thought on numerous encounters with the man who might be more than he ever admitted.
‘He could be,’ her mother said. ‘There were the others involved, but you do resemble him.’
When she calmed a bit, she noticed the terrible fear in her mother’s eyes and went to her. Her mother opened her arms as she had done countless times before and Ciara fell into them. The embrace became something more and Ciara cried in her arms for the pain and humiliation Marian had suffered to keep her safe.
‘I can never thank you enough for what you did for me … for your friend … for everything,’ she whispered, kissing her mother’s cheek. ‘Never.’
Ciara glanced over at the only father she’d known and nodded to him. He cleared his throat against the tears she could see in his eyes. ‘Now you understand why this must be kept secret?’ he asked.
He expected her to use her mind in this and she tried to, even though she was overwhelmed by the disclosures and the truth. Examining all those who could be harmed, she realised that this truly did affect a number of clans, the honour or dishonour of many people and the innocence of a woman who agreed to give her husband a child by any means.
‘I do,’ she said.
Thinking about something that Tavis had witnessed, she asked about the visit from Beitris’s family some months later. ‘Why did Beitris’s family come here? Tavis told me you were questioned,’ she said, facing her father.
This time it was his turn to pale at her question. Again her parents glanced at each other. They were not expecting this matter to be brought up, but she needed to understand as much of the whole truth as she could discover.
‘Rumours flew about the night of your birth. Some in the keep heard a bairn’s cry. Others claimed to see you being spirited out of the keep alive. Worse, one of the men involved confessed his part on his deathbed and Beitris’s family learned of it. Knowing that my word was my bond, they asked if your mother, Marian, came to my bed a virgin or if she could be your mother.’
Of all the things she could have heard, this was the most shocking for its implications on his honour.
‘You lied for her?’ she whispered, fearing that saying those words in any volume was a terrible thing. The accusation could have resulted in punishment or even a challenge if uttered by a man in public, but her surprise was so great, the words blurted out.
‘You were her child. Losing you would have destroyed her and I could not allow that to happen.’
His words were a declaration of the deepest kind of love imaginable and her heart swelled listening to it. A man of honour who would give it up for the woman he loved … and still loved just as deeply from the way he gazed at her now.
There were probably other questions, but Ciara could not think of them now. What she had heard thus far changed everything she knew about her family, her clan and herself and she would need time to come to an understanding of what this all meant. For now, she would consider everything and speak to her parents again when she’d calmed down more. If she thought to speak about it further, the loud knock on the cottage door stopped her. Duncan left her chamber, closing the door as he did, and went to see who knocked. She remembered just as his voice reached them there.
‘Ah, James! Welcome! Elizabeth, come inside,’ Duncan said loudly, loud enough that most of the village probably heard him.
Ciara started to go to the door, but her mother stopped her. ‘Let him handle this. You need time to …’
‘Stop crying and let my eyes stop swelling?’ she asked quietly.
She never looked delicate or dainty or feminine when she cried. Instead her eyes swelled, her nose looked like a bulbous mess and nothing helped except time. Tavis had teased her more than once over it and she’d known it was true when she peered into the looking glass for herself. Ciara smiled sadly and nodded.
The conversation in the other room continued and her father ended up sending James off with Elizabeth for a tour of the village since Ciara was too fatigued to leave her bed this morn. When the door shut, Ciara waited several moments before leaving her chamber.
‘Elizabeth seemed agreeable to showing James through the village. They hope you will feel up to the ceilidh this evening at the keep.’ Elizabeth was her closest friend and she would always appreciate her help in this.
‘I will.’
‘James tried to apologise to me for upsetting you.’
Ciara smiled then. James was trying to be honourable about this predicament since it was his words that had revealed it to her.
‘He seems genuinely sorry that I overheard it all.’
‘A good sign for a young man to take responsibility for his actions, even if it was accidental,’ her father said.
‘So you approve of this match, then?’ she asked. Looking from one to the other, she could see they differed in opinions in this.
‘Aye, I do, Ciara,’ he said plainly. ‘This just confirms it for me.’ Her mother snorted—snorted!—but looked away when she turned to her.
‘Mother?’ Ciara said, giving her the chance to voice her concerns. An unspoken but communicated thought passed from one to the other and her mother simply shrugged, keeping silent about any concerns she might have.
‘This is your decision to make, sweetling. I will support you in it.’
They turned to leave, with a suggestion that she rest, when she remembered the other question that nagged at her mind and memory.
‘My dowry,’ she said. They stopped and faced her, this time with their hands joined. ‘Is it from him?’
‘Iain?’ her father asked.
‘Aye.’
He shook his head in reply. ‘He provided a dowry for both you and Marian. We decided to put it together for you, since your sister, our Beitris, inherits lands from her Robertson grandmother.’
‘’tis blood money, then, paid for his part in his wife’s, my mother’s, death?’
‘I think of it as repayment for all that was lost, Ciara. We existed in poor circumstances when both of us were entitled to more, much more, but could not claim it.’
‘To ease his guilty conscience, then,’ she offered.
‘To offer help when he could not in the past,’ her mother countered.
‘You seem eager to forgive him for his sins, Mother.’
‘Ciara, do not let this make you bitter. You were raised in love by us, given every privilege and comfort you needed. I would have refused it at the time, but decided you deserved it, to ensure a happy future.’
The irony that struck her was that the dowry was the heart of the problem for her. It made her more appealing as a bride to any and all clans who had an unmarried heir and need for gold. Without it, she might have been able to marry someone here, someone …
Ciara shook her head, trying not to allow that thought
