and Donna had been there to offer any advice she needed about motherhood, but the pair of them refused to come into her flat any more.
‘We want nothing more to do with that no-good bastard, and neither should you,’ they’d told her in no uncertain terms. Sharon, in particular, was furious with Debbie for giving him another chance. ‘You gotta be fucking mad, Debs,’ she’d insisted. ‘A leopard don’t change its spots, mate. He’ll do it again, you mark my words.’
Debbie had shrugged her shoulders, knowing that there was every chance her friend was right. There was no way she could explain why she’d taken him back, she couldn’t betray Billy’s confidence, so she’d just kept quiet and let her best friend think she’d taken leave of her senses.
Taking a deep breath, Debbie took the bit of paper Mickey had given her out of her purse and dialled her brother’s number. He already knew that she’d given birth to Charlie because she’d called him from Sharon’s phone a few days earlier, and given him a load of cock and bull about a premature labour.
‘I reckon they got the dates wrong, Mick,’ she’d lied.
Mickey had wanted to rush straight over to meet his little nephew, but Debbie had put him off. She’d told him that she felt like shit and needed to rest up for a few days before she had any visitors. ‘As soon as I feel well enough, you can be my first visitor,’ she’d promised.
Now, as the phone was answered, Debbie did her best to sound happy and jovial. ‘I feel much more like meself now, Mick, and little Charlie can’t wait to meet his uncle. When do you wanna come round?’
‘Tomorrow lunchtime okay, sis? I’ve got little Charlie loads of presents, and I’ve got a surprise for you as well.’
‘Great,’ Debbie said unenthusiastically. ‘See you tomorrow then, Mick. Come after one.’
She replaced the receiver, put her head in her hands and cried. She really didn’t feel like playing happy families, but knew she couldn’t avoid it.
The last couple of weeks had been hard for her, bloody hard, and since she’d come out of hospital she’d had very little sleep. It wasn’t Billy, he’d been fine. It was Charlie who was causing her untold worry. The kid just didn’t stop crying, and since she’d brought him home he’d got worse and worse.
She would feed him, rock him, cuddle him, but nothing seemed to work. Now she was at the end of her tether. He’d been fully checked over at the hospital and a health visitor had popped in to see him at home, assuring her that the baby was just fine and things would become easier in time.
Debbie flopped down on the bed, feeling thoroughly exhausted. Billy had gone back to work today and she felt a failure trying at coping alone. The baby seemed to respond better to his father than to her. If Billy picked Charlie up, his tears subsided. When she tried, they worsened. The child hated her, she could sense it. Either that or she was being paranoid and imagining things. Perhaps she had that post-natal depression.
After another night with virtually no sleep, Debbie’s mood was no better the following day. Her brother was due in a few hours and she was absolutely dreading it. She still hadn’t forgiven him for the day he’d had a beer with Billy and earned her a bloody good hiding.
Debbie wasn’t in the mood to do anything, but forced herself to have a bath. The sight of herself in the cracked mirror did nothing to lighten her mood. She looked dreadful, and even though most of the baby weight had disappeared, still had rolls of fat around her middle, which looked disgusting.
She tried on her old Levi jeans, but they wouldn’t do up so she chucked on a pair of old black trackie bottoms and a baggy black T-shirt. Feeling frumpy and ugly, she applied some lipstick and eye shadow. The end result was awful. She felt even more hideous. As she was about to get changed once again, Charlie began screaming his head off. Time for his bottle. Feeling physically drained, she shuffled into the kitchen.
Debbie was just about to feed her son when the buzzer went. Unfortunately for her, Mickey had arrived half an hour early. She felt like tearing her hair out as she laid Charlie back in his cot and answered the door. As if things couldn’t get any worse, to her horror, not only was her brother standing there, but her mother was as well.
‘I told you I had a surprise for you,’ Mickey announced, not noticing her anguished expression. Laden with bags of presents for the baby, he dumped them all in the hallway and walked back towards the door. ‘I’ve gotta go down to the car, sis, to get his big present out. Have a chat with Mum for a minute, eh?’
Completely taken by surprise, Debbie went on to autopilot and offered her mother a cup of tea. Picking up screaming Charlie, she took him into the living room and thrust him towards his nan.
‘Meet your grandson, his name’s Charlie. Oh, and by the way, I must be a shit mother as he doesn’t stop fucking crying!’
Debbie stomped out into the kitchen and waited for the kettle to boil. She was gonna have her Mickey for this. Fucking cheek, bringing Mum round here without her say-so!
June Dawson sat down on the battered old sofa and tried to soothe the distressed child. As she studied him, she felt there was something unusual about him. She had expected to melt at the sight of her first born grandchild, but instead felt no maternal stirring whatsoever. Maybe it’s because its Billy’s child, she thought, noticing that the poor little mite had inherited his father’s rat-like features.
Looking around the living room, though, June understood the child’s misery. ‘Shit-hole’ did not even begin to describe this place. The furniture was threadbare, the curtains ill-fitting, and it didn’t look as if any housework had been done for weeks.
June smiled as her daughter brought in the tea. ‘He’s gorgeous, Debbie,’ she lied as she offered the child back to her. ‘So, apart from him crying, are you coping okay, love?’
Debbie took Charlie from her mother and looked defiantly into her eyes. ‘What are you really doing here, Mum? I thought you wanted nothing to do with us. Why the change of heart?’
June took a sip of her drink before answering. ‘Mickey asked me to come. I’ve been so worried about you and was desperate to make sure you were okay. You are my only daughter, Debs, and believe it or not, I love you very much.’
Debbie went straight on the defensive. ‘Don’t give me that old bollocks,’ she said, as she gently laid her son over her shoulder to rub his back. ‘I bet you love me so much, you haven’t even told Peter you’re coming to fucking see me.’
Unable to meet her daughter’s stare, June was saved from answering by Mickey returning with the most expensive buggy he’d been able to find.
‘What do you think, sis?’ he asked casually.
‘Thanks, Mick, it’s a beauty.’
He smiled. ‘Give us the little bruiser ’ere, I’m dying to meet him.’
As Mickey took Charlie into his arms he felt himself shudder. The situation reminded him of the episode of Only Fools and Horses when Rodney had first looked at Del boy’s kid. Difference was, the guy who played Rodney had been fucking acting! ‘He’s a belter, Debs,’ lied Mickey. Desperate to get rid of the child, he handed him over to June. ‘Go see Nana,’ he said in a silly voice.
As Debbie watched her son bond with his family, she felt her mood lighten. Both granny and
