completely out of her control.
When her wedding day arrived, it rained, and I lost her. Typically, when it rains on someone’s wedding day, I let them have their “moment.” I tell them that is it okay to be sad. No one wants rain on their wedding day, and the person who said it was good luck had a perfect beautiful day. They deserve to have a moment and if situations come up on your wedding day that are out of your control, you can have a moment. But after that, move on.
I watched her start to go downhill with each passing minute. Every time I checked on her, she got sadder and sadder. In the end, she was never able to get past the point that something was happening on her wedding day that she couldn’t control or change. So the rain won, stealing all her joy on the wedding day.
Another one of my clients experienced a power outage at the church due to a storm. We didn’t plan on what to do if the church lost power. I went in and spoke to this bride when the power went out. I was honestly expecting to see her sitting in a pile of tears. Instead, she looked up at me and said, “I’m just ready to marry my best friend.” I said to her, “Let’s do this!” and left the bridal suite to figure out logistically how we were going to pull off her wedding without power.
The church was full of guests sitting in a dark sanctuary. I walked up to the front of the church and said, “Hello, I’m Sarah the wedding planner. Normally, you don’t see me, but today we are going to work together to give this couple the best day ever. As you know, we don’t have any power, so as the bridal party enters the church, I want you to imagine the most beautiful music playing in the background. We aren’t going to delay and wait for the power to come back on; we are going to get these two amazing people married.”
The crowd cheered and I went back to line everyone up. As I sent the bridal party down the aisle, the guests started to hum, providing the music that we couldn’t play due to the power outage. It was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve seen in my career. It was time for the bride to enter the church.
My favorite moment at every wedding is one that few get to see: the moment when the bride is waiting to enter the ceremony. There is so much raw emotion and love in that moment. No matter whether she’s by herself or with her father or other family member, I always tell her to stop and take it all in. It’s the moment we have been planning for, and now it’s time.
As we stood there in that moment, her faced was filled with joy. She was about to marry her very best friend and it didn’t matter if the power was off. Yes, the songs we worked so hard to pick out wouldn’t be heard. Yes, the vows wouldn’t be heard because it was a big church, and we didn’t have any working microphones. But in that moment, she didn’t care because she was about to be married.
As I opened the doors and sent her down the aisle, I was sad for her. I was sad because she had the most amazing perspective and she deserved to have the power on. Well, wouldn’t you know, all of a sudden, the power came back on! I still get emotional even writing her story because to her, it didn’t matter. I wish everyone who’s planning a wedding could have that perspective. If you can keep that as your number one priority while planning your wedding, I can assure you, good things will happen.
A LESSON IN PERSPECTIVE
My grandparents were married September 13, 1949. On the day of their wedding, their photographer never showed up. They didn’t have a single picture from their wedding day. We don’t know how beautiful my grandmother was or even what her dress looked like. I’m certain my grandfather was very dapper in his suit, but we’ll never know.
What they did have was perspective. Their love story was unlike any I’ve seen in my lifetime. They loved, valued, and respected the other the way you read about but wonder if that kind of love actually exists. Well, it did exist for them, and together they had three sons, three daughters-in-law, nine grandchildren, and eighteen great-grandchildren. They lived a wonderful life honoring the other until they were separated by death.
My grandfather was an artist. I will never forget the Christmas morning we were all sitting around, and he shared with us the story of how their wedding photographer never showed up to their wedding. They were sad that they only had their memories, which were fading, to remember their day. My grandfather gave us all this picture he had drawn as a gift and a reminder that life is always about perspective. For us, as grandchildren, it was our picture, one we would remember forever. The important lesson that my grandfather wanted us to know was that it wasn’t about having beautiful photos of their wedding. The beautiful was in their love story.
Wiley Miller
Process
When I make flower arrangements for my clients, I have a process. I set out all the vases I need, and I start adding one type of flower to all the arrangements before I start on the next variation. There are amazing florists out there and they may or may not do the same thing, but in the end we both have beautiful floral arrangements. The same thing goes for wedding planning. What you are about to read is my process for planning a perfect day. It took me years to perfect my process but I own it. I challenge you to take the tools you will learn in this book and create your own process to plan a perfect day. Own that and you will have a successful wedding day.
Pause
I want you to stop right now and think about how this book ended up in your hands. Are you newly engaged, feeling overwhelmed, or just trying to make sure you are doing the right steps for a perfect day? Whatever the case, take a minute to stop and think about all the things that had to align in your life for you to be reading this book. Now go (I’ll wait).
Here is what I know. You will remember this moment when an author asked you to stop and think about why you were reading this book. Now, apply that to your wedding planning process, wedding weekend, wedding day, and honeymoon. If you take the time to stop in the middle of everything going on around you and mentally record the people around you, the flowers, the decor, the sounds, the laughter, the tears, you will remember your wedding day and all the events around and leading up to the big day. So often, I have seen couples walking through the day like a deer in headlights. Those clients never remember anything about the day. The ones who have been able to truly take in everything around them remember all the details. So, in the middle of the crazy, remember to pause and take it all in. You will thank me for that gift later.
Enjoying the Planning Process
So many books, blogs, and online resources tell you that planning a wedding is the most stressful thing you’ll ever do. But as I said in the introduction, planning a wedding should not be stressful. Planning a wedding should be an enjoyable experience, but often we get in our own way and complicate the process — we are the ones that make it stressful.
I once read that being a wedding planner was one of the top five most stressful jobs. Well, it is stressful, but only because I take on the stress so that my clients don’t have to. Through this book, I share my process of planning clients’ weddings so that you don’t have to stress while planning yours.
In this section we talk about setting boundaries with your family and friends as well as the importance of checking in with your fiancé and the value of premarital counseling. To eliminate the stress for you, I’m going to give you my wedding planning checklist that I use for every single client’s wedding. It’s my roadmap and will soon be yours!
Setting
