want to like. ‘I need to give the car a run,’ Nick explained when he offered to pick her up, ‘or the battery will go flat.’
‘I’ll see.’ She gave him a thin smile. ‘I just need to…’ She didn’t bother to explain, in fact she didn’t have to explain, Alison realised, didn’t have to tell him about every beat of her heart. ‘I’ll let you know.’
She caught up with Ellie at the bus stop. ‘Thanks a lot.’ Alison gave her friend a wry smile. ‘I was actually trying to get away back there!’
‘Then you’re mad!’ Ellie said. ‘He’s gorgeous, he’s nice and from the way he’s always looking at you or, oh, so casually asks “Who’s on a late today?” or “Who’s on in the morning?” and loses interest after it gets to your name, I think we can all safely assume he likes you. Lucky thing.’
‘Hardly—he’s only here for a few weeks.’
‘So?’ Ellie gave her an odd look.
‘There’s just no point.’
‘Well, I suppose there’s no point if you’re looking for a husband.’ Ellie let out a laugh. ‘I don’t get you, Alison. He’s gorgeous. You were saying the other week you wanted some fun and adventure, and now it’s handed to you on a plate.’
She wished, how she wished she could be more like Ellie, could see only the positives, but all Alison could see was a sure-fire recipe for hurt and she told Ellie so.
‘I like him,’ she admitted. ‘I could see myself really liking him.’
‘So go for it.’
‘You know what Mum’s like,’ Alison said. ‘Once I’ve got my own place.’
Ellie just laughed. ‘How did you survive your teens? I mean, before…’ Yes, Ellie laughed at most things, but her voice did trail off then. She genuinely liked Rose and knew all Alison had been through.
‘Tim was the one who was always in trouble.’ Alison could smile at the memory now. ‘I used to just say I was staying at a friend’s if I wanted to go out.’
‘Do that, then.’ Ellie shrugged. ‘Till you get your own place, say you’re staying at mine. Anyway, by then you might find out that he’s the most crushing bore, or walk in to find him dressed in your underwear and stilettos. Go out and have some fun, for God’s sake.he doesn’t have to be “the one” to enjoy him.’
Ellie was right.
Alison stepped off the bus and instead of heading for home she walked on the beach, sensible shoes in hand. She felt the sand between her toes, and the sun warming her back, tasted the salt on her lips and felt the wind in her hair, and for the first time in years she tasted adventure, for the first time in so long Alison felt just a little bit free.
She’d yearned for adventure, escape, and Nick was just that.
Nick didn’t need to know all of her—Nick didn’t need to know that the nights out and kisses on the beach were rarities.
She could do this, Alison told herself, walking past the very spot where they had lain. She could throw caution to the wind, could be the woman her body was begging her to be, could close her mind to the pitfalls and problems and for once just enjoy.
But how? the sensible part of her mind asked. When even staying out after midnight required the stealth and ability to lie like a teenager to her mum. Surely the last thing Nick needed from a holiday romance was the crush of her problems landing in his lap.
Why should she put herself through it?
Because you want to.
Nick’s voice seemed to carry on the wind, echoing her own thoughts, and she did want to.
And surely she could handle it?
She was far too serious about things, Alison conceded. It didn’t have to be for ever to be worthwhile.
Around 10:30 if you can still make it.
She held her breath and sent the text and then held it again till he replied: Great.
And Ellie was right again.
She didn’t want to lie to her mum, she didn’t want to have to lie to her mum, but she did enjoy having him in her life.
And he could never be boring. As for Ellie’s other suggestion, well, the thought made her laugh.
Right there at the barbecue that evening, as she cut herself a slice of pavlova, she let out a little laugh so, yes, she did enjoy having him in her life, even when he wasn’t there.
As she stood, chatting to her uncles and aunts, there was an inner glow in knowing that she would see him tomorrow, just this extra smile as she described the flat to her uncle Ken, because she’d seen it with Nick.
‘I’m going to look at furniture tomorrow,’ Alison said as her mum came over. ‘I want to look at desks.’
‘I might come along,’ Rose replied. ‘I was thinking of getting some bar stools for the kitchen bench. Are you taking Tim’s car?’
It was one of the reasons she rarely drove; the car would always be Tim’s. Her mother wouldn’t part with it, insisted Alison use it, then got teary when she did.
‘Actually, Nick’s taking me.’
‘Nick?’ Ken smiled, pleased to see his favourite niece not just with a sparkle in her eyes but gently standing up to his sister-in-law.
‘A friend from work,’ Alison said, smiling back at her uncle.
And friends dropped around and friends were asked in.
‘Mum, this is Nick.’
Alison tried very hard to treat him as if it were Ellie or Moira or just any friend coming in on Saturday morning before they headed out for a shopping expedition. Rose did the same as Alison finished getting ready, offering him a cup of tea, which Nick accepted, and chatting to him about the hospital and about England and how she and her late husband had wanted to take a trip around Europe when they retired.
‘So you’re just here for a couple of months, then?’ Alison heard her mum saying as she walked into the kitchen.
‘That’s the plan.’ Nick nodded. ‘I’ve got a cousin in New Zealand who’s getting married.’ Nick was pleasant and polite, and from the way he chatted he was in no rush to head out—in fact, he even accepted Rose’s offer of some toast and ginger marmalade.
‘Alison can’t stand it,’ Rose said as Alison rolled her eyes. ‘It was Tim’s favourite.’
‘Tim?’ Nick said as the air in Alison’s chest stopped moving.
‘My son,’ Rose said, and thankfully Nick didn’t push. But his eyes swept past her a couple of times to the endless photos on the mantelpiece and when Alison went to her bedroom to find a missing shoe, it came as no surprise when Rose followed her.
‘What
