so far to look at him, it ruined the effect.
“Sarah Beth says her uncle takes her to Dairy Queen on Sundays.” Amber crossed her arms over her chest.
“We put little girls to work out here.” Sam matched her pose and didn’t seem as if he would budge an inch.
“If I work, do I get Dairy Queen?” She raised her eyebrow.
“If you do your job and don’t complain, I can see what we can do.” Sam couldn’t possibly mean for Amber to do chores. The type of chores they used to do as boys were too much for a little girl.
“She’s only—” Brady protested.
“I don’t do windows,” Amber said with all the calm of a seasoned negotiator. Brady had seen corporate negotiators with less talent.
“Neither do I. Do we have a deal?” Sam held out his hand.
She took it and shook it once. “A deal.”
“Sam, you can’t use my kid as child labor.” Brady couldn’t help but feel betrayed. He’d brought Amber out here to play not to be put to work.
“A promise is a promise, Daddy.” Amber smiled at Brady before turning to Sam. “What do you want me to do?”
“This is insane.” Brady threw up his hands.
“The baby lambs need to be fed. First, we need to go warm the milk and bottle it.” Sam started toward the house and Amber followed. “Then we go out to the barn and feed them. Think you can handle that?”
“Yup.”
Brady stood in the driveway with the two dogs. He couldn’t help but wonder what had just happened. Since when did Sam hang out with kids? And how did he manage to make Amber feel needed by giving her something she would have done, anyway?
“You let Amber go with Brady out to the farm?” Penny pushed the bowl of chips closer to Maggie. “You need these more than I do.”
“I can’t keep spending time with him. I almost had sex with him last night.” Maggie slouched on the couch. The TV buzzed with a repeat of a show about house hunting in the background. Neither of them were watching it, but it seemed natural to have it on.
“Whoa, back up the bus, lady.” Penny sat up on her knees from her curled position in the corner. “What do you mean almost?”
“Amber had a nightmare and then we all ended up sleeping in my bed. It was so freaking domestic, it was scary.” There had been part of her that had been grateful that she hadn’t been the only one carrying the burden of Amber’s fears.
“Okay, we’ll deal with that in a minute.” Penny hit the off button on the remote. “Let’s talk sex.”
“It was nothing.” Why she’d felt the need to confess, especially to Penny, she’d never know.
“That bad, huh?” Penny patted Maggie’s knee sympathetically.
“No.” Maggie couldn’t seem to stop herself. Maybe Penny could sort out this mess. “It would be easy just to have sex. The tension is there. All. The. Time. I know now that he won’t leave Amber because of my stupidity, but I think I want it to be more than it was before.”
“You mean more than just sex?” Penny relaxed against the corner. Her forehead crinkled as she tapped a finger to her lips thoughtfully. If she’d come to a conclusion, she kept it to herself.
“Yes, more than sex. More than hey, you’re my baby’s daddy, why don’t we knock boots.” Maggie pulled the elastic from her hair and straightened her ponytail before slipping the elastic back on it.
“That’s a good one. Knocking boots.” Penny raised her eyebrow and quirked her lips into a smile.
“I’m afraid.” Maggie put the bowl on the coffee table and stood. All this energy pulsed through her.
“You’re always afraid.”
“What?” Maggie hadn’t expected Penny to say that.
“Think of everything you’ve been through.” Penny ticked each thing off on her fingers like a grocery list. “Your father left, your mother’s cancer, your unexpected pregnancy. We both know that it was awfully suspicious when Sam dropped off the money the first time. But the fact is, you were afraid of Brady then and you are afraid of Brady now. Because you love him.”
Maggie’s heart felt as if it was going to crumble into bits in her chest. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Why doesn’t it matter, Maggie?” Penny finally stood. “Because the Brown women never get what they want? Because your mother couldn’t make your deadbeat father stay? Because you’re afraid to love anyone who isn’t obligated to love you back?”
A touch of anger scorched the pity party happening in her body. “I love you. And you aren’t obligated to love me.”
“But I’ve always been there.” Penny flipped her red hair. “And you have no reason to believe I’m going anywhere. But Brady is only obligated to Amber.”
Tears welled in Maggie’s eyes. “But what if he feels obligated to me because of her? What if everything he thinks he feels for me is only because of her? He doesn’t love me. I would know it.”
Penny grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table and held it out to Maggie. “How would you know? You are so blind you couldn’t even tell you’ve been holding out for Brady for the past eight years.”
“That’s not true—”
“Really?” Penny narrowed her eyes. “Not one date—a date, Maggie—has been good enough for you since you found out you were pregnant. You hid behind your mom’s illness and then your daughter. It’s time to stop hiding, Maggie.”
Maggie breathed in deep. Everything Penny said touched at the heart of the matter.
“What happens if you put yourself out there?” Penny grabbed Maggie’s hand. “What happens if you sleep with Brady and he doesn’t want you anymore? It’d be freaking awkward for a while, but you’d get over it and so would he. But what if he wants you?”
That feeling of drowning came upon her quickly. She’d felt it before when she’d found out about her mother’s cancer. Overwhelmed, confused, but she’d found clarity in one moment. One moment that had cost her. A night with Brady Ward. It had been impulsive and she’d paid for it. She would never regret her daughter. Amber was her life.
“I keep asking the same question, but you never give me the right answer.” Penny sat on the couch and grabbed the bowl of chips before resuming her position in the corner.
“What’s the answer, then?” Maggie wanted this to be over.
“The worst thing that could happen is that you could never try to be with the man you’ve loved since high school. That you let him go because you are too scared to find out that he might love you, too.”
