most likely, I mean, sir…
– Well, while you were goofing with that… cheerful refueller, flamingo legs, button nose, mouth to ears… Have you loaded the fuel in?
– I think so, yes, sir…
– How much, what brand?
– I don’t remember exactly, sir, let me check the data…
– To hell with your data! Turn off the engines Immediately, signal an alarm to the base while there is still some energy left: we’ve got a hole in the board, we were attacked by the Russians, or some other shit happened! They won’t fly to rescue the assholes who forgot to refuel! It’s your luck we are still not far away from the base.
– No, sir!
– What?
– Yes, sir!
– And change that dreamy face of yours! Next time I will do the refueling, not you!
– Sorry, sir!
Mode
– Hans! What mode should we fly now in?
– In the second, sir!
– So why are we flying in the third then?
– Sorry, sir, I thought we might arrive a little earlier…
– You thought, didn’t you? And may I ask you why?
– Well, the guys from the Academy will be there, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, I thought, sir…
– You thought indeed! Why haven’t you thought that you have a commander? Why haven’t you thought that we’ll need to report fuel usage? Why haven’t you thought that the engine might overheat?
– Sir, but we’ve saved some fuel due to the solar wind.
– Solar wind my ass! We are in another galaxy! There is no Sun in this place whatsoever!
– Sorry, sir, we used the Kruger moment…
– Don’t pretend to be smart, Hans! And always remember you have a commander to make the decisions for you! Turn on the fourth mode! Signal to the base: an emergency, due to some solar wind, fart or shit, do I need to think about everything for you?
– Yes, sir!
Folders
– Hans, where did all orders go?
– I sorted them out into folders, sir!
– You’re out of your mind, Hans! I had a system!
– Serving the System, sir!
– I also serve the System, Hans! I’m talking about another system!
– There is only one System, there will never be another System, sir!
– Don’t recite the Anthem to me, Hans, I know it by heart, same as you! How can I distinguish important orders from unimportant ones now?
– All orders are important, sir…
– Of course, they are, it’s from the same song, Hans, but not all are equally important! There is a sequence, there are priorities…
– Yes, sir.
– And you destroyed it all!
– No, sir, only sorted them!
– Sort them back, Hans! No, wait, looks like the same number of new orders have arrived already.
– Yes, sir!
– Why are they sending them in such behemothian quantities?
– I daren’t know, sir!
– But you look as if you know!
– We loaded the wrong container, sir!
– So why are you fooling with me! Back to the base! Instead of sorting out all sorts of crap, you’d better think of excuses! It was you who had signed the invoice!
– I’ve already thought of everything, sir!
– What?
– There was your name in it, sir, I’ve signed them for you!
Birthday
– Hans, why is your finger bandaged like that? Have you cut yourself?
– No, sir, this is for a memo!
– For what memo? Couldn’t you set a reminder in the alarm system?
– The system isn’t working, sir.
– Do you mean, it kicked the bucket?
– Yes, sir!
– But why didn’t you report it properly?
– I tried to fix the leak first, sir!
– Are we leaking?
– Yes, sir!
– But why didn’t you turn on an emergency system, a pump, a generator?
– We no longer have the emergency system!
– We don’t? What happened to it?
– It was blown off by a meteorite.
– But have you reported to the base that we had an accident?
– No, sir, I haven’t!
– Why not?
– Our transmitter is not working! Besides, we are in another galaxy. The signal does not pass! Nothing is operational!
– And you’ve bandaged your finger for a memo?
– Yes, sir!
– In order not to forget about something else, perhaps, something important?
– Yes, sir!
– I wonder what that could be? What sort of mess can possibly happen to me yet?
– Your birthday, sir!
Stork
– Sir!
– Not now, Hans, it is very urgent!
– But, Sir!
– Another minute,
