Jamie chose Hamish or Hamish chose Jamie, but it was love at first sight. So now Hamish is part of our family – and totally useless in an emergency as he has proved tonight.’
‘Well I’m here now, Hamish, so you’re off the hook.’ He ruffled Hamish’s fur, his words making Eva feel all warm inside for some reason. She reached for her glass thinking she should probably slow down just as her phone pinged. Grabbing it, she scanned a message from Heather.
‘My friend Heather, letting me know Jamie is fine,’ she told Ben. ‘She’s managed to get through on her mobile to the power company – apparently they’re working on restoring the power but it could take a while.’ Eva tapped out a reply saying she was okay, stifling a giggle imagining Heather’s reaction if she could see her now sitting in the dark with wine, candles, and Ben.
There was a pause and Eva suddenly felt awkward, unsure what to say. It bothered Eva how their last conversation had ended, like a black cloud hanging between them. She tried to picture him as a city trader but just couldn’t do it – something didn’t sit right about it. But she certainly hadn’t meant to sound so disparaging. She glanced over at him now, rubbing Hamish’s ear.
Maybe it was the darkness, but she felt acutely aware of how close he was to her and her senses seemed to be in overdrive. She really wished she didn’t notice the way the candlelight danced across his features, casting a shadow over his cheekbones and illuminating his dark eyes. Maybe it was the wine and she hoped she wouldn’t regret bringing up the topic again but suddenly she needed to apologize.
‘You know, when you told me you worked in the city, I – I didn’t mean to sound judgemental. I’m sorry.’ There was silence and Eva realized she was holding her breath.
‘You don’t need to apologize. Working as a trader wasn’t something I ever wanted to do.’ His words filled Eva with relief for some reason and her shoulders loosened.
‘So … why did you do it?’
She heard him exhale in the darkness. ‘It’s a long story.’
‘I’d like to know it,’ she said quietly. ‘If you don’t mind telling me.’
He appeared to contemplate his glass for a moment before slowly setting it down on the table and starting to speak.
‘After I finished my PhD at Oxford I got a job working at the university – teaching and research, which I loved. I’d go home to see my mum as often as I could. She still lived in the house where I grew up near London. She was living a happy active life, working part-time in a local bookshop, seeing friends.’ He paused for a moment before continuing.
‘I began to notice small changes in her but nothing I could put my finger on exactly. When she started to forget things I assumed it was because she was just getting older. But she started to do a few strange things – asking odd questions, losing things, and becoming confused. I had this horrible instinct something wasn’t right. We went to the doctor and that was the start of a whole series of testing.’ He sighed, a deep heart-wrenching sound that made Eva want to reach out and touch him.
‘Eventually she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s.’
‘Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry.’
‘After that, things deteriorated quickly. They put her on various medications, which helped with the confusion but over the next year things became more difficult. I was worried she’d have an accident – she would leave the water on, wander off on her own. I went home as often as I could during the week, even staying the night and leaving early in the morning to get to work.’
‘That must have been terrible.’ Eva blinked, filled with sadness for him.
‘At first I thought about giving up work to look after her but because her immune system was so weak she kept getting infections. It became clear she needed proper medical, intensive, and round-the-clock care. I did a load research and found a specialist care unit reasonably close to where she lived. It was as non-institutionalized as I could find and she’d get the best care. But of course it came at a cost. There was no way my salary at the university would cover it.’ He rolled his shoulders and took a breath.
‘One day I happened to meet an old friend from university who worked in finance. We got chatting and I couldn’t believe how much he was earning. He told me the big financial firms were always on the lookout for analytical thinkers and that he could set me up with an interview.’ He paused again and Eva knew this wasn’t easy for him.
‘So, that’s what I did – I left the university and took a job at an investment bank. It meant I could pay for my mother to receive the care she needed. She lived there for five years until she died. It would have broken her heart if she’d known I’d turned my back on my university career but seeing her suffer more than she had to would have been worse.’
They sat in silence for a few moments, Eva’s heart aching for him, and she placed a hand on his arm.
‘Ben, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. And I’m sorry for reacting the way I did but now I know why you did it I totally understand. You had a difficult decision to make but you did what you had to so your mother was in the best possible place. Your decision was based on love – anyone can see that.’ Eva lifted her hand from Ben’s arm, instantly missing the warm solid feel of it.
‘And now you’re back working at a university – your mum would be happy about that,’ she said softly.
‘Yeah, she would.’ Eva was relieved to see the briefest of smiles pass over his lips.
A contemplative silence settled over them and Eva sensed Ben seemed more relaxed as he leaned forward, taking the bottle to top up their drinks. He passed Eva her glass and their fingers brushed together, the feel of his skin sending a prickle of heat through her.
‘Jamie told me he’s going on his trip.’ Jamie had taken homework to Ben’s house a couple of times and the arrangement seemed to be working well.
‘To say he’s excited is an understatement.’
‘But you’ll still worry about him.’ It wasn’t a question.
‘I guess that’s what happens when you’re an only parent – you end up doing the worrying for two.’
‘You must miss Jamie’s father?’ Ben spoke gently.
‘I do at times. But mostly I feel sad for Jamie not having his dad and for Paul dying so young.’
‘I’m sure he would be very proud of you both.’
‘Thanks,’ Eva said. ‘We’re doing all right now but when we first arrived it was a different story. I was daunted by what I’d taken on and it didn’t help that my mum took every opportunity to point out she thought I’d made a huge mistake. I think what she really wanted was for me and Jamie to go back to Edinburgh so that she could look after us.’
‘But you didn’t want to?’
‘I know my mum wants the best for me, but let’s just say our ideas of what that might be are very different. The most important thing for me was to be self-sufficient. My dream was to run a business that let me be with Jamie and provide a stable life for him.’
‘And the chickens, the dog, are part of that dream?’ His voice
