was white: walls, sheets, her own clothing. She did not want to stand up but it was necessary, so she sat at the bed slowly, feeling a strong head ache and cramps in the stomach. Head was spinning but not too much. She wanted to eat and to drink but it was enormously difficult to stand up. Sveta squeezed teeth and slowly moved one foot down, waited for some time, got herself together and moved down another one. Head started to spin more and her first intention was to lie down, but instead of that she gathered all her strength and stood up abruptly. She was shaking and felt a strong nausea and she could not understand how she made it to the door. Only when the light in the hall made her close eyes, Svetlana got herself together, felt a strong weakness in feet and rushed to sit at the chair which stood near the ward.
– How are you feeling? – concerned nurse ran to her.
– Where is the bathroom? Could you show me?
Sveta stood up and shook vigorously, so the nurse – a tall, attractive lady dressed in white robe- slowly walked her down the hall, giving support and saying quietly:
– You need to eat a little and remain in bed to get better faster.
– What happen to me? – asked Sveta at the exit, holding to the nurse.
– Nothing serious – your spleen was ruptured. It is just that you became very weak, so you need to lie in bed…
Svetlana was swallowing fish soup, in which she could see fish bones, with an effort. Warm compote with a piece of black bread could not heat her up, and she, as she thought, drained, felt confidently. Inner strengths, coming out of the depths of senses, provided support. She saw herself in the different world which was nothing like her past life. One thing was especially amazing: before the accident so many things bothered her, and all at once she was free from it all! Everything disappeared! Even feelings, opinions had changed so after some thinking Svetlana said:
– Unbelievable, feels like I am alive again!
– What do you mean? – asked the nurse and covered Sveta with blanket. She did not answer and asked absolutely calmly:
– Can I speak with the surgeon who was operating me?
– Yes, his name is Eugeni Dmitrievich; he is a head of the ward. Tomorrow during the rotations he will surely visit you.
When the light in the ward was turned off, Sveta did not close eyes for a long time. She was not thinking of anything, it was just interesting for her to watch people sleep, to look in the window and watch the stars. She didn’t notice the beauty of this world before, living somewhere deep inside herself. «That means that I was depressed from that, – Sveta thought. – Unbelievable that I could not see all that. Probably I was not paying attention». She sensed that now thoughts have no control over her, nothing irritates her or provokes any feelings. Not so long ago thoughts were pressing her, made her loose control. In many occasions she could not be responsible under that burden, committing various absurdities- those wrong steps which all together had lead to the complicated circumstances.
Sveta closed her eyes and tried to deliberate as before, however instead of that she said to herself: «How silly it is even to think of that. Everything scary left, it is all new now. I need to get accused to that and to the…» Then her speech came to the end: sweet dreams took her away; she could not resist them and fell asleep right away.
IV
– Sit down! Why are you still standing up?!
Doctor pushed Max rather forcefully to the chair standing behind. Head started to spin more. Doctor was saying something else and taking notes, while Max replied and thought: «Probably the x-ray is bad, turns out I was not supposed to stand up and I kept walking for almost two days…» It was unbearable to be in the hospital and the head was spinning like the globe. Everything inside tortured with exacting pain, it was painful even to sit; weakness overpowered and he could not even stand up. Then Maxim leaned head to the wall and sat like that in the dormant condition, unexplainable to him.
Within various pictures that was crossing his mind, he saw his mother again. Max was always amazed by her beauty: short curly hair, high forehead, big eyes with penetrating look, serious facial expression, firm and sincere confidence in all her actions – all of that made him admire her. What was the most amazing is that from the outside it was not possible to understand her affluent inner world. No matter what she was saying or doing, to understand and acknowledge what she really intent to imply or perform was not possible immediately. Only after some time under the influence of new circumstances Max was able to perceive true motives of her behavior: "Everything that I hear or see, that is just my assumptions, not justified by anything! To understand and learn the genuine meaning, decipher and think over the rest is an unmanageable task, so there is no point in trying to do that till time is right".
Someone took his hand and Max, with an incredible effort, lifted his head from the wall keeping it straight. Then, with the same effort, overcoming his inner pain, Max opened eyes. Only after some time he realized that the person standing in front of him and looking at him with astonishment, was his father, Vaniamin Leonidovich. Head became very heavy, so Max put it down to the wall and closed his eyes. He overheard his father talking to the doctor, to be more specific, raising his voice at him. Then father took him by the hand again and said: «Sit down, son, I will be right back, just don’t stand up, ok!?» Instead of giving an answer, Max bubbled something unclear, and kept sitting in the same position and thinking of his dad. He enjoyed communication with him more then with anyone else. Maxim felt invisible connection with this wonderful person. He was tall, had dark fair hair and clear eyes that seemed to understand everything. Sun admired his father and his admiration had no limit! Father meant everything to the young man, and he constantly felt necessity to communicate with him. Even when they just had a small talk or kept silence, Мaxim always felt that they are organic whole! Not to see each other for a long time – it is wrong and miserable. Every time when his father was missing but his presence was essential, Maxim could always sense their companionship, as if he really was giving advice what action is better to take. Max always did his best to find time for his parent, help him with something, learn something from him, or just to stay near. He also believed that the strength of his Heavenly father and his own strength unite at the right time. No matter what Max was doing, he felt: «Someone is helping me! Even doing it for me! Of course, it is a Heavenly father…»
Maxim was lifted and carried away by the armpits. He did not care much where he was being taken to, because he heard his dad saying:
– Could it be that serious?!
He heard anxiety in his voice. That happened quite rarely, nothing seemed to cause him to loose control and that intimidated Maxim.
– The bone fracture is not an opened one, so he got lucky! But when I found out that he was walking for a couple of days and even made it to the hospital by himself, I became frustrated and surprised.
– What did frustrate you so much? – Veniamin Leonidovich asked. That was the same question that Maxim wanted to ask but couldn’t.
– If he did not come here today then his bone would break and tendons would break. He would never be able to walk satisfactory. In the best scenario he would be lifting and in the worst, would not be able to step on the foot.
Maxim was sat on the chair and somebody covered his head with the cold, wet towel. Fever was leaving and Max opened eyes and saw his foot, from which shoe was already taken off and the trouser leg was lifted up to the knee. The leg had a strange dark color and seemed to be a little swallowed.
– Does it hurt or not? – asked the doctor while pressing on the left ankle. Patient did not reply because he was lifted from the chair
