Beyond Emotional Intelligence. S. Michele Nevarez
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If indeed the meaning we assign our emotions take their lead from our prior experiences and expectations, shaped and reinforced by concepts that have been modeled for us time and again, then in my estimation we can become cognizant of the mental models influencing how we perpetually and habitually make sense of them. We can decide whether the initial meaning our brain has assigned is the interpretation we'll stick with as well as how we will choose to relate to our real-time sensory experience of our emotions. This prospect is both encouraging and daunting. Encouraging because it means we can unlearn what we were taught we should feel relative to what may be culturally or contextually appropriate in any given situation, and daunting because that's potentially a lot of unlearning we may need to undertake to retrofit and cultivate the kinds of experiences that are more conducive for our aims. Regardless of whether we ascribe to the classical or constructed view of emotions, the end result is mostly the same from a practical standpoint. We still have to deal with how our emotions make us feel and be strategic about the sense we subsequently make of them. That said, the two theories do have varied implications for how we might go about working with our emotions and thus yield different strategies we might use to do so. If we think emotions are fixed, we have far less wiggle room when it comes to how we handle them. But if we know our emotions are constructed and more fluid, then we can assign them whatever meaning we like—that is, if we create the habit of doing so.
Where Does That Leave Us? On an Emotional Cliffhanger
Our emotions are more elaborate than they are simple. Irrespective of the mechanisms by which they arrive or what names we give them when they do, the bottom line is, emotions are a pervasive hallmark of our experience. Their presence acts as a kind of invisible yet palpable navigation system guiding our response. But because we can't see them nor are we fully versed in their detection or intervention, they often elude our conscious awareness and therefore our inclination to recategorize or reframe them. That is where the 12 Self-Discoveries come into play. They provide us with quick methods to spot when our interpretation of them is or isn't helpful, pointing out common mental pitfalls we may be succumbing to and remedies for when we do. Our mental outlook and what unfolds within our mind's ecosystem have a profound impact on us, not just physically but psychologically. What's more, our emotions impact how we make decisions and predispose the course of action we're likely to take as a result of how we interpret them. Thus, our real-time investigation of our emotions and ability to reinterpret or change our perceptual stance relative to them matters as much as our conceptual and scientific understanding of them. How we experience our emotions, the ways in which they color our outlook, shape our outcomes, and impact our relationships for better or worse mirror back to us the working state of our own emotional intelligence.
Notes
1 1. The 12 competencies are grouped under the four specific domains as follows: Within Self-Awareness is the competency emotional self-awareness. Within the domain of Self-Management are the competencies emotional balance, adaptability, achievement orientation, and positive outlook. Within the domain of Social Awareness are the competencies empathy and organizational awareness. Finally, within the domain of Relationship Management are the competencies influence, coach and mentor, teamwork, conflict management, and inspirational leadership.
2 2. Dr. Richard Davidson goes by the name Richie.
3 3. Richie Davidson is quoted in an article in Mindful regarding the measurable impact of contemplative practice on the brain, “We've shown in the laboratory that meditating for a half hour a day for two weeks is enough to produce changes in the brain” (Delehanty, 2017).
4 4. Lisa Feldman Barrett speaks to the origin of the triune model of the brain, what she terms “one of the most successful misconceptions in human biology,” which she explains begins with a model of the human brain consisting of layers: the innermost geared toward our survival, our alleged emotion system known as the “limbic system” sitting atop that, and finally our allegedly rational and uniquely human cortex wrapped around that (Barrett, 2017).
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