that fears are not walls but doors. They seem insurmountable only until you start opening them.
For example, the fear of being vulnerable. You’re afraid that power will make you harsh, and submission will make you weak. But when you start reassessing these roles, you see that power is not about aggression but about responsibility, about managing yourself. And submission is not about losing freedom but about the ability to trust and let go. You realize that vulnerability is not weakness but a path to true connection with yourself and others.
On a neurological level, reassessing fear activates the prefrontal cortex, responsible for mindfulness and emotion management. According to the American Journal of Psychiatry (2021), mindful exploration of your fears reduces amygdala activity by 25%, decreasing the "fight or flight" response. This allows for more balanced decision-making and greater resilience, even in stressful situations.
But reassessing fear is not just biology. It’s a transformation of perception. When you start questioning where your fears came from, whose voices told you to be afraid, you notice that many of them have nothing to do with you. These are fears imposed by society, family, culture. They are not yours. And you can choose whether to listen to them or not.
What happens when you stop running? You begin to see that fears are not enemies. They are signals of where you are not yet free. Fears show you the areas you’ve always avoided. By reassessing them, you open new paths. You stop fearing power because you understand that you can use it to create, to manage your life. You stop fearing submission because you realize that trust doesn’t make you weak but makes you strong.
When you reassess your fears, you stop living within constraints. You start asking yourself new questions: "What can I do with this?" "How can I use this for my growth?" You no longer react automatically; you choose. And that is the key difference. You choose who to be, what to feel, how to live.
What awaits you if you decide to reassess your fears? Freedom. True freedom. The freedom to be yourself. You’ll begin to see that your fears are not a sentence but potential. They are what can make you stronger. You’ll understand that the fear of power is the fear of your own strength. And the fear of submission is the fear of trust. And when you deal with them, you’ll stop being afraid of yourself. And that means you’ll become free.
Part 1: The Brain Under Control
Neural Circuits of Dominance: Dopamine and Oxytocin
When you enter the dynamics of power or submission, your brain initiates complex biological processes that turn these roles into sources of pleasure and emotional stability. This is not just a psychological experience – it is a neurochemical dance in which two hormones play the leading roles: dopamine and oxytocin. Together, they shape your response to control and trust, explaining why these states can be so attractive and liberating.
Dopamine: The Hormone of Motivation and Reward
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for motivation, anticipation, and the feeling of reward. When you take control, your brain rewards you with a surge of dopamine. This activates the reward system, giving you a sense of elevation, confidence, and satisfaction. You feel like you’re doing something right, that the world is in your hands. Power becomes not only an act of dominance but also a source of pleasure that comes from within.
Interestingly, submission, contrary to stereotypes, also stimulates the dopamine system. When you let go of control, the brain interprets this as a reduction in cognitive load. Cortisol levels – the stress hormone – decrease, while dopamine, on the contrary, rises, rewarding you for the ability to trust. This state resembles the feeling of peace after prolonged tension when you allow yourself to simply exist.
Research published in the Journal of Neuroscience (2017) shows that dopamine levels increase by 25-30% during both experiences of power and conscious submission. Both states activate the striatum – the brain’s reward center – reducing anxiety and enhancing a sense of satisfaction.
Oxytocin: The Hormone of Trust and Closeness
If dopamine is responsible for pleasure, oxytocin governs connection and trust. This hormone is often called the "love hormone," but its role is much broader. When you are in a situation of submission, your brain releases oxytocin, helping you feel calm and secure. You allow yourself to let go of control and trust your partner, which reduces the hyperactivity of the amygdala – the brain’s fear center.
Oxytocin also plays an important role in dominance. When you take responsibility for another person, this hormone stimulates empathy, care, and a sense of mutual connection. Thus, power ceases to be an act of suppression and transforms into a way of creating deep social bonds.
A study published in Nature Neuroscience (2018) indicates that oxytocin levels increase by 35-40% when a person is in a trusting relationship. This explains why both power and submission can bring a sense of emotional comfort if they occur in the context of mutual agreement.
How the Brain Works in These States
When you assume the role of power or submission, three key brain areas are activated:
Prefrontal cortex: Responsible for analyzing the situation and making conscious decisions. It helps you determine when to take control and when to let go.
Amygdala: Usually responsible for anxiety, it calms down thanks to oxytocin and dopamine, allowing you to feel safe.
Striatum: The reward center amplifies the feeling of pleasure, strengthening your connection with a partner or situation.
These processes make power and submission not just social roles but states that literally reprogram your brain, helping you feel confident and stable.
These neurochemical mechanisms explain why power and submission evoke such strong emotions. It’s not just a play of roles but a biological need that helps you reduce stress, strengthen connections, and discover new points of mindfulness. Power provides a sense of strength and control; submission brings a sense of trust and safety. Together, they become tools that help you better understand yourself and your interaction with the world.
Dopamine and oxytocin are the keys to understanding why the dynamics of power and submission can be not only enjoyable but also beneficial. They activate reward systems, reduce anxiety, and enhance emotional awareness. These states give you the opportunity to look at yourself from a new perspective, see your boundaries, and find harmony between control and trust. Power and submission are not opposites but two sides of the same process that open the path to inner freedom.
The Effect of Letting Go of Control on Emotional Awareness
When you let go of control, it is not a sign of weakness, as we are often led to believe, but a conscious act capable of transforming your inner world. Relinquishing excessive control over a situation relieves your brain of a massive load, freeing space for a deeper understanding of your emotions and experiences. It is not defeat but the beginning of a new form of freedom.
Think about how often you have been exhausted from trying to keep everything under control. When you are in a state of hyper-management, your brain works to the limit. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for analysis and planning, becomes overloaded, cortisol levels – the stress hormone – rise, and all this robs you of the ability to perceive the present. You don’t notice your feelings, you don’t hear yourself, because all your attention is consumed by external circumstances. But once you release this burden, your brain switches to entirely different tasks. You no longer fight reality –
