it away without a second thought.
Perhaps it wasn’t too late. If he went back now and begged her pardon on his knees, perhaps she would stay—if not for his sake, for his grandfather’s. She loved the earl. Surely she would not desert him?
Luke strode towards the house. Please let him be in time. If she’d already gone, he would find her. He would find her and bring her back for the earl’s sake.
Even now he was in denial. Even now he could not quite admit that he needed her, needed her more than he had ever believed possible.
He had no right to care. He was not worthy of her love. He did not know how to love. She had the right to walk away if she chose, now that she knew him for what he was. His damnable temper and the way he hurt people—how could Roxanne ever love him?
Roxanne had left the sealed note on the silver salver in the hall. Mrs Arlet would find it and deliver it to the earl later. It would hurt him, though she’d promised that she would return to see him if she could one day—one day when Luke was back in London and she would not have to see him or the lashing scorn in his eyes.
How could Luke have said such things to her? Roxanne felt her throat tighten with pain. It hurt so much to know what he truly thought of her. How could he believe that she was pretending to care for the earl? He must know that she loved him. He must know that she loved them both so much that this was tearing her into shreds.
She was carrying one small bundle, very similar in content to that she had taken when she left the camp of the travelling players. She’d had no choice but to take the gown she was wearing, some underclothes and a spare skirt and bodice, but the ring and necklace Luke had given her were left on the dressing table in her room.
She had less money than when she’d fled from Black Bob. She’d had no need of money in the earl’s house and none had been offered to her. Instead, Luke or the earl had met all the bills for her clothes and anything else she needed was provided.
She would need to find employment quite soon. Roxanne had packed her things, written her note and left in haste. She had not given a thought to what she would do in the future. Now she realised that she must begin working almost immediately. The ruby had gone and she was without friends. Her dream of becoming an actress must be put to one side for the moment. To eat and have a roof over her head, she must take any work that was offered.
She could not look for a position too close to the estate. People might know her and gossip and she did not wish to cause a scandal for Luke and the earl. There would naturally be some scandal when it was discovered that the engagement was over, but Luke could explain to his family that he’d been mistaken in her; they would sympathise with him and it would blow over after a few months.
Roxanne recalled that they had passed a staging inn on the way here. That meant that the mail coach would call there on its way to and from London. She might just have enough coins to travel a part of the way to London. She could find an inn or perhaps a farmhouse where they were looking for a girl to help with the chores. It was not the life she would choose for herself, but she must make the best of it until she could earn enough to set up for herself. Perhaps she could become a seamstress. She had some talent for sewing and she would prefer that kind of work.
She had left by a side door in order to avoid being seen and made her escape through the walled garden and out into a lane that led through the earl’s estate to the village. Once there she could find her way to the staging inn and then… Roxanne choked back her tears and looked about her.
The lane had come to an end. She must either cross over a stile and a meadow, which appeared to be filled with cows and what she thought might be a bull, or go through the wood. She’d imagined the way across the field would lead her to the village, but now she knew she was lost. Hesitating, she avoided the meadow and the bull, which was eyeing her in a way that she preferred not to challenge. If she kept walking, the wood must lead somewhere and eventually she would find a main road or a village where she could ask the way.
She had been walking in the cool shadow of the wood for some twenty minutes or so when she heard something rustling in the undergrowth and then a stick snapped. Someone was close by. She turned her head, eager to find whoever it was and enquire the way, and then something struck her on the side of the head and everything went black.
‘Fool,’ the voice said as a pair of strong arms caught her as she fell. ‘His Highness will be angry if you’ve harmed her. He gave orders that she was to be taken, but not harmed. May the goddess protect her and keep her from harm.’
Roxanne heard nothing of the argument that ensued, nor was she aware of being carried through the wood to where a closed carriage and four horses awaited. Although she was treated with respect after the first crashing blow, she had no knowledge of what was happening to her, her eyes closed and her face pale as the darkness held her mind.
‘What does she say?’ Luke asked as he watched the earl open his letter and read its contents. Discovering that no one had seen Roxanne, he had found the letter on the salver in the hall and taken it at once to his grandfather. ‘Has she gone away? Has she left me? I think she left nothing for me.’
‘What on earth did you say to her?’ Hartingdon handed him the letter after skimming its contents. ‘You have a careless tongue, but this was more than a harsh word, Luke. She begs my pardon for breaking her promise and regrets she must leave—though she promises to let me know how she is and to visit often if I wish it. Damn it, why does she need to ask? I did not wish her to leave me.’
‘It is my fault. My fault entirely,’ Luke said. ‘Forgive me for hurting you like this, sir. I know you care for Roxanne. I was abominably rude to her and I said things I did not mean in temper.’
‘She said we were very alike,’ the earl grunted. ‘I can imagine what you said, what you thought. You’re a damned fool, Luke. You’ve thrown away your chance of happiness, boy. Couldn’t you see that she was perfect for you? She loved you.’
‘I know, at least I thought…’ Luke caught his breath as the pain knifed through him. ‘It was fear of her love that made me cruel, sir. I didn’t want to do to her what my father did to my mother. I was afraid of hurting her, of breaking her fine spirit—and I’ve done just that, haven’t I?’
‘Your mother should never have married,’ the earl said. ‘I loved her, but she was a foolish silly girl and your father needed a woman with passion in her bones to help him forget. I should never have pushed them into marriage.’
Luke’s brows knit in a frown. ‘Help him forget—what? I do not understand you, sir.’
‘Your father married on the rebound, Luke. As a young man he was very much in love. Your mother liked him when they first met at a society ball, but he didn’t look at her that night. He was in love with Helene Digby, the woman he planned to wed, but she died of a sudden and terrible fever. I believe your father was with her, held her in his arms as she died. He never truly recovered from her death. A love like that comes but once in a lifetime.’
‘My father was in love like that—really, deeply in love? I thought him a shallow fellow given to affairs and not capable of love.’ Luke stared in disbelief, his memories in disarray.
‘He loved too deeply, that was his trouble,’ the earl said. ‘When I coerced him into marrying my daughter he told me that he couldn’t love her. I thought it an ideal marriage for my silly girl. She would live here with me, give me an heir for the estate, and her husband would go his own way. My silly Sarah couldn’t let him go. She didn’t truly enjoy the physical
