Butterflies. Ksana Gilgenberg
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First Rita became paler and then blushed. Keeping silent, she went on sipping her tea. She avoided Lika’s eye; her own eyes vacantly roaming over the wall behind the friend.
“I know the truth!” it started again in Lika’s brain. “I know the truth!”, “I know the truth!”, “I know the truth!” it was going round and round. “Common! Tell her!” She broke the thought whirlwind. She opened the mouth but could not utter a single word; sighing loudly. Wordless, they kept on drinking tea. Thoughts in her head and the silence started suppressing Lika.
“Rita, don’t you want to tell me something?” the silence was finally broken.
Instead of the answer Rita burst into tears. She looked away rubbing the tears off her face, but they kept on pouring down ever harder. Lika got on her feet and put her hands around Rita’s shoulders, feeling her own tears coming down her cheeks. She really sympathized with Rita. So they were crying together – Rita sitting in her chair with her head in her hands and Lika above her clutching Rita’s shoulder with one hand and stroking her head with the other.
“It’s all right, Rita. It’ll be all right… I’m here with you… we’ll find the way out… calm down, please… it’ll be all right… everything will be all right,” she went on repeating softly.
Finally, Rita ceased crying but still gave little whimpers. Her eyes were red and swelling. And still she was beautiful. Her long golden curly hair were slightly waiving about her thin, angelic, beautiful face with gentle features. Lips, also red with crying, stood out as a bright spot. “How beautiful she is!” Lika once again thought looking at the friend who was still wiping her tears.
“You know it, don’t you?” she ventured a guess, and a tear rolled down her cheek again.
Lika nodded; she could hardly fight her tears.
“Do they all know?” blushing Rita forced out the words.
“Tanya doesn’t know. It means that not everyone’s got wind of it,” Lika tried to joke.
“Umm,” Rita uttered hiding her head. “If I had known he …If I had known, I would have never…”
“What’s the use of talking about it now when it’s happened? We’d better think about what to do next.”
“I’ve no idea… no idea…” she started whimpering again.
“Did you tell him?”
“Yeah…”
“And?”
“He said he doesn’t want any problems,” Rita broke forth into tears.
In her sobbing she was saying something. Lika only could understand that he had given Rita money, so that she could get out of the situation and that if Rita’s parents learnt about her pregnancy, they would throw her out of the house. At that moment Lika felt how terrible Rita’s position was – she winced because of Goosebumps running up and down her shoulders when she imagined herself in her friend’s shoes. What would she do in the same situation? She did not have the answer. Despair welled up in her. She swallowed and shook her head trying to get rid of the feeling. She still did not know how she could help Rita. “Should she support her morally? No. It’s too little. She needs to do something significant. But what should it be? Should she talk to the father of the future baby?”
“I could talk to Vlad,” Lika said with confidence.
“No, please! Don’t! By no means! Hear me? Don’t tell him!” Rita protested. “I don’t want him to know. I’ve disappointed you, it’s enough for me,” she added sadly.
“Don’t be silly! You haven’t disappointed me. You’re just goosey if you really think so. I still love you,” Lika switched to tender tone once again, but in a second as if she understood something, she wondered, “You say you don’t want him to know…”
“He doesn’t need more worries. He isn’t in charge of his cousin. I’m the only one to be blamed.”
“So it was Sergei?”
Rita nodded; without looking up, she went on eyeing her own fingers. As for Lika, she felt absolutely delighted at the moment and smiled like a brewer’s horse, “Thanks God it’s not him! How could she not understand it at once? How dared she doubt it? He was not able to leave either a girl or a friend in need! But if it was Sergei, why did Emily told her friends in the bathroom at Vlad’s house that Vlad had got Rita pregnant? Did she just come up with something she really had not known? Apparently, it was so. And now she was dating Sergei. So what was going to happen next? What if he left her just like he had done with Rita? No way. Emily would never let anyone hurt her. She was so different from Rita! She was not the one who could be dumped – just the other way round. But would she have dated Sergei if she had known the truth? Lika thought that she might have not. “I need to tell her. Or shouldn’t I? Can it make it more difficult?” thought the girl, looking at the completely upset friend, “Should I tell Rita that he’s dating Emily? Probably, I’d better not… How long have they been going out? Who can be sure they’ll go on? No, I shouldn’t tell her now! She’s so upset. But I must do something to help. Who could help us?”
“Rita, you must tell your mum about it,” Lika said with decision. “She will understand everything.”
Rita severely shook her head.
“No! No way! I can’t!”
“You can. It will be all right. She will help you…” Lika went on persuading Rita.
“No-no-no! I can’t tell her! Out of the question! Just imagine what she’ll feel. I can’t!”
“And how will you feel? Sooner or later she’ll learn. You won’t be able to hide it for too long…”
“Year, right you are… It’ll become obvious quite soon. This cannot be allowed,” she uttered wistfully. “But he’s given me money and I’ll use it.”
“An abortion?” Lika asked almost in whisper.
“I have no choice,” Rita replied in a small voice, and more tears leaked out down her cheeks.
“Rita, I don’t think it’s the right decision,” she pronounced quietly in the tone that lacked confidence. Of course, Lika was sure Rita’s decision was not right, though she hesitated unsure of her own decisions she would have made if something similar happened to her.
“And what is right then? Is it right to have a baby when you’re seventeen?” Rita indignantly exclaimed. “What will I do with… him or her? My life will come to an end! I’ll lose my friends and say goodbye to further education! No entertainment! Just nappies and walks with a baby carriage! Can you imagine the way my neighbors, my classmates will look at me! I’m feeling ashamed of going out. It seems to me they all know… they’re whispering behind my back. I won’t live like this! Can you see this?”
“What if he got married to you?”
“It would change everything, but he won’t marry me. He doesn’t