a proposal. Set out figures for me. Then email me and I’ll take a look.’
‘That’s the spirit.’ Hudson gave me a thumbs up. ‘Now how about we hit the town tonight? Boys’ night out. Involving copious amounts of alcohol and luscious babes. What do you say?’
The thought of being near another woman right now set my teeth on edge. Crazy, because Abby and I were over. I owed her nothing. But it was too soon.
‘Thanks for the offer, but I’ll be working late tonight.’
Hudson stood and huffed out a breath. ‘Look, at the risk of getting my teeth punched out, you’ve been locked away in here for three days straight. You snap at anyone who ventures close. The staff are afraid of you. And I’m sick of you treating me like an enemy rather than a friend.’
He jabbed a finger at me. ‘So do whatever it takes to lighten the fuck up, okay? Confront what’s got you so riled. Get it out of your system. Deal with it.’
The only thing that would lighten my mood was to see Abby again and that wasn’t going to happen. Not in this lifetime.
‘Thanks for the pep talk, mate,’ I drawled, and pointed at the door. ‘Now get the hell out and leave me alone.’
‘Dickhead,’ he muttered, shaking his head as he strode towards the door, where he paused. ‘For what it’s worth, I liked you better when you were dating that Abby chick. She made you happy.’
I made a growling noise and stood, my fingers clenching into fists.
Hudson held up his hands in surrender. ‘Just saying,’ before he closed the door on his way out.
Abby had made me happy but that was over.
The faster I got my head around it, the better.
Abby
‘WHAT DO YOU THINK?’
I glared at Makayla as my back twanged for the umpteenth time. ‘I think Pilates is for pretzels.’
‘It’s your first class. You’ll get the hang of it after a few more.’ Makayla interlinked her fingers and stretched overhead. ‘It’s brilliant for flexibility and core strength.’
‘I’ll take your word for it.’ Wincing, I managed to stand. ‘In the meantime, I’ve got a hot bath with my name all over it.’
‘Fancy going out tonight?’
It had become Makayla’s standard invitation over the last three days. Ever since Tanner had walked out of my life and I’d let him.
‘Thanks, but I’d rather chill.’ I rolled my shoulders, hoping they didn’t spasm. I had a big croissant order to fill tomorrow.
‘A night out might do you good.’ Makayla slung a towel around her shoulders and mopped her face. ‘Get him out of your system.’
Nice in theory. Sadly, I had a feeling it would take a lot of practice to get Tanner out of my system.
‘You’re a good friend. But I’m okay, honest.’
A total lie, but I’d managed not to shed a tear yet, and I aimed to keep it that way. Easier to keep busy at work, then watch mindless sitcom reruns at night and fall into bed exhausted. I had a feeling if Makayla started asking questions about why things ended with Tanner, delved too far beneath my fragile surface, I’d crack. Once that happened, everything I’d been keeping locked away tight might spill out and that would be disastrous.
‘You don’t have to lie to me.’ Makayla slumped onto a bench lining the mirrored wall of the exercise studio and patted the spot next to her. ‘I can see how much you’re hurting all over your face.’
I grimaced as I sat next to her. So much for my poker face. ‘That obvious?’
‘I’ve been there. It sucks.’ She shrugged. ‘Did he give you a reason why he split?’
‘Uh...we haven’t spoken.’
Her eyebrows shot up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘When Remy got back, he left, and we haven’t spoken since.’
Makayla stared at me in confusion. ‘You haven’t called him to ask what’s going on?’
‘Nope.’
‘Why the hell not?’
‘Dignity. Pride. Nonchalance. Take your pick.’
‘You’re nuts.’ Makayla elbowed me. ‘It’s been three days and you haven’t wanted to see him? To talk to him?’
I knew exactly how long it had been since I’d last seen Tanner, beyond that fleeting glimpse when he’d brought Remy in. The morning I’d left him sexy and sleepy in my bed. The morning he’d held my hand, stared into my eyes and opened his mouth to say something, possibly momentous, before he’d chickened out.
I had too. I could’ve nudged him, given him another opportunity. Instead, I’d bolted for the shower and waited until he’d left before coming out of the bathroom. If I’d known that would be the last time I’d see him, would I have done things differently? Probably not. I was lily-livered that way.
I hadn’t known what had scared me more that morning: the possibility of Tanner saying he wanted a long-term relationship or me saying hell yeah.
‘Remy and I had a chat. He advised I give Tanner some time to brood.’
‘Wrong.’ Makayla made a buzzing noise. ‘Guys like him will retreat into their man cave, mull over the situation, invent reasons to suit their argument, then never call again.’
A sliver of doubt pierced my previous calm. I’d assumed Remy knew best. He’d given me insight into Tanner’s state of mind and I understood his need to think things over.
But what if Remy’s advice had missed the mark in this instance? What if I’d played this all wrong, giving Tanner too much time?
It made me wonder. What would’ve happened if I’d approached my family after I’d left? Would they have been more amenable to hearing my side of the story once the initial shock of my defection wore off? Would we have had some semblance of a relationship rather than this weird standoff that had finally been broken by my mother?
I’d been so busy playing the victim this last year, too busy blaming them, to realise that I could’ve made the first move.
Establishing my independence was one thing. But I’d let the hurt of being judged and then abandoned by them taint my view.
Once I’d got past Mum’s initial rants about ruining the Prendigast name and bringing shame on the family, I could’ve reached out. Could’ve explained how downtrodden I’d felt my entire life. How Bardley had made my life hell.
I
