to quickly get back into her clothes, that she’d realized she was making a mistake.
Love shouldn’t feel like this, she thought as she turned into the garage of her town house. She parked her car and went inside.
Love should be something to be celebrated and shared. And for so long she was used to her love for Lance being her dirty little secret. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d allowed that to become the rule for their relationship. She’d been used to hiding it and had allowed herself to be hidden.
The last week had been wonderful but she realized tonight that she wanted more.
She looked at the bracelet he’d given her. She knew that he didn’t think less of her than he did before. But she had no idea what he really wanted from her. Did he just want to continue their affair until it ran its course?
And was she willing to keep working for him—and sleeping with him?
That was the problem with being a modern woman, she thought. The lines in these situations were blurred. And she didn’t know which way to turn.
She turned the air-conditioner down and walked through the house to the shower. She washed, wishing she could wipe away the memories of Lance’s body inside of hers, of that closeness that they’d had together for too short a time.
She put on a sundress and walked through her home. She’d decorated it with antiques that she and her mom had found in Canton up near Dallas, and with photos of her family. But there was nothing that was really hers in it, much like the new clothing had been window dressing for a person she wanted to be. This house was what she’d always imagined a city girl would have.
But she’d never made that city girl’s life her own. Now she wanted to. No, she needed to if she had even the slightest hope of surviving this love she had for Lance.
She didn’t know the depth of her love for him before this month. Now she loved the way he smiled at her when no one else could see them. She loved the way he went out of his way to surprise her and she loved the way he made her feel like she was it—the only woman in the world that he wanted to see and spend time with.
And that kind of love… well, it wasn’t going to go away. So she had to figure this out. Could she continue her affair with him while he was still engaged?
There was a knock on her door an hour later and she knew who it was without even looking through the peephole.
She unlocked the door and opened it, but stood in the doorway. “Lance.”
“Can I come in?”
She tipped her head to the side, considering it. He’d been to her place once before but never as her lover. All of their trysts—what an old-fashioned word, she thought—had taken place at Lance’s.
She decided to let him in. Obviously they needed to talk. “Sure. Is everything okay with the investigation?”
“Yes. Mr. Martin was getting some restless employees at the fire scene one he needed me to keep them clear.”
She led the way into her living room and heard him close the front door behind him. She sat down in the Kennedy rocker that had been her grandmother’s and took a sip of lemonade.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“A beer would be great,” Lance said. She noticed he had the picnic basket in his hands. “Have you eaten?”
“No, I haven’t,” she said.
“I’ll set this up while you go get my beer. I am starved. It has been a really long day.”
“Yes, it has,” Kate said. Sleeping with the boss took a lot out of her. She didn’t like the way that sounded—even to herself. She found a Coors Light in the fridge and brought it out to Lance. He smiled at her as he took it.
He took a long draw from the bottle, then set it on the coaster on the coffee table.
The food he’d put out was a cold pasta and chicken salad. It was exactly the kind of dinner she liked on a hot July night and she didn’t kid herself that Lance hadn’t planned it that way.
He was a man who noticed things.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said, as she sat down beside him on the couch and picked up her fork.
Kate steered the conversation to work and to Mitch, who was due back from DC by the end of the week. She did her level best to make sure that they didn’t have a chance to talk about her confession of love.
But then they finished their meal and Lance leaned back against the couch, stretching his long arms along the back of it. “So you love me?”
Lance had thought of nothing else during his drive over to her place. No woman had ever told him she loved him. And that included his fiancée and his mother. He wasn’t a man who went out searching for the softer things in life. He took what he wanted and let the devil take the rest.
But he wanted Kate’s love.
Now that she’d said she loved him, he wanted to hear her say it again. And he wanted to take her and have her say it while he was buried hilt deep in her sexy little body.
“I… yes, I do love you, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to just let you walk all over me.”
“I didn’t think for a moment that it did. Actually I have no idea what it means.”
“What are you saying?”
“Just that love isn’t something I’ve had a lot of experience with.”
“Well, you’re the only guy I’ve ever loved so I guess neither of us knows much about this,” she said.
But Kate knew love better than Lance did. He knew she’d come from the kind of family that people liked to complain about but was filled with love.
“And I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” Kate said.
“Why not?”
“Because love shouldn’t be one-sided. It’s not healthy.”
“Listen, Kate, I’m not about to promise you something I can’t deliver.” Losing Kate wasn’t something he was prepared to do. Having had her, he didn’t know if he’d ever be ready to let her walk out the door.
“I appreciate that, Lance. But I have to do what’s healthy for me, too. I just can’t keep loving a man who never puts me first.”
“That’s not fair. I’ve put you first.”
“Yes, but in the privacy of your office or your home,” Kate said quietly.
She was tired of being hidden from the world, which suited him fine—he got that. But he didn’t want Kate to think she could manipulate him into doing whatever she wanted. It was important to him that she let him take the lead in their relationship.
“What can I say?”
She bit her lip and then leaned
