darkness in his eyes throbbed between them. Marianna swallowed. ‘C’mon, then.’ She beckoned with both hands. ‘Pull them out and let me sign them. Then, perhaps, we can enjoy our meal before going our separate ways.’
‘You think that’s why I’m here?’
She arranged her serviette in her lap and then folded her hands on the table. ‘Isn’t it?’
He reached out as if to take her hand, but pulled back to rub his nape instead. Marianna pulled her hands into her lap and glanced away. Looking at him... It was too hard. It hurt all of the sore places inside her.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t react well yesterday. Your news blind-sided me. I was...stunned. In shock.’
That was one way of putting it.
‘At the time I didn’t consider how hard it must’ve been for you to deal with the news all on your own. I’m sorry.’
His apology surprised her.
She grimaced. She hadn’t exactly broached the subject of her pregnancy gently, had she? She’d shot the news at him like a torpedo...and she’d expected him to deal with that with grace? Her brothers would blame it on her flair for the dramatic. The truth of the matter was she’d taken one look at the stranger who’d confronted her yesterday and had panicked.
He had another think coming, though, if he expected her to apologise for that! She seized her cutlery and sliced off a sliver of food, lifting it towards her mouth.
‘What I’m trying to say, Marianna, is that I have no intention of abandoning my child.’
She dropped her knife and fork back to her plate, the morsel untouched. Her heart pounded. ‘And what if you have no say in that?’ He’d said he didn’t want a baby. Ever. She wasn’t letting a man like that anywhere near her child.
He turned grey. ‘Please don’t prevent me from being a part of my child’s life. I know I behaved badly yesterday and I know I’m not what you thought I was, but then you’re not what I thought you were either.’
That arrow found its mark.
He leaned towards her, his eyes ablaze. ‘I know what it’s like to feel unwanted by one’s parents.’
Something inside her stilled, and then started to ache at the pain he tried to mask in the depths of his eyes.
‘I have no intention of letting a child of mine feel rejected like that.’
Yesterday, before their unfortunate meeting, she’d expected him to be a part of their child’s life...regardless of anything else that might or might not happen between them. She passed a hand across her eyes and tried to still the sudden pounding of her heart. ‘How do you think this can work?’
He captured her hand and forced her to look at him. The sincerity in his face caught at her. ‘Marianna, I will do anything you ask of me. Anything except...’ He swallowed.
‘Except?’
‘Walk away from our child. Or...’
‘Or?’
‘Marry you.’
She reclaimed her hand and glared. ‘Who mentioned anything about marriage?’
‘I didn’t say I thought that’s what you wanted. I—’
‘Good! Because I don’t! We don’t even know each other!’ A fact that was becoming increasingly clear. ‘What kind of antiquated notions do you think I harbour?’
‘Don’t fly off the handle.’ He glared right back at her. ‘I thought it wise to make myself and my intentions clear. Your brothers seem very traditional and—’
‘They’re protective, not stupid! They wouldn’t want me marrying some man just because I’m pregnant. For heaven’s sake, women get pregnant all the time—single women. No one expects them to get married any more. No one thinks it’s shameful or a scandal.’
He leaned towards her, his eyes intent. ‘So your brothers haven’t been pressuring you about the baby?’
‘What are you talking about?’
He eyed her warily. ‘Don’t fly off the handle again.’
Her hands clenched. ‘Do not tell me what to do.’
His eyes narrowed, turning cold and hard, and Marianna had to suppress a shiver, but she held her ground. He folded his arms and eased back. ‘I was concerned your brothers might’ve been pressuring you to keep the baby when you didn’t want to. Or, alternatively, pressuring you to give it away when you wanted to keep it.’
‘They’ve been nothing but supportive.’ She’d screwed up, again, but she had their support. They might think her a total write-off, but she would always have their support.
But if they were pressuring her, had Ryan meant to intervene on her behalf? The idea intrigued her.
She moistened her lips. ‘What do you mean to pressure me to do?’
‘It seems to me I have very little say in the matter.’ He picked up his fork again, put it down. ‘It’s your body and your life that will be most immediately impacted. I’ll support you in whatever decisions you make. If there’s anything practical I can do, I hope you’ll let me know.’
He made her feel like a spoilt child.
‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but yesterday I was under the impression that you meant to keep the baby.’ He frowned, looking not altogether pleased. ‘Have you changed your mind?’
She shook her head. An unplanned pregnancy hadn’t been part of her life plan, but... She’d always intended to become a mother one day. She’d just thought she’d be married to the man of her dreams first. Still, the moment the pregnancy test had confirmed that she was, indeed, pregnant, she’d been gripped by such a fierce sense of protectiveness for the new life growing inside her that, while she’d considered all of the options available to her, the only one that had made any sense to her emotionally was to keep her baby. To love it. To give it a wonderful life. ‘I’m going to have this baby and I’m going to raise it and love it.’
He nodded. ‘I know I’ve made it clear that I’m a lone wolf—I never intend to marry—but I do mean to be a father to this child.’
She rubbed her temples, unable to look at him. She finally picked up her cutlery and ate a bite of food.
He honed in on her unease immediately. ‘What’s wrong with that? Why do you have a problem with that?’
‘Lone wolves don’t hang around to help raise the young, Ryan. They hotfoot it to pastures greener.’ Nothing he said made sense. ‘If you intend to never marry, that’s your business. But I don’t see how you can be both a lone wolf and any kind of decent father.’
She raised her hands, complete with cutlery, heavenwards. ‘To be a good father you need to be connected to your child, involved with it. When it needs you to, you have to drop everything at
