much it hurt to see what his life might have been like if he hadn’t learned from his father’s weakness.
Nathaniel didn’t want to be weak. He didn’t want the responsibility of a spouse and children. His life had been rumbling along just fine. Why in the devil had he let himself fall prey to feelings that were nothing more than syrupy commercialism?
Holiday music and Christmas lights and good food were nothing more than a Band-Aid covering the world’s ills. Come Monday, everyone’s life would be as good or as bad as it ever was. Nathaniel was guided by reason and pragmatism. Those qualities in his leadership style had helped make New Century Tech prosper.
Doggedly, he ignored the sick lump of dread in his stomach. He went to the kitchen, cut a piece of the beautiful pecan pie, topped it with a swirl of whipped cream and returned to the dining room to eat his dessert in solitary splendor. After several minutes, he placed his fork on the empty plate and rested his elbows on the table, head in his hands.
Damn it, the pie was good. Downright amazing. The pecans had a crunchy glaze and the filling was sweet but not too sweet. If you wanted to know what happiness and love tasted like, this was it.
The condo was as quiet as a winter snowfall. Nathaniel had spent at least half a dozen December 24ths alone during his adult life, maybe a few more. But tonight—this very moment—was the first time he had ever noticed something was missing on Christmas Eve.
His outburst drained him. Dani’s stricken response excoriated him. He felt raw, his emotions exposed for all the world to see. It wouldn’t have mattered so much except that he valued Dani’s good opinion.
Moving quietly, he cleared the table and set about cleaning up the kitchen. It was only fair. He hadn’t helped with meal preparations. Truthfully, though, the reason for his efforts was more about delaying consequences than it was having a tidy home.
His brain whirred, jumping from thought to thought like a hound dog chasing butterflies in a meadow. What had he done? For that matter, what was he doing now? If Peaches were really his daughter, what did the future hold for him?
In forty-five minutes, every pot and pan and plate and bowl was out of sight. Countertops gleamed. It was easy enough to restore a kitchen to its original state. Unfortunately, the harsh words he had served Dani were far more difficult to put back in the box.
First things first. He picked up his phone and sent a text.
It’s late. I’m coming to your room to get Peaches.
Dani’s response was quick and terse.
No. She’s asleep. You had her last night. My turn.
Nathaniel sent two more texts insisting that he be the one to deal with the baby, but there was no response at all. Either Dani had turned off her phone, or she was ignoring him. He couldn’t bring himself to knock on her door. She deserved her privacy.
After half-heartedly watching TV for a couple of hours, he headed to his own room, intending to read. He’d bought the latest medical thriller by an author he admired. That should distract him from his jumbled thoughts.
Unfortunately, all he could focus on was the image of Dani. By now he had memorized everything about her. The low, husky music of her laugh. The way her blue eyes changed from light and sparkly to navy and mysterious. The graceful way she moved.
As the night waned, he dozed only in snatches. The silence in the house became oppressive. Was Dani okay? Was Peaches? Were both females sound asleep? He’d never experienced the wakefulness of being responsible for another human being.
Actually, that wasn’t true. Long ago, during a time he tried to forget, this same stomach-curling worry had been his from time to time. Whenever his father had gone out of town on business, he always reminded Nathaniel to keep an eye on your mother.
Nathaniel had never really understood what he was watching out for. He only knew that his mother was not like his friends’ moms. Those women baked cookies and sat on the bleachers at T-ball games. Nathaniel’s mother mostly ignored him. When she did focus on his hapless self, her tendency was to smother him with adoration that held a marked tinge of frantic desperation and mania.
As much as he had craved her attention as a boy, he learned early on that it was better for the family dynamic when she didn’t notice him.
His thoughts drifted back to Dani. She was warm and nurturing and so completely natural with Peaches. Not one echo of disapproval or reluctance marked the way she related to the baby. Even if she thought Nathaniel was a cold bastard for ignoring his own child up until now, she never voiced her concern. He had no idea if she believed him or not when he said the infant wasn’t his.
What if he were wrong?
The mental struggles kept on coming. In the wee hours of Christmas morning, Nathaniel faced an unpalatable truth—the real reason he had created such an unfortunate scene at dinner.
For months now, he had been deeply attracted to his executive assistant. The only way he had been able to manage his unfortunate response to her was to pretend she was part of the office furnishings. Maintaining the status quo meant he was the boss and Dani an extremely valued employee.
The blizzard, along with Ophelia’s dramatic stunt, had upset the balance in Nathaniel’s life. At this point, he doubted whether the tide could be turned again. Dani was funny, compassionate...a real, breathing woman living beneath his roof. He liked her scent and the messy knot she fashioned to keep her hair out of her face. He loved the way her generous curves filled out his boring dress shirts.
Seeing her in his clothes was gut-level sexy. Like a film star in a magazine caught on camera in her own backyard, Dani was just Dani. No artifice. No mask to hide behind. No attempt to impress.
Nathaniel was very much afraid he was infatuated with her, maybe worse.
As he lay there in the dark, battling emotions he had kept locked away for so long, his chest ached and his eyes burned. Damn Ophelia. Damn the storm. If things hadn’t gotten all jacked up, perhaps he could gradually have tested the waters with Dani.
Instead, here they were, thrust together in a faux environment. His sex hardened and his breathing grew ragged. What would it be like to take her here in his bed? Did she even have a boyfriend?
It stunned him to realize he didn’t know the answer to that question. In the midst of his fantasies lay the grim realization he was probably the last person on the planet to whom Dani Meadows would turn for a relationship.
In little more than a week, they would both be back at New Century Tech, hard at work, each easing into familiar roles. Could he bear it? After having her here, just down the hall, would he be able to treat her like an employee again?
At 3:00 a.m., he climbed out of bed. He was only torturing himself by trying to sleep. In his sock feet, he tiptoed down the hall and listened at the guest room door. Not a sound emanated from within, though a tiny strip of light showed underneath the door.
He tapped quietly. “Dani. Are you awake?”
No answer. Any one of a number of possibilities came to mind. Dani might have fallen asleep exhausted and left a light on unintentionally. Or perhaps it was on so she could check the baby easily.
He shouldn’t open the door. Every rule or law of hospitality expressly forbade it. Not to mention the fact that
