patients but that was about it. She was hungry for information about Chance but the only thing Michael had said was that he would be home during the Christmas holidays.
How could Chance act this way after what they had shared in the jungle? After she had exposed her heart? Had she misjudged the type of person Chance was? Keeping the resentment at bay was difficult. Even when her mother had died she hadn’t felt this abandoned. She hadn’t had a choice. Chance did. If anyone should know how she was feeling it should be him. So why didn’t he care enough to do something about it?
When he did come to the States, would he call her? Ask to see her? How could a man be so smart yet so dense? She clenched her teeth, almost as angry with herself for caring as she was with Chance.
That went for her father as well. He’d been harping on at her for weeks to take a job at the big teaching hospital in the city. He’d even had one of his buddies call and put in a good word for her. Today was the day that they had the talk that was long overdue.
She had given her apartment up when she’d left for Honduras so her father had insisted that she stay with him until she figured out what she was going to do next. That wasn’t a question. She already knew what she was going to do. Return to Honduras, and if not there then someplace that really needed her.
Her father had had a fit when she had announced the week before that she was on the schedule at the clinic where she had worked in the city. The conversation had gone something like, you could have been killed, you are lucky to be alive, you should be grateful, you need to think about what you are doing. She didn’t expect today’s discussion to go much better but what she had to say needed to be said.
Chance had accused her of being reckless. She’d never thought of herself that way. Her father had put her in a box of protection that she had wanted to get out of but which had made her take chances. When her mother had died she’d learned at a young age that life was short, but had she really become irresponsible with her decisions?
The last thing she wanted to do was put anyone in danger. She knew from her and her mother’s accident that poor decisions could cause horrible outcomes. Did she get so caught up in what she wanted that she didn’t think about others? Had she been reckless where Chance was concerned?
She’d made reservations at her and her father’s favorite café and arrived early enough that she had gotten them a table in the back. Despite the hustle and bustle of Christmas shoppers stopping for a break, they would have a quiet place to talk.
“How’re you feeling?” her father asked, after he’d kissed her and taken his seat.
He was a large, burly man who looked out of place in a suit despite having worn one most of his life. Ellen liked nothing better than being pulled into one of his bear hugs. They had never had a real disagreement until she had informed him she was going to Honduras. She had not left on good terms and had returned to him telling her he’d told her so. Today’s conversation wouldn’t be an easy one.
“Much better. I’m not having to sit down as often at work as I did the first few days.”
“You went through some ordeal. Dr. Freeman didn’t tell me a lot but from the look of you when you got to the plane you had been close to death.”
Her father had come for her himself. Had even brought their private doctor with him.
The waitress came to their table for their order.
“I’ll have afternoon tea,” Ellen told her.
“I’ll have the same,” her father said. As the waitress moved away he continued, “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost you. It isn’t fair to put me through something like that. Sometimes you’re so like your mother.”
There it was. The guilt. Had her mother really been reckless or just enjoying life? Even if Ellen was like her mother, her feelings and desires had merit. She deserved to live her own life.
“I’m sorry. Maybe I do need to be more careful but that doesn’t mean I need to give up my dreams just to make you happy.”
She had to make it clear she wasn’t going to live in a bubble just for him. That she needed his love and support but not at the cost of what she wanted. She’d learned life was too short for that. More recently, and in the past.
“Dad, it didn’t happen to you. I was the one who had the reaction to the spider bite.”
“Yes, but I was the one scared to death that I might lose you.”
What little she could remember about Chance after she’d become sick, he had been scared too but he had still praised her for her strength, encouraged her to keep going. He’d been concerned about her but had never wanted to hold her back. Her father wanted to do just that.
“Yeah, it was pretty frightening in parts. But I’m here.”
“And that’s where I want you to stay.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.”
His bushy brows rose.
“Daddy, I’m going back to Honduras if the clinic will have me. If not, then I’ll go to another Central American country to work.”
Her father’s palm slapped on the table, rattling the silverware. “Haven’t you had enough? After what happened to you?”
“Daddy, I know you love me. I know I’m all you have. But this is something I’m compelled to do. I’m grown, heaven’s sake I’m a doctor. I’m needed there. I wished you would understand but if you don’t, that is fine. I have to go anyway.”
Her father studied her. “Does this have something to do with Dr. Freeman?”
She looked away. “Some, but not all.”
“That’s what I thought. I had him checked out. He’s known for having women falling for him.”
Her chest tightened. She could understand why. She certainly had. “That may be so but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do good work. That the Traveling Clinic doesn’t have value.”
“There’s plenty of work you can do here. Of value. Did you even talk to the hospital about the job?”
“Daddy, I’m not going to. That’s not where I belong.”
The waitress returned with their tea. They sat quietly until she had finished placing the tea stand in front of them and left.
“I love you, Daddy. I do, but I have to be true to myself. I know you have lost. I have too. I miss Mother every day. I know you worry about me. You’ve worked to protect me. But you can’t do that forever. I’ll get hurt. Bad things will happen to me. That’s life. What I need is your support. Encouragement.”
Her father ate without saying anything. He finally looked at her. His eyes glistened. The last time she’d seen him close to tears had been when he’d sat beside her bed in the hospital and had had to tell her that her mother had died.
“I love you dearly. The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do was keep you safe. See
