what she had, but she demanded too much of him.’
‘Good grief.’ Luke sat down heavily, his legs going weak as the shock went through him. ‘I had no idea. All these years I’ve thought…’
‘You thought you were shallow and worthless and I let you believe it. Instead of appreciating your qualities, I drove you away, blaming you for what your father did to my silly girl. It wasn’t his fault and it certainly wasn’t yours, Luke. I don’t believe you take after either of them. You’re like me—Roxanne knew it instinctively and she loved us both.’
It was like a light breaking over him, the realisation that he loved Roxanne with all his heart. Tortured by his memories that were false and seen through the eyes of a child, who did not understand what was happening between his parents, he had fought against his love for her. When he realised there was no longer a reason to hold her to her promise, he had lashed out in fear and despair, driving her away.
What had he done? All he had ever secretly longed for and needed had been within his grasp and he had thrown it away.
‘I am a crass fool and I have to pray that she will forgive me.’
‘She might if you can find her,’ the earl said and frowned. ‘You rode to the village and enquired, but no one had seen her?’
‘One of the gardeners thought he saw her in the lane that leads to the meadow where the cows are. If she’d crossed that, she would have come out on the high road and followed the signs to the east, but there is also the wood and if she took that route she might end up on the road north.’
‘Where would she go?’
Luke moved his shoulders negatively. ‘She was heading for London when I first met her…’
‘You must find her,’ the earl said urgently. ‘Don’t blame yourself for the whole, Luke. I made her promise not to tell you that I knew the truth. I am as much to blame as you are in this.’
‘No, sir. Roxanne certainly didn’t run away from you. I’m the one that hurt her. I intend to find her, however long it takes me, and when I do I shall beg her to return, but it may be too late. Some things are unforgivable and, in truth, I do not deserve her forgiveness.’
‘I think she may give it,’ the earl said and smiled at him. ‘You haven’t yet realised how lucky you are, Luke. Roxanne is a wonderful and very loving person. You must find her because if you do not you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Luke said. ‘I think I must travel to London. Will you forgive me for leaving you at such a time?’
‘I’m not going to die just yet, boy,’ the earl said. ‘Find Roxanne and bring her back for all our sakes.’
Luke smiled oddly. ‘I promise I shall leave no stone unturned, sir, but for the moment it seems that she has disappeared into thin air.’
‘That isn’t possible, Luke. Roxanne was on foot. It would have taken her hours to walk anywhere.’
‘Unless…’ Luke shook his head. He would not distress the earl yet by suggesting that she might have been kidnapped. Somehow Roxanne had avoided detection, but he would find her if it took him the rest of his life.
Roxanne stirred and moaned, turning her head on the soft pillow. She was dreaming and tears were on her cheeks as she cried out, ‘Mama, please don’t leave us. Papa, why must she die? I want Mama, I want my mother…’
‘Your mother is dying of a fever. Her heart is not strong enough to fight it. You should blame me, child. I should never have brought you both out here to this dreadful climate. It is my fault, but you shall not fall victim to this accursed place, as she did. I shall take you home to your aunt.’
‘Mama…please don’t leave us. Mama…’
‘Hush, memsahib,’ a soft voice said and gentle hands stroked her brow. ‘You are ill, but you will be better soon.’
‘Mama is dying…’ Roxanne’s eyes flicked opened and she saw a face, the face of her nurse. The Indian woman was kind and loving and she was comforted. ‘Mama is so ill.’
‘That was long ago, little one. Rest now and when you wake you will be well again.’
Roxanne closed her eyes as the soft hands stroked her forehead and she smelled the exotic perfume of flowers and spices.
The dream was changing. She was in a different place and someone was saying she must die. Now she was lost…running from something…someone. Her uncle wanted her father’s ruby, the precious jewel Papa had asked her to keep for him until he returned from India. Her uncle had demanded that she give it to him, telling her that she could not look after it properly.
‘No…’ she cried out. ‘Please help me. He will kill me…he wants Papa’s ruby.’
A cool dark hand touched her brow and a woman’s beautiful, dusky-skinned face appeared through the mist for a moment.
‘Do not fret, little mistress,’ the woman’s soft musical voice soothed her. ‘You are safe now. My lord is angry they hurt you so. He will not let more harm come to you. Rest now and sleep.’
‘My uncle…he wants the ruby,’ Roxanne moaned, her eyelids fluttering as the words came tumbling out. She clutched at the bedclothes with restless hands. ‘My aunt said she would steal it while I slept, but he said it would be best if I were dead. He says they will tell my father I died of a fever and the ruby was lost. I must get away…I must get away…’
‘Hush, little one. You are safe now.’
‘No…Luke, I want Luke…’ Roxanne’s cheeks were wet with tears as the fever raged through her. ‘Please, ask him to come to me. I need him so…’ She was sobbing, tossing restlessly on the pillow, her long hair damp and clinging to her forehead.
‘The memsahib is very ill,’ another voice said. ‘Those fools hit her too hard. If she dies, the lord will be angry and he will punish them harshly. She must drink this medicine; it may ease her. She must live or all will be lost. Without her to help us, the ruby may never be recovered and our people will continue to suffer.’
‘Give me the cup,’ the woman’s soft voice said. ‘I will get her to swallow your potion, honourable doctor, but she is wandering in her mind and she may not remember where the ruby is or even her own name.’
‘It is in the hands of the gods,’ the doctor said. ‘I shall pray for her life, for if she gives back what was stolen our people may prosper again.’
‘Help me…’ Roxanne cried. ‘Sofia…help me. Papa, why do you not come back to me? I need you…I need you so.’
‘Drink this and it will ease you.’ The woman’s soft voice was close to her ear and gentle hands stroked her face.
Roxanne gave a cry of fear. ‘They are searching for me. I’m so hungry and thirsty. I want Papa…if they find me they will kill me.’
‘No one will
