street, that this event was something besides a simple fire.
“When the explosion occurred, a tremendous amount of paper began raining down on us. People panicked and rushed up Day Street. In their haste to get as far away as possible, I almost got run over. I wasn’t consciously releasing at the time. I felt curious instead of panicked. I tried to call out on my cell phone, because I wanted to tell my girlfriend what I was witnessing, but it wasn’t working down there since the transmitters had actually been on top of the towers. After a couple more minutes, there was also the cacophony of fire engines and police sirens coming towards us. Paper was still falling, not dust yet. It was surreal. I remember that one paper dropped right at my foot, and I noticed it had the name of a German bank on it. It struck a chord in me, as I’m German.
“The next dramatic thing, which has been haunting me, is that people began jumping from the top floors of the North Tower. It happened to be a beautiful, clear morning, so it looked almost unreal to me. It was a Panavision perfect picture, and I felt like I was watching a movie. Perfect colors and wide-open shots. One image in particular stuck in my mind: a businessman jumping out, holding on to his briefcase. Such a clear day, legs up in the air, hands down, and the tie up in the air and waving as he was flying down. Because the towers were high, it took quite a while for him to come down. Gratefully, I didn’t see the impacts of the bodies because other buildings obscured them.
“That’s when I knew that something extremely serious was going on. People were crying in the streets, and whenever someone jumped, everyone went Haaaaaaaah, sucking in their breath. I felt compelled to watch, even though it was horrific. But I told myself, ‘You have GOT to get out of here—NOW! There’s a possibility that something else might happen. We don’t know what caused the impact. There might be more bombs. LEAVE THE AREA AND GO HOME!’ So I worked myself against the flow of the crowd to get to the subway station at Brooklyn Bridge a few blocks north of where I’d been. To get there, I passed by a park near the mayor’s office. There were crowds of people outside in the park, throngs watching the drama unfold. Once or twice I almost turned back and looked over my shoulder. But I had made up my mind to go. Luckily the subway was still running then, but I was almost the only person on it and it soon stopped.
“I got home and immediately called my girlfriend on the landline. She explained what I had seen. I shared my feelings with her and the impact it had on me. Then I went into shock. I couldn’t turn on the TV right away because it was stored in a closet. So I got it out and turned it on. The reception was terrible because the antennas had been blown away. There was a powerful sense that the attack wasn’t true somehow, tremendous disbelief even though I’d been a witness. I urgently needed to see the drama unfolding.”
As Kenneth was recounting the story, I walked him through a release on pieces of the experience: the sounds, sights, feelings, thoughts, and sensations. He released some fear and anxiety. But Kenneth had a lot of resistance, and often he answered “no” when I asked him, “Could you let this go?” I knew that everyone in the group would benefit from his releasing process, since we had all been deeply affected by the scale of the tragedy. It wasn’t until he was able to recognize how he was subtly proud of having been in such a unique situation, and developing such a great story about it, that he was able to let go completely. Once he did see the pride and released it, the anxiety that he’d been experiencing vanished and did not reoccur.
As Kenneth says, “Pride is a powerful emotion, but I was finally able to let go. Persistence paid off. In the end, I was oblivious of the group. It was me dealing with this particular event. It wasn’t about pleasing Hale, or about seeking anyone’s approval, not even my own. After the release I felt good. September 11th was still very much on people’s minds and there was constant talk about it, but I never brought it up again the whole time I was in Sedona. Even better, I was actually sick of it.”
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Many people stumble into common pitfalls when they embark on the path of personal development, no matter what road they take. Here are some tips on avoiding them.
• “I suffer, therefore I am.” Strange as it may seem, this statement reflects the way that most of us live our lives. We identify with our problems, believing that we are the one having them. It is almost as though we feel that we justify our existence by having obstacles to overcome, problems to fix, and how much suffering we can bear. We also identify with our self-created suffering. We become so versed in being the person with a particular problem that we’re often afraid we won’t know who we are without it. When we take a moment to reflect on “our” problems, we may even discover that we’ve grown so attached to these patterns of thought and behavior that it’s hard to imagine ourselves without them. Rather than being open to the uncertainty that comes from letting go, we are clinging to the artificial sense of security that comes from knowing what to expect, even if that expectation is not beneficial.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Think of a problem that you believe belongs to you, and ask yourself: “Would I rather have the false sense of security that comes from knowing all about this problem, or would I rather be free?” If you’d rather be free, you’ll spontaneously let go of your attachment to the problem, and you’ll begin discovering natural solutions to it, as opposed to justifying having, or being stuck with, the problem.
• “But what will I talk about?” Most of us base a significant amount of our interpersonal communications on seeking sympathy for our problems or commiserating with others about theirs. Often we become such experts at describing our problems to others that we do not want to give up our expertise. It is not that sharing our problems is detrimental. In fact, the freedom to share what’s bothering you with others is often the first step in letting go and moving on. Also, being able to be there for our friends and partners when they are in emotional need is a sign of being a good friend. Where we get stuck is in continually sharing the same problem repeatedly, with no relief.
If you find yourself telling the same story more than once, check to see if you are seeking agreement or approval for the problem. If you are, ask yourself:
— Could I let go of wanting others to agree with me about my having this problem?
— Could I let go of wanting approval for this problem?
• “It’s mine, that’s why.” Pride is a shifty emotion. For we don’t only feel proud of our accomplishments, we also get really hooked into being subtly proud of our problems. We feel so special for having them. This pitfall on the path to freedom may take the form of feeling proud of having prevailed even with the problem, proud of having borne it for so long, or proud of having a problem that is unique to us alone.
Keep an eye open for pride. Look at your problems as you release on them, and check to see if you feel that they make you “special.” If you find any pride and you can honestly admit it and let it go, then you’ll find yourself free to let go of the problem, too.
• It is not wise to ask, “Why?” Wanting to understand or figure out why, or from where, problems arise can also be a major obstacle to letting them go. For we have to hold on to our problems in order to figure them out. Interestingly, if there is something that’s important for you to understand, letting go of wanting to understand often brings the understanding that you’ve been seeking with a lot less effort. Ask yourself a question: Would I rather understand my problems or just be free of them? If you would rather be free, I highly recommend letting go of wanting to figure them out.
“Coming from a background of poverty and excessive physical discipline,
