you are wondering how on earth I can eat at a time like this. For some reason, women always seem to find it abnormal that men can eat in times of duress.” He took a few more bites, laid down his fork and carried his coffee back to the chair before the fire. He continued in the same vein. “Secondly, you are wondering why I am being so blasé about this affair.”
Her mouth opened in surprise and then she shut it and took up pacing again.
He chuckled.
“Very well, my lord, you excel at mind reading. Perhaps you also know sleight of hand and can make our circumstances disappear?” she quipped sarcastically.
“My dear, you are certainly not dull, which is fortunate. I abhor dull women.” He crossed his legs before saying, “Shall we calmly talk this through?”
“Yes. We need to come to some kind of decision before we reach London tomorrow. This cannot tarnish Lydia in any way. If you think a temporary betrothal is the only way to accomplish that, then I will agree. But a broken engagement must be included in the plan.”
“Lady Grace, much of my fear was dispelled when you indicated your wish to be rid of me. I am thankful that you do not want this marriage, either, though to be honest, I do fear that when you get to London and find out what a coup it is for you, you might well change your mind.” He said it with a straight face, and watched as she stared at him, stunned. Then she laughed despite herself—just as he’d intended.
“Humble, too, I see. You may consider marriage to you a coup, but I do not.”
“No, Grace, I do not consider myself a prize. I was speaking of the fortune hunters and title seekers. Oh, and their mothers, of course.” He did not want her to see the bitterness he felt at that part of his life, so he finished with flair. “Now fathers, they are a different story altogether!”
This time she did not take the bait.
“Despite the prize,” she went on, “I have no desire to be married to you or anyone else. I am perfectly content running my father’s estate and household. This Season is for my sister. You need not fear I will back out of any agreement we come to on breaking our ties.”
“The problem, my dear, is that we cannot go to London tomorrow and immediately cry off. With the Marchmont harpies spreading their tales, it would only add to the gossip surrounding you and your sister. I believe we shall have to play along for some period of time.”
He smiled at her. “Believe it or not, if you think about it for a moment, our betrothal may even benefit both of us, for as long as it stands.”
She looked at him with furrowed brows. “My lord, it will be a lie. Whether it benefits us or not, I cannot live a lie before all of London.”
“Grace, it is not a lie. We are engaged.” He wondered if he wished to convince himself as much as her.
Before she began an indignant reply, he put up his hand to stop her. “Hear me out. I do have entrées into some of the highest circles of the haute ton, despite my reputation, which could be of help to you and your sister. And, being already betrothed, I need have no fear of the matchmaking mamas. It may surprise you, I know, but there are more than enough people in Town who dislike me. When you do jilt me, you will be considered quite the heroine!” He looked at her with a decided twinkle in his eye. “I know it is hard to believe, but there it is.”
“How absurd you are. Are you never serious?”
His whole manner changed. “I am being quite serious now. I will not mislead you, my dear—my reputation as a rake is well earned. Though my position carries with it some advantages, there will be many who will want to put you on your guard with stories about me, and a few who will give you the cut direct for your connection to me.”
“I see. Hmm, a rake who becomes betrothed because he thinks—merely thinks, mind you—that he has compromised a lady, and then warns her about what she will face at his hands? You are a fearsome creature indeed. I am beginning to wonder if you simply enjoy making people think you are a rogue.”
“You have discovered my secret, my lady.”
“Very well, Lord Weston,” she said. “Enough teasing. The engagement is settled, so the only thing left to do is to become acquainted with a few details of our lives. Perhaps we may do that on the journey to London, assuming you will join us in our coach?”
She paused, then looked him in the eyes. “My lord, I am truly sorry for the trouble I have caused you.” The sincerity in her voice was heartfelt.
He turned away from her. He wished he did not have to share this part of his past, but he preferred that she hear it from him. He would ponder the reason for that another time. “You may tell me about your youth while we travel, but I would prefer it if your sister and your maid did not hear about a particular incident from mine. At least, not in my presence. They will hear it soon enough when we are in Town. Truth to tell, I would prefer you not hear it, but some gabster will be only too happy to repeat the story, so you might as well hear it from me.”
Now he was angry, and he could feel the tic in his jaw at the tension and self-chastisement the memory still evoked.
“My lord, it seems to me you have been completely honest with me. You have told me people will cut you, and perhaps me, and you have told me outright that you are a rake. Whatever tattle your enemies wish to share with me will only be part of your past. It was a time in which I played no part. I am in no position to judge you.”
He looked up, astonished at her words and her candor. But they did not negate the responsibility to prepare her to meet with his past. He began his story quickly, wishing it over and done with. “You will hear from my sisters that my father and I never got along. My mother died when I was relatively young, and both of my sisters are older than I am. As his only son, he had high hopes for me. Too high, perhaps. I could never live up to his expectations, so I began to live down to them.
“I finished my education and assumed I would begin to help undertake the duties of my father’s estate. But everything I did was wrong, and I realized he would never respect me. I asked him if he would buy me a commission in the army, something to allow me to feel myself useful. But I was the heir and he refused me even that. Idle and miserable, I left for London and began making the ever present name for myself. My actions tortured my father to distraction.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Finally, I committed the cardinal sin.”
“What happened?” she asked quietly.
“I was two and twenty and I fell in love.” He began pacing the room. “Unfortunately, the lady was already married. She told me she was much younger than her husband and that he treated her cruelly. I decided to save her, and I ran off with her one night.”
He went to the window, even though it was too dark to see out. “Perhaps you will not be surprised that her husband followed and caught us. When she had talked of his advanced age, she failed to mention it was all of four and thirty.” His smile was cynical as he shook his head. “And her idea of cruel was that he had cut off her already excessive dress allowance for the rest of the quarter. But when he challenged me to a duel, I thought I was fighting for my lady’s honor.
“I was the better shot, which it turns out she was counting on. But I did not kill him. When she realized he was not going to die, she told me I had ruined everything. It took me several minutes to understand what she was actually saying. You
