sir, would they?
No, no. It's a mistake! It must be a mistake!
Then I'd better go and tell them —
Look here! I say, – you fellows! You've come to the wrong house!
'Ere! my good men, what are you comin' in 'ere for, bringing all your dust into my apartments?
[Standing paralysed; to himself.] We can't both be dreaming!
[Trying to remonstrate with slaves.] This rubbish don't belong 'ere! I can't 'ave the 'ole place littered up with it! You needn't act so ridic'lous if you are niggers! [To Horace.] It ain't no use my talking to 'em, sir. They're not like Christians– they're deaf and dumb, seemingly! You try!
[Going to the Head Slave, who salaams as he approaches.] Can you understand if I ask a question? [The Head Slave salaams again.] Well, I – I know it seems a silly thing to ask – but – but you don't happen to be sent here by – by anybody with a name something like Fakrash? [The Head Slave implies by a gesture that this is so.] You have!.. Well, look here. I don't want 'em. I decline to take 'em in. You have all these things put on the camels again, and clear out! Do you see what I mean? [By this time the other slaves have gone; the Head Slave signifies in pantomime that the things are Horace's, salaams, and goes out, the door closing behind him mysteriously.] I don't believe that idiot understands now! They've gone off to fetch more!
[Who has returned to window.] They've gone off altogether, sir. I can't see nothink now but a cloud of dust.
[Sinks into chair on right of table with his head buried in his hands.] The fools! The confounded fools!
[Comes to table and looks for Horace in vain.] Sir! Sir! [Sees him over the bales, &c.] Sir! Where are you going to 'ave your dinner-party now?
[Forlornly.] Oh, I don't know – I don't know! Don't worry me now, Mrs. Rapkin! Go away! Can't you see I want to think – I want to think!
[As she goes towards door at back.] Well, I must say and I do say that if this 'ad to 'appen, it couldn't have come more ill-convenient! [She goes out.
[As he returns the diamond to the sack.] Oh! damn it all!
My son!
[Recoiling on sacks.] I'm not dreaming now! I'm awake! And yet – all that story of yours about your being shut up in a brass bottle? I did dream that– eh?
Nay, it is even as I told thee.
And it was you who sent me all these things?
A few trifling gifts by no means suited to thy dignity! Thou owest me no thanks.
I – I'd rather not owe you anything. I mean – I can't possibly accept any presents from you.
Nay, they are freely thine.
I don't want to be ungracious, but I must decline to be under any obligation whatever to a – well, to a perfect stranger like yourself.
Hast thou not placed me under the heaviest of obligations by delivering me from a bottle of brass? To escape out of a bottle is pleasant!
So I should imagine. But, you see, I'd no notion what I was doing or – well, it's done now, and if you really wish to show your gratitude for a very trifling service, I'll tell you how you can do it. [In a tone of earnest entreaty.] Take back all these gifts of yours, and let me alone!
[Beaming.] Truly I am amazed by thy modesty and magnanimity!
I'm not magnanimous – I'm devilish annoyed! [Exasperated.] Hang it all! Can't you understand that all these things are no earthly use to me? You might just as well have sent me so many white elephants!
As thou pleasest! To send thee elephants – yea, even in abundance – will be no difficult undertaking.
[Aghast.] Good Lord! Don't you go wasting white elephants on me! You take everything so literally! All I meant was that if these things were white elephants, instead of what they are, I couldn't be more embarrassed! Now do you see?
[Coming down to right.] Thou seemest to me to be despising riches beyond all price.
Exactly! Because they are beyond all price! Look at those sacks – bulging, simply bulging with diamonds and rubies and emeralds as big as ostrich eggs! Well, I can't wear 'em. They'd be too dressy! I can't sell 'em – no one could afford to buy a single one of 'em! And how am I to account for having them at all?
Thou canst surely say that they are presents to thee from Fakrash-el-Aamash, a Jinnee of the Green Jinn, in return for thy kindness in releasing him from a bottle of brass.
Oh, can I? I fancy I see myself giving that explanation! [More mildly.] No, Fakrash, – you meant well – but the kindest thing you can do is to remove all this at once —
This is a thing that cannot be. For to bestow gifts and receive them back disgraceth the giver.
Not when the gifts are only in the way. [He nearly trips over a sack.] Just look at this room!
Verily it is but a miserable apartment for a person of thy distinction!
It's quite good enough for me when it isn't lumbered up like this. I'm expecting friends to dinner this evening,
