could be. And the best husband.
Surely that would be the start of good enough?
He had a sudden vision of waking up in bed beside Maeve for every morning to come for the rest of his life. How the hell would he get out of bed?
But Simon. He’d forgotten that Maeve was the sister Simon was most protective about. How could he forget that in the circumstances? Because he needed to think of other people in his life now. He wasn’t alone. He had Maeve, and Connor, and apparently a whole family or two. He glanced down at his son again and then at Simon.
He stopped where Simon was sitting. ‘Can you hold him for a sec? My arm’s gone to sleep.’ It hadn’t but he could see Simon needed something to hold as well. Tara was in the operating theatre with Maeve and she couldn’t help him.
He watched his friend’s face soften as he took the sleeping infant. Saw the tension loosen in the rigid shoulders. He missed the weight of Connor but was glad that Simon had him for the moment. Funny how a tiny helpless baby could help both of them to be stronger.
And then the doors opened and Angus came out. He looked at Simon first and then at Rayne.
‘She had a spontaneous tear in her uterus. Probably a weakness in the muscle she was born with. It took a while to find it and she lost a lot of blood. But she’s stable now.’
Rayne felt his body sag. Was actually glad that Simon held Connor.
‘No more normal births for her. And a Caesarean in a bigger centre next time in case it does it again.’
So they had saved her uterus. Not bad for a tiny country hospital. ‘So more blood transfusions?’
‘And fresh frozen plasma and cryo. They’ll need some of your blood over at the blood bank because we’ve used nearly all of theirs.’
It was the least he could do.
‘Do we need to ship her out to a bigger hospital?’ Simon had stood and his father was smiling at him with his nephew in his arms.
‘I don’t think so. And I would if I thought she needed to go. Would have spirited her there half an hour ago if I could have, but the crisis is past.’ He grinned at Simon, who was swaying with the baby. ‘Can’t you men put that baby down?’
Rayne glanced at his friend. The relief was soaking in slowly. ‘We’re sharing the comfort. So she’ll be fine?’
‘She’ll have to spend a few more days in hospital than she expected but she’ll be spoiled rotten in Maternity.’
Rayne thought of going back to the manse without Maeve and Connor. ‘Can I stay there, too? In the room with her and Connor? Help her with the baby?’
Angus raised his brows. ‘Can’t see any reason why not. Might mean that Tara will hand her over because she’s not budging and I think she’s nearly out on her feet.’ He glanced at his son with a tired smile. ‘Tara did a great job, Simon.’
So many amazing people here. So many he had to thank. Rayne stepped up to Angus and shook his hand. How could he ever repay them? ‘Thank you. Thank the other guys.’
‘We’ll call in a favour if we need it.’ Angus smiled.
Rayne looked at him. Saw a man who would be ruthless if he needed something for his little country hospital, and understood that. Smiled at it. Got the idea that resources could be hard to come by here when life threw a curve ball but those who had chosen to live here had saved his Maeve. They could have him any time they wanted.
He saw that he’d been accepted and was therefore fair game. He could deal with that. Thought for the first time about where Maeve might want to live and that, for the moment, if it was here he could cope with that.
Ten minutes later Simon took Tara home and Rayne carried Connor back to the room that would be Maeve’s. The night midwife, Misty, took him through to the nursery and they finally got around to weighing Connor and giving him his needles, then she ran her hands all over him, checking that everything was fine.
She listened to his heart and handed the stethoscope to Rayne with a smile. ‘Tara said you were a paed.’
Rayne listened. His son’s heart sounded perfect. No valve murmurs. No clicks. He ran his own hands over him as if he were a baby he had been asked to check. But this wasn’t a baby of some other lucky couple. This was his son. His hands stilled. This child depended on him for all the things his own father hadn’t given him and he would deliver.
Misty handed him clothes and he looked at the tiny singlet. Thought of Maeve.
‘Maeve’s missing this. Wish she was here to share it.’
‘Have you got your phone?’
He looked at her blankly. It wasn’t like he could ring her. It must have shown on is face.
Misty laughed. ‘You are tired. I can take photos of you dressing Connor and you can show her later.’
He shook his head. He should have thought of that. Handed her the phone in his pocket and Misty started snapping.
Rayne glanced at the sink as he lifted the singlet to stretch it widely over Connor’s head. ‘So when do we bath him?’
Misty shook her head. ‘Not for twenty-four hours. He still smells like Mum and it helps him bond and feel secure and remember what to do when he goes for his next feed.’
Rayne vaguely remembered that from something Maeve had said, along with the skin to skin with Mum in the first hour.
Connor stared sleepily up at him as he dressed him. ‘And what if he gets hungry before Maeve comes back?’
‘He’ll be fine. Tara said he fed well at birth. That’s great. He could sleep up to twelve hours before he wakes up enough to feed again this first day. It’s made such a difference letting them have that one long sleep after birth. Breastfed babies feed at least six to ten times a day and he’ll catch up later.’
‘I should know this stuff.’ He shook his head. ‘I’ve been out of it for nearly a year and in the States the doctors don’t really discuss breastfeeding issues.’
She laughed. ‘Everyone does everything here.’
He captured and pulled Connor’s long fingers gently through the sleeve of the sleeping gown. All the experience came back as he turned the little boy over onto his front and tied the cords of his nightgown. Made him feel not so useless. He could do this for Maeve. He folded the gown back carefully so it wouldn’t get damp if he wet his nappy. ‘Don’t you use disposable nappies here?’
‘Not until after they do their first wee. Those new disposables are too efficient and it’s hard to tell sometimes.’
‘Fair enough.’ He clicked the pin with satisfaction and tugged the secure nappy. Good job.
Misty nodded approvingly. ‘You can even do a cloth and pin nappy without help. Not many dads could do that the first day.’ The phone rang and she handed him a clean bunny rug. ‘Excuse me.’
She poked her head back
