took a second for understanding to dawn, and when it did I slumped against the bench too, filled with horror and disappointment and eventually numbness. An icy, debilitating chill that spread from my chest out, making my arms and legs tingle then shake.
It did little to anaesthetise the pain twisting my gut, making me want to vomit.
‘What happened? I was only gone a few minutes.’
I couldn’t comprehend it. This morning in bed he looked like he cared way beyond casual. Now he’d walked away from me without even saying goodbye? It didn’t make sense. Sadly, I had a feeling nothing Remy said would clarify my confusion.
‘Tanner’s in a funk and when he’s overwhelmed, he runs.’ Remy pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘It’s what he’s always done.’
‘Am I the cause of that funk?’
Remy had the decency to meet my gaze when he nodded. ‘I think so. I’ve never seen him so happy. It’s why I thought this time would be different.’
A stab of jealousy pierced my sadness. ‘So he’s done this before with other women?’
‘No, he’s never let other women get this close.’ A deep frown slashed Remy’s brow. ‘You’re a first, which is why I thought he’d make a stand and fight.’
‘I don’t understand. He’s in a funk because he’s happy?’
Remy nodded, sorrow turning down his mouth. ‘He thinks he’s not good enough for you.’
‘What?’ Incredulous, I pressed my fingers to my temples to try and make sense of all this. ‘He’s successful, rich and hot. Why would he think he’s not good enough?’
A slow-burning anger overtook my indignation. ‘And I’m not going anywhere, so why would he think I’d leave?’
Remy faced me, his expression morose. ‘Has he mentioned our parents?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah. Sounds like he idolised your mum but your dad was awful.’
‘Okay, so you know some of it...’ Remy shook his head. ‘It’s not my place to tell you everything I just learned, but let me say this. Tanner has been through a hell of a lot and he’s hurting...’ He shrugged, a simple gesture filled with helplessness. ‘It really messed with his head. Explains why as soon as he inherited his trust fund he rebelled, determined to do his own thing and prove himself to the world.’
A picture formed in my head that broke my heart. A boy losing his parents too young and becoming emotionally stunted because of it. A child with an inherent lack of trust for anyone other than the brother who stood by him through everything. Now that boy had become a man who shunned intimacy because of that lack of trust.
But I’d never given him any indication that I would hurt him.
Other than the clearly articulated short-term nature of our liaison.
Hell. I’d basically told him at the start that I was one of a long line of people in his life who wouldn’t stick around. No wonder he’d bolted when he’d thought we might be getting serious.
I muttered a curse under my breath. ‘What can I do?’
Remy patted my arm. ‘Honestly? Nothing. I know from experience that once Tanner makes up his mind, nothing or no one can change it.’
He glanced away, his furtive look not filling me with confidence. ‘He thinks that once you’ll open your own patisserie, you’ll be absorbed back into your old life and you won’t want him cramping your style.’
‘What the...?’ I shook my head, confused again. ‘But I’m not opening my own patisserie. I mean, maybe one day, but I’m happy here.’
Remy’s expression lightened as he eyeballed me. ‘But he overheard your mum’s offer and thought you’d accepted?’
‘He misconstrued.’ I made crazy circles at my temple. ‘That’s what happens when you listen at keyholes.’
He managed a wan smile at my dry response. ‘So you’re staying?’
‘For as long as you’ll have me.’ I leaned over and gave him an impulsive hug. ‘You saved me when I needed it most. I’d never betray you.’
‘It’s not a betrayal to embrace your family again,’ he said when we’d sat back. ‘I saw how gutted you were when they abandoned you.’
‘Honestly? I’m trying to give Mum the benefit of the doubt with her generous offer, but a part of me can’t help but feel she’s trying to buy my forgiveness?’
He nodded, his brow furrowed in thought. ‘You could be right, considering the length of time she’s taken to approach you. But she’s your mother. Take it from someone who lost my mum far too early and who’d give anything to have more time with her. Don’t waste time analysing her motivation. Just give it a chance.’
I reached over and squeezed his hand. ‘Thanks. You’re a good friend.’
‘Anytime.’ His smile faded as the frown slashing his brows returned. ‘As for Tanner, I think you need to give him time. Space. Let him brood. Sulk. Whatever.’
He held up his hand and crossed his fingers. ‘And hopefully this time, he won’t screw up the best thing to ever happen to him.’
I valued Remy’s advice. But as someone who’d walked away from a relationship without looking back, I hoped Tanner wouldn’t do the same.
Tanner
‘YOU’RE IN A foul mood.’ Hudson strolled into my office and perched on the edge of my desk. ‘Woman troubles?’
‘Fuck off,’ I snarled, not wanting to talk about Abby. Now or ever.
‘Nice.’ Hudson tapped at the screen of his cell and turned it towards me. ‘What do you think of this?’
Work I could do. Work would keep me focussed and driven. Work I could understand. Unlike the tumultuous feelings eating at me from the inside out, tainting every waking moment and most sleeping ones too.
It had been three days since I’d walked out of Le Miel. Seventy-two long hours where I’d fought every instinct to contact Abby. To explain. To apologise. To do something to ease the pain she must be feeling.
Because if she felt half of what I was feeling, she’d be in frigging agony.
I squinted at the screen. ‘A live show?’
Hudson nodded. ‘Lots of the Vegas clubs are doing them these days. Hosting special live events to draw in the crowds.’
‘We’re not known for being a live venue.’
‘Which is why this is so innovative.’ He brandished the cell at me again and I swatted
