The Playful Parent: 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives. Julia Deering

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still find it pretty captivating to watch my own children. Look at that tiny infant kicking her legs or watching the light bounce off the reflection in a window – she’s playing. Look at that baby sitting up and crinkling some noisy fabric – he’s playing. Look at that toddler digging a hole with a stick – she’s playing. Look at those preschoolers with pillowcases round their shoulders, picking up leaves and taking them to a tree stump – they’re playing. Look at that little girl tapping her water bottle along the park railings – she’s playing. As I might watch a talented artist sculpting or a chef cooking, I’m often in bewildered awe at the sight of babies, toddlers and preschoolers playing. For me, their ingenuity, creativity, imagination and their ability to be fully immersed in their game is a wonder to behold.

      What do they play?

      What babies, toddlers and preschoolers actually play can be grouped into categories, which can help us begin to recognise play when we observe it, giving us a little window into their special, wonderful world. Children often exhibit more than one category of play at a time, and there are acknowledged to be around sixteen types, so it can get a little confusing, but to help you identify what your little one might actually be doing when they’re, say, ripping up your newspaper or making those two pebbles talk to one another, here’s a summary of some of the different categories of play in which your little one might be immersed.

      Imaginative/fantasy play

      In these games a large cardboard box will become a car, a tea towel a superhero cape, or the sofa a volcano with the carpet as the lava, or you might be made cup after cup of ‘tea’, or a toy hammer and screwdriver will be tucked into the top of shorts, a hard hat popped onto a head and your kitchen will be measured-up and ‘mended’. This category of play begins as imitation of what the grown ups do in a kind of role-play, but later it can take on a more filmic, adventurous quality. It’s immersive and full of improvisation, and children are experts at this kind of play from as early as two years old.

      Small world play

      This is similar to the imaginative/fantasy play described above, but in small world play the child is the ‘puppet master’ – controlling the world and the action. Using play figures or toy cars, or even sticks and stones as characters, a child will act out their story or sequence of activities. Sets and scenes for the characters are useful (like dolls’ houses, garages, farm sets, etc, and can even be made by older children) but they are not essential – a child’s imagination is often enough.

      Object play

      This type of activity refers to the playful use of objects. These can be dolls, blocks, toy cars and puzzles as well as non-toys such as plastic bowls and empty cardboard tubes, wooden spoons and a silky scarf, or loose parts such as pine cones and giant buttons, as well as natural objects such as shells, leaves and pebbles or a few root vegetables. These objects are played with and explored, manipulated and lined up. Sometimes children over three years old will use objects imaginatively, as substitutes for something else – so a rectangular block might become a telephone, while a cardboard tube becomes a tunnel for a small car.

      Books and stories

      This is a well-loved form of play for babies, toddlers and young children who adore being told stories from books or in a grown up’s own words, and this magical, special category of play is very important in developing listening, language and pre-literacy skills. Young children in particular find picture books irresistible, and they can very quickly learn the techniques of page turning and ‘reading’ the story (often out loud) to themselves.

      Creative play

      This is when children respond creatively, using a wide range of media, to different stimuli in order to make something: mark-making, music-making, art-making, sculpting, construction and model-making. Activities involve painting, sticking, cutting, tearing, rolling, printing, scraping, colouring, spraying, flicking, squeezing and moulding. Dancing and dramatic play are also examples of creative play.

      Sensory play

      This is a very important category of play for babies and toddlers as they do most of their learning about the world around them via their sense of touch and taste (that’s why they go through that phase of ‘mouthing’ everything). Sensory play is about using all of the senses, so listening to music, and tapping and hitting things to create sound is included in this category. Sensory play is also playing with play dough, water, paper, plastic balls, leaves, mud, corrugated cardboard, wooden shapes, fabrics and shaving foam. It’s looking into mirrors, through coloured cellophane, at pictures, faces, the sky and watching the washing machine spin. Many examples of sensory play are multi-sensory.

      Outdoor play

      Considered by many to benefit the health and development of little ones more than any other form of play, outdoor play is not all about rough and tumble, running wild and getting up close to nature, although developing gross motor skills and experiencing flora and fauna first-hand is an important part of it. Most categories of play can be transferred to an outside arena and are more fulfilling and memorable for it.

      How do they play?

      How little ones play, and with whom, will change as their social and emotional skills develop. Babies and toddlers will mainly play alone, but sometimes they will do so in parallel with other children – they will play near to one another in a similar way but do not engage in play together. When they’re a little older children enjoy social play – making up all kinds of collaborative games with other children. Babies, toddlers and preschoolers will enjoy playing with us grown ups too, of course; from the earliest games of Peekaboo, to sharing a ‘cup of tea’, to having a kick-about in the garden as they really find their feet and get moving. Young children love it if they can get an adult to join in the fun.

      Why should we let the children play?

      The crucial beginnings of the brain’s building process occur between 0 and 3 years of age when there is a rapid production of connections between brain cells (synapses). By the time a child is three years old around 80 per cent of this development has already taken place; 90 per cent by the time they are five. Since play offers huge amounts of brain stimulation, it makes sense that it has a massive impact on the emerging cognitive, motor and social skills of young children. It’s through a kind of prism of play that children, using their natural creativity and amazing imaginations, make important cerebral connections and basically learn everything; developing personal, social and emotional skills, communication, language and emerging literacy, problem-solving, reasoning and emerging numeracy, knowledge and understanding of the world and all their physical skills – a whole spectrum of thinking and knowing and learning. And to think they’re just playing!

      Before we begin . . .

      It’s at about the time when a baby reaches toddlerhood that our homes might begin to fill up with numerous flashing, noisy, plastic, branded gadgets and toys. This is far from necessary, and actually can be a bit of a barrier to accessing the 7 Ways to Play. Rather than buying toys that do more and more of the thinking for them, now’s the time to seek out those toys that really stimulate your children’s brilliant imaginations and which will promote open-ended play. If this means having a toy audit and giving away, or at least putting into storage, a lot of their stuff – now’s the time to do it. Honestly, those flashy plastic things won’t be missed a jot. The 7 Ways to Play method will result in you actually needing fewer, not more, toys for your toddler and preschooler, which they will play with more and for longer periods of time.

      Preparing for play

      The

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