you feel the way you do so that you understand that there is nothing wrong with you. The fear of rejection is natural and human.2 I want you to become aware of what you really fear, and with this awareness, open the door to helping you develop emotional discipline in the face of rejection.
The most effective way to learn how to conquer obstacles is to encounter them repeatedly until, instead of looking insurmountable, they seem easy. To become more effective with price increase conversations, you must first do the hard work of getting past your fears. I can explain the process, but I cannot do it or understand it for you.
You must make the decision, like I eventually did, that you are tired of wasting time and energy on worry, stress, and anxiety over your fears. It's up to you to decide that you no longer want to feel intimidated, insecure, and inferior when presenting or asking for price increases. You must decide to change.
Becoming Rejection Proof
Jia Jiang had hit rock-bottom. He needed investors to get his business off of the ground but he was terrified of asking for money. His dream of becoming an entrepreneur had been torpedoed by his deep fear of rejection.
Embarrassed, depressed, and desperate, he had an epiphany. His only hope for achieving his dream was to face rejection head-on. This is where Jiang's improbable journey through 100 days of rejection and eventual obstacle immunity began.
Jiang chronicles how he systematically exposed himself to all levels of rejection in his book Rejection Proof. By asking for money, custom doughnuts, temporary jobs, “burger refills” at a hamburger joint, and the chance to play soccer in a stranger's backyard – among dozens of other requests – he got nose-to-nose with emotional obstacles that would make the average human squirm.
Through this progressive exposure to rejection, a mindset shift occurred. As he became immune to his greatest obstacle, he developed an emotional callus that made it harder for rejection to pierce his thickening skin.
Emotional discipline in the face of potential rejection is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger you become. Which is exactly why avoiding price increase conversations makes you weaker.
Data from research studies indicate that when your self-esteem and confidence is low, you become even more susceptible to rejection.2 When insecurity consumes you, it is very, very difficult to be successful while selling price increases.
As Jiang progressed through his 100 days of rejection, he began getting improbable yeses. These wins boosted his self-esteem and his confidence, leading to more wins. In a virtuous loop, his confidence made it harder for people to say “no,” which in turn improved his probability of getting a yes, which made him even more relaxed, confident, and assertive.
Four Keys to Developing Price Increase Obstacle Immunity
Adversity is your most powerful and impactful coach. Things that challenge you change you—most often for the better. Here are the four keys to developing obstacle immunity when selling price increases:
1 Be ready and open to gaining resilience through the crucible of adversity and pain.
2 Intentionally choose to put yourself in uncomfortable, rejection-dense situations.
3 Actively seek out rejection by asking confidently for what you want.
4 Push through the early pain until you ignite your own virtuous loop of confidence.
Once you begin intentionally facing fears and emotionally uncomfortable situations, you'll learn to anticipate the anxiety that comes right before the obstacle. You'll learn how to shift your internal self-talk and outward physical reaction to that fear.
Soon, the emotional rigors of approaching customers with price increases cease to phase you and it becomes routine. In other words, the more you do it, the more confident and self-assured you become.
You'll gain a sense of mastery and confidence. This leads to higher self-esteem and improved effectiveness in price increase conversations.
Exercise 4.1 10 Days of Rejection
In this exercise, you will begin the process of mastering the fear-of-rejection obstacle. Each day for the next 10 days, you will approach another person and ask for something.
Log what you asked for “The Ask,” who you asked, where you asked, the outcome, and your emotions prior to asking, while you were asking, and after you asked.
Then, reflect on what you learned. Pay close attention to how responses to your asks change, as you gain more confidence.
Day One
The Ask:
Who You Asked:
Where You Asked:
The Outcome:
Log your emotional state before, during, and after you asked. What did you learn? What behaviors will you adjust before the next ask?
Day Two
The Ask:
Who You Asked:
Where You Asked:
The Outcome:
Log your emotional state before, during, and after you asked. What did you learn? What behaviors will you adjust before the next ask?
Day Three
The Ask:
Who You Asked:
Where You Asked:
The Outcome:
Log your emotional state before, during, and after you asked. What did you learn? What behaviors will you adjust before the next ask?
Day Four
The Ask:
Who You Asked:
Where You Asked:
The Outcome:
Log your emotional state before, during, and after you asked. What did you learn? What behaviors will you adjust before the next ask?
Day Five
The Ask:
Who You Asked:
Where You Asked:
The Outcome:
Log your emotional state before, during, and after you asked. What did you learn? What behaviors will you adjust before the next ask?
