look after you?’ Luke said.
Sophie frowned. ‘You did?’
‘Of course. We had to consider the possibility of things going wrong on one of our treks. We had to do risk-management assessments for every expedition and we discussed what we’d do in the worst-case situation. We had to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Neither of us ever expected that something would happen that wasn’t related to work but either way the result is the same. We planned for this and discussed it, always hoping we wouldn’t need to worry about it for many years, but a promise is a promise, no matter when it’s needed.’
Danny and Luke ran an adventure holiday company, catering to all the adrenalin junkies who travelled to Tasmania to explore the wilderness. Had run, she should say. The business was now Luke’s. He’d bought Danny’s share from her, but he was right. Every time Danny had gone off on a trek she had lived in fear of a phone call telling her something had gone wrong, but she’d never anticipated the phone call would come when he was just out for a weekend ride on the outskirts of Hobart. Danny had spent most of his days in the wilderness, living on the edge—she hadn’t expected his days to come to an end in the city.
Getting knocked off his bike had been a stupid way for someone who’d spent his life trekking and white-water rafting and abseiling down cliff faces to die. He had simply gone off for a ride one morning. He’d kissed her goodbye as she’d left for work, and she hadn’t seen him alive again. The driver of the car that had killed him had been overtaking a truck on a blind corner. He’d smacked head on into Danny and the impact had been so severe that he hadn’t survived the head and chest injuries he had sustained.
And just last week Sophie had learned that the driver of the car had been released from jail. He had served six months for taking Danny’s life. It made her feel sick, just thinking about the unfairness of it all.
She was glad she was leaving. She couldn’t imagine how she would feel if she ever came face to face with the man responsible for her husband’s death. If she met him in the street she didn’t think she could be held responsible for her actions. She didn’t care that he’d expressed remorse. His stupidity had cost Danny his life. She knew she should try to forgive him but she hadn’t been able to yet. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to.
She knew her anger at the driver was magnified by her own guilt. If she hadn’t taken an extra shift that day, Danny wouldn’t have been out riding. He would have been home with her.
She should have been with him. If she had been he wouldn’t be dead. But guilt wasn’t going to bring him back. She needed to move past that but it was difficult when everywhere she looked she saw Danny. They’d been tied together their whole lives and it was hard to move on when so many things reminded her of shared times. She knew she had to get away. That was the only way she was ever going to recover. It was the only way she was going to get over her guilt.
‘I don’t feel right about saying goodbye without at least checking your frame of mind,’ Luke continued.
‘That’s why I’m doing this,’ Sophie explained. ‘I’m tired of people asking me how I am or, worse, saying nothing because they don’t know what to say. When Danny was killed my dreams died with him. It’s time for me to make some new dreams.’
For as long as she could remember she had always made three-year plans but the plans she’d made with Danny had come crashing down seven months ago and now she was a thirty-one-year-old widow. She needed a new plan.
‘I feel as though I should be trying harder to stop you,’ Luke said, ‘but I get the impression you’re not going to listen to me.’
Sophie smiled. ‘You’re right, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your concern.’
‘If you can look me in the eye and promise me you know what you’re doing, I’ll feel like I’ve kept my side of the bargain with Dan.’
‘I’ll be fine and I like to think Danny would be proud of me.’
Luke leaned over and kissed her cheek. ‘You’re right, he would be proud of you, I’m proud of you too. Just make sure you don’t do anything that makes me sorry I didn’t try harder to talk you out of this.’
‘Dr Thompson?’ Their conversation was interrupted by one of the nursing staff. ‘We’re ready for you now.’
Sophie stood and hugged Luke. ‘It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I promise,’ she said, before she followed the nurse off to Theatre.
Date: March 7th
Temperature: -7°C
Hours of sunlight: 13.9
THE SEAT BELT WAS pressing into Sophie’s still-tender abdomen and it was starting to irritate her now. Having had her appendix removed just a few days before her adventure wasn’t ideal but she’d had no other option.
She was determined to be on this plane and she hadn’t been about to let something as relatively minor as prophylactic surgery stop her. Any Australian doctor who wanted to work at one of the Antarctic stations had to have their appendix removed before they could be sent south. This clause didn’t apply to anyone else—the doctor would be able to remove anyone else’s troublesome appendix on the ice but the Australian Antarctic Programme didn’t want to risk the station doctor. The surgery was non-negotiable but in Sophie’s mind it was a relatively minor procedure and certainly something she had been happy to agree to. But she hadn’t expected the tenderness to last for so many days.
She undid her belt and stood up. She could stretch her legs and her abdominals at the same time. She wandered to the cockpit, seeking company. She was the sole passenger from Hobart to the Antarctic airfield. The plane would return filled with summer expeditioners heading home for the winter but on this leg she had the entire cabin to herself.
She’d spent most of the four-and-a-half-hour flight reading the numerous documents she’d been given, trying to work out which ones were the most important. Her trip had been fast-tracked and she knew she hadn’t had the same time to prepare as most others would have had. But she was tired of reading and it couldn’t be too much longer before they landed. It had been dark when they’d left Hobart but the sunrise had followed them as they’d flown west, eventually catching up with them, and Sophie had watched as the sky had turned pink and lightened as they’d flown over the ocean.
She knocked on the cockpit door, eager to check with the flight crew what their ETA was. She felt like a kid on a long car trip. ‘How much longer?’ She wanted to get the three-thousand-four-hundred-kilometre flight over and done with. She wanted to get to the ice.
‘Perfect timing,’ the pilot, said as he called her in. ‘Have a seat. We’ve just started spotting the first icebergs.’
Sophie took a seat behind the captain and co-pilot and peered through the cockpit windows. The sea was calm and flat, a pond of dark blue dotted with white. The icebergs were stunning, crisp, pure and brilliant and all different shapes and sizes. But the ice was not pure white, like she’d expected, but lit with myriad shades of blue—turquoise, aqua, a hint of cerulean and the palest sky blue.
It was a serene, perfect vista and Sophie was mesmerised. She could hardly believe she’d done it. What at
