Even worse would be the shops in Beckett’s Run on Christmas Eve, after everything’s been picked over.”
Never mind that he understood exactly what she was doing. Putting distance between them. Things had been strained ever since that kiss, despite their attempts to keep it casual and pleasant. There was an atmosphere now.
But he wasn’t going to do anything to stop her. She’d brought him up short the other night, asking him what he wanted from her. He didn’t have an answer. He wanted her. He wanted to feel close to her. But beyond that she was absolutely right. She was leaving in a few days. A rough-and-ready tumble in the hay might be on his mind, but it wouldn’t help matters any—not in the long run.
And it was probably better if she was out of his hair for the day. Being so close to her, smelling her shampoo in the moist heat of the bathroom after her shower, the hint of lipstick on the edge of a coffee cup...
Everything about her was driving him crazy. In all the very best and worst ways.
“Drive carefully and enjoy yourself,” he advised, keeping a bland expression on his face.
She looked at him strangely but smiled, shifting her purse over her shoulder. “I will.”
Her boots clicked over the concrete once more and he resumed shoveling.
But damned if he could get her out of his mind, or decide what he was going to do about it.
* * *
Hope headed toward the downtown core of Calgary, hoping to get there early and finish before lunch. There was one place in particular she needed to stop on the way home and it was quite a bit out of the way. She had found the perfect present for Blake. One that he’d never see coming. She couldn’t keep herself from imagining the look on his face when she presented him with bells for his sleigh. It had taken some searching but she’d found them.
And if it looked like he was going to make too much of it, she’d say they were for Cate. It had been the little girl, after all, who had looked up at him with huge, innocent eyes and insisted that the sleigh have a set of bells.
She parked and wrapped her scarf around her neck, enjoying the walk through the bustling streets. It felt familiar, the crush of people going to work, cell phones pressed to ears and random conversations happening all around her. It was vital. It was teeming with life.
Then she thought about standing on the crest of the ridge with Blake, looking out over the mountains. That was vital, too. And awesome. A place where a person could be quiet with their own thoughts.
She stopped at an intersection and waited for the light to change. Frowning, she stared at the flashing orange hand. Had all the noise of her life kept her from thinking too much?
The light changed and she hotfooted it across the street surrounded by men and women, all headed to their destinations. Where was she headed? She hardly knew anymore. But she rather suspected that her old way of living wasn’t going to fit quite the same way again. And where did that leave her?
Stephen Avenue Walk was awash in holiday spirit. Banners hung from old-fashioned-looking light posts, and above her head Christmas lights were strung across the walk. No vehicles were permitted on the street so pedestrians mingled freely. In front of one store she marveled at an intricately carved ice sculpture of a Christmas tree and presents. Each storefront was draped in ribbons and bows and sparkled with red and green and gold. She could only imagine what it would look like at night, all lit up, and could almost see herself wandering along with a gingerbread latte in hand.
And someone to share it with.
She took her camera out of her handbag and snapped a few pictures. It wasn’t good that she was imagining strolling through the walk with Blake, holding hands and admiring the decorations, doing some last-minute shopping. She tucked her camera away and zipped up her bag. She was here to shop for her family, and that was what she was going to do.
Venturing on, she entered an upscale shopping center. At a bookstore she found a hardcover book featuring a beautiful stained-glass collection. She bought a stunning cashmere scarf and glove set in the department store for Gram, wincing at the price tag but wanting to treat her grandmother to something fancy and upscale.
She browsed through the store, admiring the fine clothes and gazing at perfume bottles with longing. But today wasn’t for her. She resisted the urge to treat herself even as she passed the lingerie section. She had a weakness for pretty underwear and nearly gave in when she spotted an emerald-green silk bra and panty set on sale. But she turned away, knowing she didn’t need it. Knowing that there weren’t any occasions to warrant it in her future.
And yet she hesitated, just for a heartbeat, remembering the look in Blake’s eyes as he’d kissed her. There could be, couldn’t there? If she allowed it. If she let him in.
Getting away for the day had been smart. Even this morning, in the barn, there’d been a light in his eyes that was hard to resist.
In the end she gave it one last longing glance and moved on.
She still had to find something for Grace—the hardest present of all. What could she get for a woman who didn’t settle down? Who lived her life from a suitcase? Perhaps Faith and Hope lived oceans apart, but they’d made lives for themselves in one place. Grace traveled endlessly.
At a gallery she spent more than she’d planned on a small painting for Grace—a grove of trees leading to a river. It reminded Hope of summer days in Beckett’s Run. The colors were soft and blended, giving it a lazy, nostalgic feeling. Looking at it, she felt her throat tighten. Her sisters hadn’t given up on her, had they? She’d given up on them. Or, more accurately, she’d given up on herself.
It was too late now to get those years back. Grace in particular was angry with her, and rightfully so.
Before she could change her mind, she handed over her credit card and bought the piece. Grace traveled, but she did still have an apartment. A home base. Maybe the girls couldn’t go back to those days, but if they were all going to be together for Christmas perhaps they could remember some good times.
With her sisters and grandmother taken care of, that just left Blake. As Hope wandered farther into the historic district she saw a store boasting Westernwear. Unable to resist, she went inside.
It smelled of leather and cotton, and Hope couldn’t hold back the small smile that touched her lips. This was Blake’s world, wasn’t it? Boots and leather, jeans and belt buckles. She didn’t know why she was here, really—her plan had been to pick up the sleigh bells and that was it. But there wasn’t anything wrong with getting him a small something to say thank you, was there? After all she’d been staying in his house and eating his food for more than a week already.
And she was giving him plenty in return—professional photos, a part of her argued.
She ignored the thought. She could buy someone a present if she wanted. She ran her fingers over the soft fabric of a red long-sleeved shirt. Blake looked good in red. It set off his complexion and made the blue of his eyes stand out somehow. Kind of like it had just before he’d kissed her in front of the Christmas tree.
She swallowed. It was just a shirt, right?
And she really should get something for Anna, she justified. After all, Blake was her host but Anna cared for the house and did most of the cooking. That was all these things were—host and hostess
