“Come to New York with me. You and Amber. We’ll find a good school for her.”
She started to pull her hand away.
“We don’t have to sleep together. I can find a bigger place, if you want. But I can’t deny that I want to be with you. To see where this thing between us can go. Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Brady could almost see the shutters shut over her eyes as she closed him out.
“Curious?” Maggie finally pulled her hand back. Touching him did funny things to her brain. Made her hear things that surely Brady hadn’t said.
“Amber would be better off with two parents who loved her, right?” Brady’s blue eyes turned calculating.
“I’m not denying that Amber needs both of us. But New York is far away…” Would it be so bad to go with him? To stop hiding like Penny thought she was doing?
“We’d be there together. I can help both of you through the transition.” Brady reached across the table but she pulled her hands into her lap.
Something was wrong with what he was saying. If he touched her, she wouldn’t be able to figure out what it was. Everything he said was what she wanted to hear. Almost everything.
“What happens when we don’t want to be together?” Maggie folded her arms across her chest. “What if all we have is a shared past, a child and lust? What if that isn’t enough?”
What if she wanted love?
“It’s a start, isn’t it?” Brady straightened. “We don’t have to decide anything tonight. You can take a few days to think it through. I want you and Amber with me, Maggie.”
“We’re supposed to leave Tawnee Valley and everything we’ve ever known to run off to New York and start over?” Maggie couldn’t wrap her head around it. “Where would I work? What if things didn’t work out? I couldn’t support Amber and me in New York.”
“Think it over. Please, Maggie. The one regret I have is not knowing what you were going through.” Brady held up his hand to get the waitress’s attention. “Let’s go somewhere and talk. Not here, okay?”
She nodded. He hadn’t offered her love. Not even marriage. Even though she had pushed it aside for years, she wanted the whole package. A man who loved her. A marriage that would last until they were old and gray.
He wasn’t offering that. He was offering her a maybe. Maybe this could grow into something, but what if it didn’t? What if he never loved her the way she loved him?
Before she knew it, they were in his car parked outside her house. Neither of them made a move to leave the car. His fingers curled around the steering wheel.
“Would you tell me what happened during those years?” Brady didn’t look at her but stared ahead with his head resting against the car seat.
She undid her belt and shifted in the bucket seat until she was comfortable. “Do you want the long story or the short?”
“Whatever you are willing to tell me.” Brady dropped his hands into his lap and turned his head to her. “You’re an amazing mother. Any fool could see that. But I know that wasn’t your only struggle. I want to know you, Maggie. Not the brave facade you put on for the rest of the world, but you.”
She breathed in deep. How much should she tell him? What did he really want to know? “I found out about my mother’s cancer a month before graduation. I think I was still in shock by graduation. I canceled my college plans including the scholarship I’d worked hard to get. My friends were leaving, and all I could do was hope that treatment worked for my mom. While they were going off to begin their lives, I was staying behind to save hers.”
“We don’t always get a choice.” Brady held out his hand and she took it. “Knowing someone might die is difficult.”
“At the party, I wanted something I could have control over. I wanted to find out if the guy I had a crush on for as long as I could remember might possibly want me, too.” She smiled softly in the dark, remembering the fanciful, romantic thoughts she’d felt that night.
“And then you found me?”
She squeezed his hand. “I went searching for you. All I could think was how this might be the last time I did something for me. Something entirely selfish. Something I’d wanted for so long.”
His thumb stroked over the back of her hand. In the weak streetlights, she caught his gaze.
“You were leaving. I knew it was a one-time thing. I wasn’t trying to trap or trick you.”
“I know.” Brady’s low baritone sent shivers down her spine.
“I found out I was pregnant when I was as sick as my mother after her therapy. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want you to think I did it on purpose. I didn’t want you to think I needed you. So I wrote a damned letter.” She laughed self-deprecatingly. “A letter I hoped you never received. But when Sam brought me money, I didn’t question anything.”
His fingers tightened on hers, but he stayed quiet.
“We needed the money. I wanted to believe you were that type of guy. The guy who thought throwing money at a problem made it go away. Because it would be easier to lose you if I never had you. I knew what Mom had gone through with my dad and I was scared.” She used her other hand to wipe away a tear that slipped out.
“Amber was born. Mom went into remission. Things were good for a while. When Mom got sick again, we had a rough year and then it was over. She was gone.”
“And you were alone again.” He reached out and brushed another tear from her cheek. His hand cupped her cheek, making her feel cherished.
“Amber and I carried on. The end.” If only it had been that easy. If only it hadn’t been a constant struggle for her.
“You’re a wonderful person, Maggie.” His soft words startled her.
She searched his eyes for the hidden meaning behind his words. “I kept you from your daughter for eight years and you think I’m wonderful?”
“You were protecting yourself and Amber.” Brady touched his forehead to hers. “We all run away sometimes. In our own ways.”
He was right. She hadn’t run away physically but she had emotionally. Too afraid that the voices telling her he would hate her would be true. Too afraid that he didn’t want Amber.
Now he wanted them both to go to New York with him. She’d never considered that he’d want them as a package deal. She’d never considered that he would want them at all.
Could he learn to love her? She pressed her lips to his. The brief touch sent warmth throughout her body. She loved him. Maybe not when she’d been eighteen, but the man he was now, the one she’d gotten to know over the past week. In all her life, she’d never loved anyone the way she loved Brady. He made her think. He made her laugh. He made her sigh with pleasure. He made her feel as if everything would be okay as long as he was in her life.
“Let’s go inside,” she whispered. The decision for New York could wait
