don’t think so! How can it be your fault? That all happened because of me: I could not start a conversation with you for so long and finally chose a wrong moment… Forgive me love! I really did not meant for it to be like that…
– I know, there is no need to apologize. Don’t worry about Nikita, I called him up and told to close the apartment and move to grandmother. He should stay there for another week and he likes it there.
– Vadim, how is your health?
– I am okay, I got away with a couple of bruisers and concussion. And you?
– My spleen was ruptured and also some bruisers and contusions.
– So we are doing very well, it could be a lot worse.
– No, we are not doing well at all!
– What do you mean by that?
Vadim realized that his wife has been hiding something.
– I went through examination and I was told that weather I would be able to get pregnant or not depends only on me. From the physiological point of view, I am healthy, from psychological one – I am not.
Sveta started to cry. Vadim gave her a hug:
– How can that be?
– When the car accident took place I was on the top of emotional distress about getting pregnant; and the car crash caused the tension to grow. To become pregnant now I need to go through the situation that would have the same psychological effect, may be even a stronger one, for the mental trauma to lessen…
Svetlana burst into tears.
– Calm down, everything will be fine, please don’t worry!
– How things can become fine? Vadim! All that has been lasting for ten years! Do you realize that? Ten years!! It is not one day, not one month, but a huge amount of time! You understand that totally.
Sveta watched her husband’s face turning into the stone and her body start shaking. With her arms shaking she lighten up the cigarette and after exhaling smoke, continued:
– There is no need to calm me down, we need to come up to the plan!
– Sveta, I am very sorry, but how do you imagine all that? You know very well that the situation was very extreme. We are very lucky to survive and you want to create a similar situation! What are you thinking about? I don’t think we should risk our lives. For what, Sveta! As a plan we can adopt a child. I don’t want to loose you. You have no idea how much I blame myself for this accident!
She smoked silently. Yes, Vadim said all the right things but she told herself not to loose hope. It is definitely necessary to try the only question is how to do it. So far she saw one way out: overlook her life values and change for better. May be this strategy will help and the problem will solve by itself. Svetlana realized that it is not very realistic, but firmly decided to start a new life.
– Sveta, please says something.
– I’ll be trying, – said Svetlana. After thinking for some time, she continued:
– By all means necessary. Will you help me dear?
– You know, there could be only one answer to that question – yes.
After that, he kissed her for the first time during this week and started to cry again.
– Ok, don’t cry! Let’s go to our wards! The sleeping hour is until five.
– I’ll see you in the evening dear; – Svetlana kissed her husband and went to get sleep.
Tears kept crying from her beautiful eyes and head started to ache. Nurse was waiting for her in the ward with the syringe. Svetlana didn’t wait for the shot and not noticing anything around; she understood that she was falling asleep…
In the dream everything was twinkling in front of her eyes, as if the book was skimmed. Suddenly, she saw herself at the class. She stood up from her chair abruptly and threw the pen on in the opened school journal. Her face turned very red. She closed it with hands, hopelessly trying to swallow lump in the throat and with loud sobbing seeing nothing in front of her, she ran away from the class. Everything happened in one moment and astonished students were still sitting frozen, even when her footsteps were not heard.
Sveta had no time to become surprised by what had happened when she saw herself at the reception smoking a cigarette, having an intriguing conversation with the secretary. All of her classes for the day were cancelled. Suddenly the scenery disappeared and Svetlana saw herself absolutely happy. That shocked her. For a few minutes she remained in this condition and then, waking up, heard a baby crying…
She did not even notice how she ate her dinner at the canteen. She was consumed by her dream. She even had a thought to leave work, but decided to stay till her class graduates. «This will be my last class. Only one and a half years! May be this dream will come true, – she thought, understanding absurdity of the idea. -
Everything happens for a reason. And if it doesn’t, that means that I won’t have more children and I would have to live with it». Leaving the canteen, she met with her husband and told him about a dream and her decision.
– Dear, just don’t torture yourself. Do what you think is necessary if that can help you. The only thing I ask for is you take care of yourself. All right? No more unnecessary thinking let the time put everything in the right place.
– What do you mean dear?!
– That it is essential to wait and do what we have to do.
– Yes, and my students are waiting for me, so many classes were cancelled. Can you imagine how much work I would have?! Sounds good.
VI
Maxim left the bed only one time during the day. He was laying in the half-sleeping condition and reading a book. Even when he was only moving eyes through the text, he could still understand the meaning. Music that plaid behind the closed door did not bother him. Parents and their guests celebrated New Year ahead of time, had dinner, laughed and had a good time. Max, however, wanted to be by himself at that time. He did not want anything, especially to be annoyed with various questions and long conversations. The door to his room opened anyway and he heard his mother’s voice:
– Go check, maybe he is not sleeping.
Sister entered the room and asked:
– Do you want to eat? You haven’t eaten for the whole day.
– I am not hungry, Irinka.
– I haven’t heard it, let me bring salad and dumplings, I want you to have them!
Ira left the room not wanting to hear any protests. «She is like mom», – thought Max. He only had time to put the book down, when the door was opened again and his friend Roma’s mother Margarita Leonidovna entered the room. Without saying a word, she sat near Maxim and waited for him to open eyes.
– Will Roma comes over today? It is getting late and he is still not here, – Maxim said.
– Oh, I thought you are asleep. Of course he will… As soon as he is free he will come over.
Margarita
