incentives/have enough money to retire
Spouse retired
Poor health
Didn't like working
Didn't get along with boss
Family health issues
Not appreciated
Job terminated
There's no one correct answer to the question “When should I retire?” A 2018 Fidelity survey found that half of Boomer couples disagree about when they should retire, and for Millennials, more than half disagreed what time was/will be the right time. If you are reading this book because you're considering retiring, take the fun and informative “Are You Ready to Launch Your Retirement” quiz at the end of this chapter. And, if you have a spouse or significant other, she/he should also take the quiz … and be sure to have an in-depth discussion about your results.
As you can see from the preceding list, some people retired not because they wanted to, but because they had to. It's important to recognize that it's not always a choice. As the popular idiom succinctly states, “Forewarned is forearmed.”
Retirement Timing for Couples: Same Time or Staggered Times?
If you're part of a couple, should you retire together? Around 50% of married couples in the United States retire within two years of one another. According to a study involving more than 500 working couples in their 50s, 60s, and 70s, they reported greater marital satisfaction if they retired at or around the same time. This is especially true if accumulating additional money is a nonissue, and the couple has shared interests, such as relocating to a new place, travel, getting in shape, or seeing/helping out their children/grandchildren. Interestingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, men who were retired but had working spouses reported the most marital discord. You may have heard the saying “Twice the husband but half the money.” According to Ronald J. Manheimer, founding director of the North Carolina Center for Creative Retirement at the University of North Carolina, women's fears in retirement include losing one's identity, being responsible for their spouses'/significant others' social lives and entertainment, and experiencing a disruption of their established patterns.
However, there are sound reasons for couples to stagger their retirement:
Several years of additional income from the working spouse could make a huge difference in total retirement savings.
The extra income may allow later claiming of Social Security benefits, resulting in an increase in benefits.
Additional years of working by one spouse may shorten the years money needs to be withdrawn from retirement savings.
If there is family medical coverage provided by an employer, this can be a great money-saving move, especially if the other person is under 65 and not eligible for Medicare.
Although “too much togetherness” can be an issue for some couples, having one spouse retire first may help ease the transition to a new lifestyle. Consider creating two separate offices that provide a bit more breathing room if a little space is a desirable thing. Distance can be beneficial sometimes, but Arthur Aron, a relationship researcher at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has a great suggestion for couples to revitalize their relationship. It's to do something novel that neither of you has done before – and do it together. Examples? Go whitewater rafting, try an Escape Room, take a trip to an exotic place, eat at an ethnic restaurant, help out at a Habitat for Humanity build, take up ballroom dancing. It's found that fresh kinds of activities activate the same systems of the brain that are involved in the rush of romantic love – and cocaine highs! – the dopamine reward system. Aron's research found new experiences among couples boost marital happiness.
Single and/or a Solo Ager?
You may be single by choice or single due to divorce or death of a spouse. As a single, you are among a large and growing cohort of adults. According to 2020 Pew Research figures, 28% of U.S. adults aged 50–64 are single, and 36% over the age of 65 are single. In the over-65 group, 21% of males over 65 are single, and 49% of women are single, partly reflecting, of course, men's shorter life expectancy, along with “gray divorce.” That is why there is a common saying, “Men die married; women die single.” And what about “solo agers” – those without children, without a spouse, and without close relatives? Solo agers comprise about 20% of Boomers.
Being single or a solo ager can have a big effect on retirement planning: It can simplify planning – you only have yourself to look after and you are responsible for your own choices; or it can complicate them – you don't have a partner and/or children or relatives to help navigate retirement (although friends can and often do fill in that gap).
Where to Retire
The 1981 punk rock band The Clash released the catchy “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” They obviously weren't singing about picking up stakes and moving after leaving your primary career or at some point in your retirement, but it's an important question to consider and discuss. Are some places better than others? The short answer is yes.
As mentioned in the Introduction, the pandemic has had an effect on migration patterns within the United States. People realized working remotely is not only an option, but in many cases it's a new normal. Good weather and open spaces that allow you to walk, bike, eat, and play outdoors year-round have become much more desirable. I live in Florida, and I have seen a huge influx of people of all ages relocating and purchasing homes and condos. For example, Marie L.'s oceanfront condo in Florida sold in two days to a New York buyer who purchased it without checking it out in person.
A clever way of determining overall migration patterns is seeing where moving companies are packing up people – and unpacking them. The 2020 U.S. Moving Migration Patterns Report from North American Moving Services lists these states with the most outbound moves: Illinois, New York, California, New Jersey and Maryland. Inbound moves? Idaho, Arizona, South Carolina, Tennessee, North Carolina, Florida, Texas, and Utah.
If we drill down and look at Boomer migration patterns, Realtor.com analyzed who looked up home sales on their site throughout the United States from ZIP codes where at least 4 out of 10 people were Boomers. (As an aside, it's a little disconcerting to see how we are tracked.)
The top 10 locations that these Boomers looked for online were cities in … Florida! If we examine their data a little more broadly, areas in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia were represented. I guess it really is “better at the beach.”
When those who recently retired are asked about relocating after leaving a primary career, the fairly standard answer is that they want to “age in place.” I get that – you may have lifelong friends, children, grandchildren, many ties to the community, and love where you live. For example, David K. is a homegrown Florida guy. He grew up, went to college, founded his financial services company, and continues to happily live in Florida. I grew up and went to high school and earned my bachelor's and master's degrees in Maryland, but also lived and worked in New Jersey (and was working toward my doctorate there), relocated to Ohio due to my husband's corporate transfer, and moved to Florida in 2006. I can work virtually.
You may be born, grow up, retire, and die in the same area. That plan works for many. But, Chapter 5 suggests possibilities for relocation
