know that it wasn’t so good, and I could have made a better judgment[22] on this, but the most important thing for me was just my lovely work. My work was my life with Miles and Flora, and nothing else mattered. Being with them made me happy. Working with them was like being in a beautiful story every day. I can’t say how interested and amazed I was by my companions. Instead of getting used to them, I kept discovering new things about them. There was one thing that stayed a mystery though—the boy’s behavior at school. But I didn’t worry about it because he was innocent and didn’t deserve any punishment. I knew that people might be jealous of him and try to hurt him, even the headmasters.
Both the children were like the cherubs[23]! It seemed like Miles had no history. He was sensitive and happy, as if every day was a fresh start. We don’t expect much from a small child, but there was something sensitive and at the same time happy about this beautiful little boy. He was never hurt, not for a second. I took this as a direct disproof[24] of the fact that he was really punished. If he was bad, I would have noticed something. But I found nothing, so he must be an angel. He never talked about his school, friends, or teachers, and I didn’t want to ask about them. I was under their spell, even though I knew it. But being with them was a distraction from any pain, even though I had other problems. I got sad letters from home, but my children were the most important thing in the world. That’s what I thought during my alone time. I was amazed by their beauty.
There was a Sunday when it rained a lot, so we couldn’t go to church. If the weather got better in the evening, I planned to go with Mrs. Grose to the church later. Luckily, the rain stopped and I got ready for our walk. It would take about twenty minutes to get to the village through the park and the good road. Before meeting Mrs. Grose in the hall, I remembered that I had left a pair of gloves upstairs. They needed to be fixed with three stitches, which I had done. I went upstairs to get the gloves. As soon as I entered the room, I saw the gloves on a chair near the window. I also noticed a person on the other side of the window looking inside. It was the same person I had seen before. This time, I could see him better, and it felt like he was closer to me. Something, however, happened this time that had not happened before; he was looking at my face with the same deep and hard look as before, but this look left me for a second, and I could see him moving from one thing to another. It made me feel surprised and cold. I suddenly realized that he wasn’t there for me. He had come for someone else.
I ran along the terrace and turned a corner, but there was nothing to see. My visitor was gone. I looked around, but there was no one. The terrace, the lawn, the garden, and the park were empty. I felt sure that he wasn’t hiding in the bushes or trees. He was either there or not there. If I couldn’t see him, he wasn’t there. I realized this and instead of going back the way I came, I went to the window. I knew I should stand where he had stood. I did so and looked into the room. Just as I had done, Mrs. Grose came in from the hall. She saw me and stopped. I scared her just like he had scared me. She turned pale, and I wondered if I turned pale too. She looked and went back the way I had come. I knew I would see her soon. I stayed where I was and thought about many things. But there’s only one thing I have time to say. I wondered why she was scared.
V
Oh, she told me right away, when she came. “What’s wrong?” She was out of breath.
I didn’t say anything until she came closer. “With me? I must have made a strange face. Do I show it?”
“You’re as white as a sheet. You look terrible.”
I thought about it; I could tell her the truth. I held her hand tightly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her being close to me. There was comfort in the surprise on her shy face. “You came to get me for church, of course, but I can’t go.”
“Did something happen?”
“Yes. You need to know now. Did I look very strange?”
“Through this window? Terrible!”
“Well,” I said, “I’ve been scared. What you saw from the dining room a minute ago was similar to what I saw. But what I saw was much worse.”
Her hand tightened. “What was it?”
“A strange man. Looking in.”
“What strange man?”
“I don’t know at all.”
Mrs. Grose looked around but couldn’t find him. “Then where did he go?”
“I have no idea.”
“Have you seen him before?”
“Yes, once. On the old tower.”
“Do you mean he’s a stranger?”
“Oh, very much!”
“Yet you didn’t tell me?”
“No, for reasons. But now that you’ve guessed—”
“Ah, I didn’t guess!” she said simply. “You’ve only seen him on the tower?”
“And on this spot just now.”
Mrs. Grose looked around again. “What was he doing on the tower?”
“Just standing there and looking down at me.”
She thought for a moment. “Was he a gentleman?”
I realized I didn’t need to think. “No.” She looked in deeper wonder.
“No.”
“Then nobody around? Nobody from the village?”
“Nobody—nobody. I didn’t tell you, but I was sure.”
“But if he’s not a gentleman—”
“What is he? He’s a horror.”
“A horror?”
“He’s—God help me, I have no idea!”
Mrs. Grose looked around again, then she turned to me and suddenly said, “It’s time for us to go to church.”
“Oh, I can’t go to church!”
“Won’t it be good for you?”
“It won’t be good for them!” I nodded[25] toward the house.
“The children?”
“I can’t leave them now.”
“You’re afraid—?”
“I’m afraid of him.”
“When was it—on the tower?”
“About in the middle of the month. Around this time.”
“Almost in the dark?” asked Mrs. Grose.
“Oh, no, not nearly. I saw him as clearly as I see you.”
“So how did he get in?”
“And
judgment – суждение
cherub – херувим
disproof – опровержение
to nod – кивать
