future for baby Henry.
Last night’s visit to her past had reduced her to a shaking, sobbing mess, but when she’d woken this morning, instead of the yawning abyss of loss that had consumed her heart for so many years, she felt different. Yes, there was grief, and that would never completely go away. But overlaying that grief was a sense of closure, as if she’d finally been able to completely say goodbye.
She knew she’d never be able to stop thinking about her family, never stop loving them, but she felt less of a hostage to her grief than she’d been before. It was part of her. It had made her grow into the adult she was now and it had driven so many of her decisions, leading her to this point in her life. But maybe it was time for her to stop letting it direct her life. Maybe it was even time to let go of her grip on the guilt she felt for not having been able to avoid the crash that night. Perhaps she didn’t deserve to be unhappy, after all. Maybe it was even time to take a risk on loving someone else again. Someone like Piers, perhaps, who now came with a ready-made family?
The thought struck terror into her heart, but before long she managed to push past it to examine the thought carefully.
The analytical side of her brain asked her if she thought she might genuinely be falling in love with Piers.
If she entered into a relationship with him, she’d be doing it with her eyes open. After all, she probably knew the man better than his own mother did. She’d been an integral part of his life for the past three years, managing both his work world and his private life in as much as he needed her to. And she admired him. He could so easily have been more like Quin. So easily have lived off the obscenely large trust fund that previous generations of Luckmans had provided for him, but he’d chosen to work and he worked hard. The business and residential property developments he’d undertaken since she’d worked with him had become among the most sought after anywhere in the world.
Yes, he had a playboy background and, yes, she’d seen how easily he discarded a lover when he’d felt a relationship had run its course. But he’d definitely been different since Quin had died. Quieter. More thoughtful. And, slowly, she’d begun to see yet another facet to him. One that had undoubtedly begun to unravel the bindings around her heart.
But was she actually falling in love with him or was she instead falling in love with the idea of being part of something bigger than just herself? A family? A new start? A chance to make amends for what she’d done?
Faye squeezed her eyes closed and growled out loud in frustration. So many questions. So few answers.
* * *
Piers returned from Wyoming in the second week of the new year. She heard his voice as he came down the corridor from the elevators and every nerve in her body stood to attention. She’d avoided all his calls since she’d left Jackson Hole, keeping their communications strictly to text messages and email. She’d sensed his frustration with her immediately but she hadn’t been ready talk to him. To hear the timbre of his voice. To relive the intimacy they’d shared—the memory of which still took her by surprise every now and then and stole her breath away.
But there was no hiding now. Any second he’d round the corner and walk straight into the open-plan area they shared.
And then there he was.
The impact of seeing him was just as shocking as she’d anticipated. A flush of heat spread through her body as her eyes flew up to meet his. She swallowed hard against the sudden lump that formed in her throat when she realized he bore a baby car seat in one hand, with Casey sound asleep inside it, and his briefcase in the other.
“Good morning,” she finally managed to squeeze the greeting past the constriction and stepped out from behind her desk. “Coffee?”
“Why wouldn’t you answer my calls?”
“Coffee it is, then,” she answered smoothly and turned her back on him.
“Faye, you can’t keep avoiding me.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you. We spoke.”
“Through the written word only. And, yes, before you remind me again, I have been in touch with Lydia and, not so surprisingly, she canceled dinner. It seems she wasn’t quite ready for instant motherhood.
“But, back to you—after you left I was worried about you and until I was certain I could take Casey out of state with me, I couldn’t exactly drop everything and come running to check on you, either.”
She’d been aware of all that. She automatically went through the motions of making his coffee from the espresso machine in the corner. Once it was made to his preferred specifications, black and sweet, she carried his mug across to his desk.
“As you can see, you had nothing to worry about. I’m fine.”
Piers put the carrier with the sleeping baby on his desk and turned to face her. His hand shot up and his fingers captured her chin lightly, tilting her face toward his. A shiver of anticipation ran through her. Was he planning to kiss her? Here, in the office?
“Still too many shadows, Faye. Too many secrets. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us,” he said gently. “Not anymore.”
“Secrets? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m an open book.”
He laughed, a short, sharp sound that expressed his disbelief far more eloquently than any words could have done.
“Okay, so you want to play it that way for now. Fine. We’ll get back to business, but you won’t be able to hide from me forever.”
Casey chose that moment to wake and squawk his disapproval with his new surroundings. Faye was riveted by the sight of Piers, in full corporate splendor, lifting the child from the car seat and holding him to him as if he’d been doing it from the day Casey had been born. The little guy settled immediately.
“You’re spoiling him,” Faye noted, settling behind her desk.
“According to Meredith, you can’t spoil a baby. You can only love them. I’m inclined to agree.”
Faye felt that all too familiar clench in her chest. She knew very well how it felt to love babies. And to lose them.
“Have you had any more news from your lawyers?”
“They tell me they’re going to attempt a case based on abandonment. As Quin’s next of kin, they believe I stand a strong chance of being able to adopt Casey outright. At the very least the emergency guardianship application has been approved.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do? Adoption? It’s a big commitment. What if his mom changes her mind? What if even now she’s looking for him?”
“She knew where to find me the first time, she can find me again. If she does reach out, then maybe we can get to the bottom of why she didn’t see fit to contact us earlier about Casey.”
Faye thought back to the note. “Do you think she knew that Quin had...?” Her voice trailed away.
“To be honest, no. I think she heard I was coming back to the house for Christmas and acted impulsively. Maybe she thought I was Quin. Who knows? From what we’ve been able to glean, she worked on a temporary basis for the company that catered for me. She’s
