Unfortunately, the MacKinloch men love any opportunity to fight.’ A shadow of melancholy passed over her, and her blue eyes turned wistful. ‘They’ll never surrender their freedom. They’re too proud.’
Nairna couldn’t help comparing the two clans. Her father hadn’t cared about pride or freedom. Hamish had pledged his loyalty to the English king, to save their lands and protect the people. He’d made his choice, to turn his back on the rebellion. And though his cowardice bothered her, eventually he would be forced to confront the English. In contrast, the MacKinlochs lived in the shadow of constant battles. She didn’t know which was worse.
‘My girls and I are going for a walk,’ Laren said, her face reddening slightly. ‘We should be back in a few hours.’ From the guilty expression on her face, it was clear the Lady of Glen Arrin had no desire for Nairna to accompany them.
‘While you’re gone, might I have a look at the household accounts?’ Nairna blurted out. ‘At my father’s fortress, I helped them to increase their earnings. It might be that I could do the same here.’
Laren shrugged. ‘If you wish.’ She gave instructions as to where Nairna could find them and then excused herself from Nairna’s side, ignoring the mess within the Hall.
As Laren crossed the room, it seemed that there was no light left within her, as if she’d abandoned hope. Her girls emerged from the narrow staircase and joined their mother, holding hands in their quiet retreat.
Where were they going? Along the edge of the loch for their walk? It struck her as unusual for the Lady to abandon the keep for hours on end. Something wasn’t right. Nairna thought about following them, but decided against it. She had her chance now to learn more about Glen Arrin, without Alex or Bram to interfere. Perhaps she could determine ways to rebuild their holdings.
Earning money was something she understood. Numbers and coins could be multiplied and increased. And if there was a way to improve their living circumstances at Glen Arrin, she would find it.
Nairna leaned up against the outer curtain wall, her mind mulling over the problems of the clan. Her mind was filled up with ideas. Sheep could bring in the profit of wool, or perhaps they could increase their cattle herds. There was a little space for farming, but only enough to provide grain.
As her brain spun off dreams of increasing the wealth, her heart worried about Bram. She remembered his heated mouth seizing hers, the way he’d cupped her breasts, running his thumbs over the nipples. Nairna turned her burning face to the wall, her skin growing more sensitive. Though he wasn’t here, she imagined him removing the clothing from her body, baring her skin to his touch. His lips would kiss her and she wondered if his hungry mouth would move over her breasts, down to her thighs.
The air in her lungs grew heavier, and Nairna pressed her hand against the wooden enclosure, trying to shut off the vision.
Bram had said he would return with Callum in a little over a sennight. She wanted to believe that he would return safely with his brother, but her greater fear was that once again, she’d lose him.
She pushed back the fear gathering inside. Right now, she had to be strong, to wait for his return. But once he did come back, what then?
Would she finally become his wife in body, rekindling what was lost between them? Would her womb finally bear a child of their union? Or would she become bitter and angry at herself, their marriage weakening as Laren’s had?
Her gaze moved across the inner bailey, taking note of every man and adolescent who remained. There were about twenty younger men and ten elder. Though the men worked in their daily tasks, the air of neglect hung heavily.
As stubborn as their chief was, she doubted if Alex would go after the women, despite what his men needed.
But perhaps there was something she could do.
At dawn, Nairna cut Dougal free. The boy’s eyes were bloodshot, as though he hadn’t slept at all. She’d given him food and drink at several intervals, as well as a blanket last night, but hatred darkened Dougal’s face. As he passed by her, he deliberately walked into her shoulder, knocking her aside. Nairna was so startled by his aggressive behaviour that she had no time to respond until he was already past her.
She rubbed her shoulder and one of the other adolescent boys came forwards. ‘He didna hurt you, did he?’
Nairna shook her head. ‘I suppose he blames me for following Bram’s orders.’
‘He doesn’t like anyone. No one likes him, either.’ The young man shrugged. ‘He’ll get himself killed in a fight one day.’
Nairna blinked at the nonchalant assessment. ‘I hope not.’ Never had she seen anyone with that much fury locked inside. It was unsettling and she wondered if anyone had ever attempted to talk with Dougal.
‘Don’t let it bother you.’ The young man, whose name she learned was Monroe, started to walk away.
But Nairna caught up to him, wanting more answers. ‘Was he always this way?’
‘He got worse after the women left,’ Monroe admitted.
‘They need to return. The clan is lost without them.’ It occurred to her that she was in a better position than the men to ask them to come back. She could find out the true reasons why they’d left and do what she could to bring them home.
‘I’m going to go after them,’ she said suddenly. ‘And bring them back.’
‘They might not come,’ Monroe said. ‘Lady Grizel, Alex’s mother, won’t set foot upon Glen Arrin again. She said so. And if she doesna come, the others won’t either.’
‘It can’t hurt to ask.’
Monroe sent her look of disbelief. ‘You don’t know Lady Grizel well, do you?’ He didn’t bother to hide his shudder.
Nairna ignored his cynicism. ‘I’ll need escorts and supplies. Can you gather some men together for me and we’ll leave on the morrow?’
‘I can ask, but it’s safer if the women and bairns stay with Lord Locharr,’ Monroe argued. ‘His castle is stronger than Glen Arrin will ever be.’
‘Don’t you think Alex is trying to change that?’ The chief of the MacKinlochs struck her as an ambitious man. ‘Glen Arrin can be more than it is.’
‘It’ll ne’er happen,’ Monroe said. ‘The clan’s too divided. Bram was meant to be chief, but he doesna want it anymore. He’s too weak, anyhow.’
‘He is not too weak,’ Nairna shot back. ‘In a few weeks, he’ll be as strong as any of them.’
‘If he comes back.’ With that, Monroe nodded his head in farewell and walked away.
Nairna’s skin turned cold. He’ll come back, she reassured herself.
He had to.
Chapter Ten
Bram remained in the shadows, watching the English soldiers who patrolled the garrison. He knew their faces, especially the men who had guarded the prisoners. Some had been impassive, merely obeying orders. Others had enjoyed tormenting
