is a gift in your restlessness – discover it, for it holds the key to transformation.’
Chapter 1
A Moment of Realization
It was the evening of the annual ‘Leaders of Tomorrow’ awards dinner. A glittering black-tie affair held at The Dorchester hotel, London, attended by over 2000 employees gathered from Gant Foster's European offices. There were representatives from all levels of the business, including board members and non-executive directors, many of whom William Cleverley, the company's Operations Director, looked up to and whose admiration he sought.
William had been asked to present an award. It was his big chance, an opportunity to shine but the importance of the event was making him unusually nervous, as he adjusted his bow-tie for the umpteenth time. This was one of the most prestigious events in the Gant Foster annual calendar and until now William had simply been too busy to give it due attention. It was only yesterday that he'd so much as thought about what to say and had haphazardly drawn up his speech. He was now just moments away from being called to the stage.
William fidgeted in his seat, as Melissa Jacobs, the European Marketing Director, presented the award for the most Innovative Advertising Idea. His category for the Rising Star Award was up next. He sighed a long breath of desperation.
Watching Melissa, he marvelled at how clearly she spoke, concisely explaining the history of the award and acknowledging all the entrants for their brilliant ideas. ‘Well it's been an incredibly close call, but I am delighted to announce that tonight's winner is Susan Dillon, for her highly visual and engaging campaign, as celebrated in so many industry publications already this year.’
William's face turned ashen white as Melissa eloquently described why Susan was such a worthy winner, placing great emphasis on her achievements and why she was so proud of Susan and her team. What's more, she had already brilliantly summarised the strengths of each shortlisted entrant. Not a single member of the audience could be in any doubt that Melissa cared about her nominees … she'd focused her speech entirely on them.
William, on the other hand, was about to do the opposite. Caught up in his own self-importance, he'd planned to share his personal success story to show the winner what they might expect as a result of their triumph. What on earth had he been thinking? How could he so foolishly have overlooked that the event was about recognizing the award nominees for their successes and achievements rather than his own rise to glory through the company? It was thinly veiled self-promotion at best, and he feared this could really backfire on him. He'd been so wrapped up with concerns about his own public image and how to use this precious opportunity to make an impression, that he'd quite forgotten himself and was behaving like a total idiot. Why did he think his story mattered anyway? Did he really crave recognition that desperately?
Beads of sweat formed on his temple and he wished he'd done more preparation, but it was too late for that now. He tried to reassure himself that as this wasn't the first speech he'd given, everything would surely be okay? Of course it would … he'd be fine and the words would flow naturally. His anxiety had grown a little during the extravagant dinner – the long wait until his scheduled slot had given him far too much time to dwell, and now, having heard Melissa, he was taking deep breaths to calm the tension building inside him. All he wanted was to get out there and get the whole thing over with.
As Eric, a Senior Vice President at Gant Foster and William's seemingly hard-to-please boss, was welcomed back on stage, William realized that the time had come for him to stand in front of 2000 people to present the award. What the hell was he going to do now? He hadn't researched any of the nominees and didn't have a clue what to say. He was resigned to thinking that nothing good could come of this, and that he was about to make a complete fool of himself. He'd well and truly blown it, his career and reputation were surely on the line.
Eric paused, looked up from behind the lectern, and in a clear and authoritative voice made his announcement: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time for the Rising Star Award, and to make the presentation would you please give a warm welcome to our Operations Director, William Cleverley!’
Applause filled the room as William rose from his seat. It was only a short distance to the stage, but he was amazed at the stream of destructive thoughts racing through his mind as he walked up the steps towards Eric. How on earth was he going to pull this off and salvage his dignity? Riding the feeling of anxiety in his chest, he took another deep breath to ease the palpitations. If only he could wake up and discover this was just a bad dream.
William shook Eric's hand and turned to face the expectant audience, but before he had a chance to lean forward towards the microphone, Eric squeezed in front of him and began speaking again. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, to me William is a role model employee and I had no hesitation in giving him the honour of presenting this award. As a former winner in this category you can be sure he knows exactly what it takes to succeed at Gant Foster. Please give him another big round of applause!’ William cringed. Eric's spontaneous address had put him so high on the company pedestal that he could surely only plummet from here. If he'd only known before why Eric had chosen him for this honour he'd have realized those reasons alone gave him the recognition he desired. He hardly needed to make some lofty speech to big himself up, Eric had more than adequately fluffed his peacock feathers, and ironically – for once he wished he hadn't.
A nervous smile flickered across William's face as he loosened his collar and reached for the gold envelope. The bright spotlights picked out the redness in his cheeks as he self-consciously wiped his clammy palms down the sides of each trouser leg.
‘Good evening, it's a wonderful privilege to be here,’ spluttered William, unconvincingly. He forced a smile, wishing he were invisible. His mind had frozen. Totally blank, he stared out at the expectant sea of faces as a flash of panic surged in his chest. Deliberately fixing his stare above the audience's heads, he waited for the words to come…but nothing came. He could feel his body starting to tremble. And then he spoke, just blurting out whatever words came and hoping for the best. ‘I know how hard you … that is the shortlisted finalists, err … must have worked to, err, get this far.’ William's mind seized up again.
‘Err, I'm certain there are some outstanding candidates,’ he blustered. All the names on the nomination list completely escaped him. He was totally lost for words. The audience fixed their gaze on him and at that precise moment William felt like he was lined up to face a 2000-strong firing squad. Eric could barely watch as William went from bad to worse.
How much more embarrassing could this get, wondered Eric? Why hasn't he rehearsed? Heck, how would it reflect on him now after his big introduction? ‘Just open the envelope,’ he snapped brusquely.
William nodded, quickly tearing at the thin paper to unveil the card within. ‘Please put your hands together for an excellent guy, Jason Goodman,’ he announced the winner, failing to hide the tremble in his voice. It was clear he'd blatantly overlooked what Jason had actually done to merit the award.
William stood dumbfounded on the front of the stage, frantically searching for the right words to say next. But his mind had deserted him, crashed. Nowhere to go. ‘F****ck!’ his whole being cried inside. And he just stood there, grinning inanely at the audience for what felt like an inordinately long time. He felt a rush of dizziness, his eyes glazed over and the whole room became a complete blur.
Eric assumed control and beckoned Jason over to give his acceptance speech. He was eager to make it as seamless as possible and save William any further embarrassment … he was, after all, a key member of his team. And he could always find out why things had gone so wrong later. William hurried off to the wings where his good friend Steve was waiting, his face wrought with concern.
‘What happened William?’ he asked, trying not to sound too overtly concerned. ‘That's not like you. Is
