away her clothing until her bare skin rested beneath him. He wanted to fill her with himself, invading her softness until she cried out with release.
But he’d never taken a woman before and didn’t know what he should do. When his hand moved up her skirt, he sensed the sudden change within her. Nairna’s hands rested against his chest, and though she kissed him back, she appeared nervous about it.
He released her, stepping back. ‘Do you want to do this?’
The uncertainty in her eyes made him pause. ‘I won’t deny you, Bram.’
Something didn’t seem right about her acceptance. She covered her breasts, adjusting her clothing until the outer gown fell onto the ground and she wore only her shift. The creamy linen clung to her and her nipples were taut against the fabric.
Nairna lay down upon the mattress, no longer looking at him. ‘I’m ready.’
Ready for what? Bram stared at her undergarment, trying to make sense of it. He removed his tunic, kneeling down beside her. Nairna inched the hem of her shift higher, until it bunched near her thighs, just below the curve of her bottom.
Understanding suddenly dawned upon him. ‘Did your husband take you like this?’
She nodded, her face bright with colour. ‘It’s your right, as my …’ she looked at the ground as though she were uncomfortable with the words ‘… my husband. And I do want children, so …’ Her voice trailed off, but he detected the anxiety beneath her veil of calm.
He’d heard of men taking a serving wench in that manner, simply lifting her skirts and driving deep inside. But it wasn’t what he’d imagined. He wanted her naked beneath him and it was sobering to learn that her experience wasn’t at all what he’d expected.
Bram ran his hand across her hair, moving down to her face. ‘Was it always this way?’
She nodded. ‘Bram, if you’re planning to—’ She stared up at the ceiling again. ‘It’s all right.’
‘Did he ever give you pleasure?’ he asked. ‘Or was it simply a duty?’
‘It didn’t hurt me.’ She looked worried, as if she were afraid she wasn’t giving the right answers.
‘That’s not what I asked.’
And when he saw the confusion in her eyes, he understood the truth. Though Iver MacDonnell had taken Nairna’s virginity, he’d taught her nothing about enjoying the marriage bed.
Bram stretched out beside her, forcing her to look at him. ‘I don’t want it to be that way.’ He didn’t want her to lie like a stone while he took her. He knew women could be pleasured, that sex was meant to be enjoyed by both of them.
How he wished he knew what to do. Nairna huddled on the edge of the mattress and it didn’t seem that she understood what he was talking about.
‘Nairna,’ he said quietly, ‘look at me.’
Clearly embarrassed, she blurted out, ‘I know I never pleased Iver. I thought there ought to be more, but I couldn’t feel things the way he could.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with you. Only with him.’
Even as he spoke the words, he felt his own apprehensions worsening. If her previous experience hadn’t been good, what made him think he’d be any better? He wanted to touch her, to explore her body and learn how to bring her to fulfilment. But she appeared so upset, he didn’t know how he would ever calm her anxiety.
He pulled her into his embrace and Nairna rested her cheek against his chest. The tension in her body was unspoken, in the way she curled up, half-shielding herself.
If he’d had any experience with lovemaking, he might have been able to coax away her fears. But he didn’t. And it seemed wrong to push her when she was nearly in tears, thinking that she’d been a poor wife.
His hands moved over her nape, softly soothing away the knots. He wanted to distract her, to take her mind off her fears.
‘Alex wants to leave in the morning to go after Callum,’ he said.
Nairna looked up at him for a long moment, worry lurking in her green eyes. ‘I didn’t realise it would be so soon.’ She caught his hand in hers. ‘I wish you would stay.’
‘You know I can’t.’ Though his fighting skills were weakened, he held the knowledge that would get them safely inside and out again.
The Earl of Cairnross, Gilbert de Bouche, had kept the prisoners chained belowground, bringing them out to construct thicker walls or to expand the fortress.
What Cairnross didn’t know was that Bram and the other prisoners had created weaknesses in the structure at various points. They’d even left one hidden portion of the outer curtain wall with loose stones. Bram knew exactly where the unmortared segment was, and that weakness would allow them to slip inside the fortress to free the prisoners.
‘I can get the men inside to rescue Callum,’ he said. ‘And if they follow my lead, they can take him out before the English even know we’re there.’
Nairna rested her hands behind her head. ‘Do you really want to go back to Cairnross, after what they did to you?’ Her eyes met his, holding a thousand questions he didn’t want to answer.
He blocked out the memories, refusing to let the past interfere with what he had to do. Getting Callum out was all that mattered. ‘I’ve no choice.’
‘How long will you be gone?’ she asked.
‘It will take four days to reach Lord Cairnross’s fortress, if we ride hard. Then four days back again.’
He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. His head pounded with an oncoming ache, and he felt his hands beginning to shake again. He took one breath, then another, trying to still the tremor.
But he could no more control his trembling hands than he could stop his heart from beating. It slashed at his pride and he hated that she was seeing him like this.
Nairna touched a cool hand to his forehead. ‘It’s all right, Bram,’ she whispered. ‘If you’re to make this journey, you need rest.’
‘I don’t sleep, Nairna. It’s not something I can do anymore.’
‘Try.’ She brought her fingers over his eyelids and he shut them, breathing in the soft fragrance of her skin. Though his mind refused to remain still, troubled with thoughts of Callum, his wife’s touch brought him comfort.
And though he wished, more than anything, that Nairna’s presence could take away the nightmares, he doubted if it would ever happen.
‘I never thought I’d be sending you off to fight again,’ she said, her hand resting over his eyes as if she could will him to sleep.
As he lay unmoving beneath the butterfly touch of her fingers, a slight note of uneasiness pulled at him. There was always a risk involved with any fight. Before he’d brought Nairna back with him, he hadn’t cared about his own fate. If he died in the battle, so be it.
But
