prospects.’
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said in my head.
‘I’ll be working with a talented team.’
Will be working with? I spun round on my seat.
‘The only thing is…’
Ah, here we go.
‘It’s in New York.’
Suddenly, the spoon slipped from my grasp and spiralled through the air, before ricocheting between the marble fireplace and the mahogany table leg. I reached down to pick it up. By the time my head popped back up, the conversation was continuing without me.
‘Well, I think you should go,’ Mike said. ‘There’s no point being childless in Clapham. It’s like being poor in Paris, get out of here, mate.’
Victoria agreed. ‘Yes, yes, and that ramshackle house of yours. I mean, let’s face it, a renovation can only do so much.’
‘Er, excuse me?’ I raised my hand, partly because I felt like an invisible child with no right to a vote, but mostly because I wasn’t quite sure what else to do. ‘Am I allowed an opinion?’
Nick looked at me from across the table. He seemed so far away. ‘Of course, sweetheart,’ he said, in his high-pitched let’s-placate-Ellie voice.
I wasn’t falling for it. I folded my arms. ‘I don’t want to go.’
Everyone turned to me. Rupert’s yelps had escalated and I could hear Olga in the background trying to soothe him.
‘You aren’t even going to consider it?’ Nick said.
I shook my head. ‘Nope. I love it here. I love our house. I love the parks. I love the people.’
Nick huffed. ‘What do we need four bedrooms for? What are we going to fill them with? Pot plants?’ He stared at me. ‘The parks are full of scooting kids and dog turds. The people…’ he glanced sideways at Victoria and then Mike ‘…well, they’re a bit, you know, self-important, aren’t they?’
‘And they’re so down to earth in Manhattan, aren’t they?’ I sneered at him.
Olga came back in the room with Rupert wrapped up in a blanket. ‘He crying so much, he been sick,’ she said, about to hand him to Victoria.
Victoria waved them away. ‘Not near me. I’m wearing cashmere.’
I opened my arms and gestured for Olga to bring him to me. He scrambled out of the towel and onto my lap.
I looked down at him and the moment his bright blue eyes met mine, the pining stopped. I stroked his tiny head.
Nick coughed. Then I looked up to see Victoria staring at me, her expression had softened. She didn’t need Botox, she just needed to lighten up.
Olga cleared the plates and Nick shuffled up next to me to stroke Rupert. Rupert wriggled out of my grasp and clambered onto Nick’s lap. Nick ruffled Rupert’s fur and smiled.
Victoria let out a sharp sigh. ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ she said.
I looked up. ‘What?’
‘Just take him, will you,’ she said, her tone implying I might be more of a moron than she’d initially anticipated. ‘The dog. Rupert. Have him.’
I frowned. ‘Seriously?’
She glanced at Mike for confirmation. He shrugged his shoulders.
Victoria smiled and then turned to Nick.
‘Well,’ she said, smiled broadening. ‘There’s no way Ellie can go to New York now.’
‘Congratulations,’ Matthew said, after I’d called him the following morning to share my news. ‘You’ve just done what every other infertile couple does.’ He paused to laugh. ‘Seriously, the clinics should affiliate with an animal rescue centre. “Sorry, your embryos were useless but we have an adorable whippet called Wilbur who needs a home. He’s very loving, great with kids. Not that that matters.”’
I ignored him and continued. ‘And Nick wants us to move to Manhattan.’
‘Whoa, what’s going on? First a dog and now emigration? Does he have a green card?’
‘Nick?’ I asked.
‘No, Rupert,’ he replied. ‘Those Yanks are ruthless with their border control.’
‘He’s not a Border, he’s a Sporting Lucas.’
He laughed some more. ‘You’re not allowed to go. Who else will entertain me with their ridiculous life?’
‘I’m not going,’ I said.
There was a pause on the end of the line. Initially, I thought this was because Matthew was taking time to consider the implications on my future happiness, however, the loud slurping noise revealed that, instead, he was just taking a moment to sip his coffee.
I sighed. ‘Does anyone actually care?’ Out of nowhere, Rupert jumped on my lap and gazed up at me.
Matthew sniggered down the line. ‘Of course I care,’ he said. ‘I just care more after coffee.’
‘So I was saying…’
‘Yes, you’re off to Yank land.’
‘No, I’m not. I’m not going.’
‘Why not?’
‘I hate America.’
‘You haven’t even been.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Of course I have. The agency has an office in New York.’
He laughed. ‘Yes, which you’ve visited once in three years, for, oh, what was it, all of six hours?’
‘I’ve been twice actually. And I went to Disney World when I was twelve.’
‘Aha,’ Matthew said, in the manner of a psychotherapist who had just pinpointed the cause of a patient’s neurosis. ‘Florida in the eighties doesn’t count. They were going through a difficult time: all visors and fanny packs.’
I chuckled. ‘And there’s no way I could join a nation who voted for a president who said: “most of our imports are foreign”.’
Matthew sighed. ‘They didn’t vote him in. He voted himself in. And, besides, they have a new president now, only since 2008.’
‘Yeah, one who sided with Argentina over the Falklands.’
‘Ellie, you can’t discount an entire nation based on political knowledge gleaned from a ten-year-old Michael
