of layabout wizards –’
‘Don’t you understand?’ shouted Harry. ‘They will torture and kill you like they did my parents!’
‘Dad,’ said Dudley in a loud voice, ‘Dad – I’m going with these Order people.’
‘Dudley,’ said Harry, ‘for the first time in your life, you’re talking sense.’
He knew that the battle was won. If Dudley was frightened enough to accept the Order’s help, his parents would accompany him: there could be no question of being separated from their Diddykins. Harry glanced at the carriage clock on the mantelpiece.
‘They’ll be here in about five minutes,’ he said, and when none of the Dursleys replied, he left the room. The prospect of parting – probably forever – from his aunt, uncle and cousin was one that he was able to contemplate quite cheerfully, but there was nevertheless a certain awkwardness in the air. What did you say to one another at the end of sixteen years’ solid dislike?
Back in his bedroom, Harry fiddled aimlessly with his rucksack, then poked a couple of owl nuts through the bars of Hedwig’s cage. They fell with dull thuds to the bottom, where she ignored them.
‘We’re leaving soon, really soon,’ Harry told her. ‘And then you’ll be able to fly again.’
The doorbell rang. Harry hesitated, then headed back out of his room and downstairs: it was too much to expect Hestia and Dedalus to cope with the Dursleys on their own.
‘Harry Potter!’ squeaked an excited voice, the moment Harry had opened the door; a small man in a mauve top hat was sweeping him a deep bow. ‘An honour, as ever!’
‘Thanks, Dedalus,’ said Harry, bestowing a small and embarrassed smile upon the dark-haired Hestia. ‘It’s really good of you to do this … they’re through here, my aunt and uncle and cousin …’
‘Good day to you, Harry Potter’s relatives!’ said Dedalus happily, striding into the living room. The Dursleys did not look at all happy to be addressed thus; Harry half expected another change of mind. Dudley shrank nearer to his mother at the sight of the witch and wizard.
‘I see you are packed and ready. Excellent! The plan, as Harry has told you, is a simple one,’ said Dedalus, pulling an immense pocket watch out of his waistcoat and examining it. ‘We shall be leaving before Harry does. Due to the danger of using magic in your house – Harry being still under-age, it could provide the Ministry with an excuse to arrest him – we shall be driving, say ten miles or so, before Disapparating to the safe location we have picked out for you. You know how to drive, I take it?’ he asked Uncle Vernon politely.
‘Know how to –? Of course I ruddy well know how to drive!’ spluttered Uncle Vernon.
‘Very clever of you, sir, very clever, I personally would be utterly bamboozled by all those buttons and knobs,’ said Dedalus. He was clearly under the impression that he was flattering Vernon Dursley, who was visibly losing confidence in the plan with every word Dedalus spoke.
‘Can’t even drive,’ he muttered under his breath, his moustache rippling indignantly, but fortunately neither Dedalus nor Hestia seemed to hear him.
‘You, Harry,’ Dedalus continued, ‘will wait here for your guard. There has been a little change in the arrangements –’
‘What d’you mean?’ said Harry at once. ‘I thought Mad-Eye was going to come and take me by Side-Along-Apparition?’
‘Can’t do it,’ said Hestia tersely. ‘Mad-Eye will explain.’
The Dursleys, who had listened to all of this with looks of utter incomprehension on their faces, jumped as a loud voice screeched: ‘Hurry up!’ Harry looked all around the room before realising that the voice had issued from Dedalus’s pocket watch.
‘Quite right, we’re operating to a very tight schedule,’ said Dedalus, nodding at his watch and tucking it back into his waistcoat. ‘We are attempting to time your departure from the house with your family’s Disapparition, Harry; thus, the charm breaks at the moment you all head for safety.’ He turned to the Dursleys. ‘Well, are we all packed and ready to go?’
None of them answered him: Uncle Vernon was still staring, appalled, at the bulge in Dedalus’s waistcoat pocket.
‘Perhaps we should wait outside in the hall, Dedalus,’ murmured Hestia: she clearly felt that it would be tactless for them to remain in the room while Harry and the Dursleys exchanged loving, possibly tearful farewells.
‘There’s no need,’ Harry muttered, but Uncle Vernon made any further explanation unnecessary by saying loudly, ‘Well, this is goodbye, then, boy.’
He swung his right arm upwards to shake Harry’s hand, but at the last moment seemed unable to face it, and merely closed his fist and began swinging it backwards and forwards like a metronome.
‘Ready, Diddy?’ asked Aunt Petunia, fussily checking the clasp of her handbag so as to avoid looking at Harry altogether.
Dudley did not answer, but stood there with his mouth slightly ajar, reminding Harry a little of the giant, Grawp.
‘Come along, then,’ said Uncle Vernon.
He had already reached the living-room door when Dudley mumbled, ‘I don’t understand.’
‘What don’t you understand, Popkin?’ asked Aunt Petunia, looking up at her son.
Dudley raised a large, ham-like hand to point at Harry.
‘Why isn’t he coming with us?’
Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia froze where they stood, staring at Dudley as though he had just expressed a desire to become a ballerina.
‘What?’ said Uncle Vernon loudly.
‘Why isn’t he coming too?’ asked Dudley.
‘Well, he – he doesn’t want to,’ said Uncle Vernon, turning to glare at Harry and adding, ‘you don’t want to, do you?’
‘Not in the slightest,’ said Harry.
‘There you are,’ Uncle Vernon told Dudley. ‘Now come on, we’re off.’
He marched out of the room: they heard the front door open, but Dudley did not move and after a few faltering steps Aunt Petunia stopped too.
‘What now?’ barked Uncle Vernon, reappearing in the doorway.
It seemed that Dudley was struggling with concepts too difficult to put into words. After several moments of apparently painful internal struggle, he said, ‘But where’s he going to go?’
Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon looked at each other. It was clear that Dudley was frightening them. Hestia Jones broke the silence.
‘But … surely you know where your nephew is going?’ she asked, looking bewildered.
‘Certainly we know,’ said Vernon Dursley. ‘He’s off with some of your lot, isn’t he? Right, Dudley, let’s get in the car, you heard the man, we’re in a hurry.’
Again, Vernon Dursley marched as far as the front door, but Dudley did not follow.
‘Off
