyway. Got a text we’re doing early drills.” After wiping down his son, Calder tossed the soiled diaper in the trash, then reached for a fresh one.
“Put cream on his bottom.”
“What cream?”
She handed him a tube. “Last time I changed him, I noticed he looked a little chafed. No biggie. Just something to keep an eye on.”
“Sure.” Calder flipped open the lid. “How much?”
“A dime.”
“Did you grab this stuff at the store?”
“Uh-huh.” She stood near enough for him to feel her heat. Not a good thing, considering he hadn’t been as smart as her and still slept in just boxers. “Want me to finish up with him so you can grab a shower?”
“Trying to get rid of me?” He was only half teasing. Ever since the beach, she’d been quiet. He’d meant for their outing to be fun, but he couldn’t help but wonder what’d brought on her tears. He’d wanted to ask her on the drive home, and again while they’d bathed Quinn, but the timing hadn’t seemed right. Besides, were her tears even his business?
“No.” Her smile seemed genuine. “Just trying to be helpful.”
“Thanks.” The more time he shared with Pandora, the more confused he grew. When it came to the fairer sex, he excelled at the short game. One or two nights—tops. Mornings could be tricky, so he avoided them like brussels sprouts. So here he was on his second morning with the nanny and despite the fact they’d barely even spoken, let alone had sex, he honestly wasn’t sure how many more he could take. Something about her had him all riled up and flustered—in his line of work, never a good thing.
With Quinn tucked back into his snap-bottom T-shirt, Pandora scooped him up and cradled him against her.
His son looked happy, and that fact calmed Calder’s choppy nerves. Truly, he needed to chill. Pandora was the nanny. Nothing more. No need to rely on his usual shtick, or worry about spending too much time with one woman, because she wasn’t his woman. If anything, he should treat her like one of the guys. “Got anything going on this weekend? Thought we might get back to the beach, only this time do it up proper. More volleyball. Soggy sandwiches. It’ll be great.”
“Um...” She looked to the baby, out the window, to the changing table—anywhere but him. “That sounds amazing, but I have plans.”
“Oh?” He’d placed her firmly in the friend zone, so why did he feel shot down? It didn’t happen often, which left him needing answers. Only because he was her employer, no matter how much he wanted to drill her about what she was doing that could be more important than chilling with him and his son—he knew damn well he couldn’t. Shouldn’t. It would be a seriously needy move, and Calder never lacked for female attention.
“Rain check? I’ve never been on a picnic, so...” As her words trailed off, so did her eye contact. Interesting. What would the nanny be doing on Saturday? Or should that what be replaced by
