she thought. Or maybe children sense when there’s something wrong at the heart of their families.
Dwelling on Jamie’s plight usually made Alex too upset to function, so she switched on the TV to make the room seem less empty. She turned on the water as hot as she could stand it, then soaked a washcloth, lay on the bed, and began to scrub her face. The heat spread through her scalp and neck, sending blessed relief down the length of her body. As some of the day’s stress faded, her mind returned to Chris Shepard. The meeting had gone a lot better than it might have. Of course, for all she knew, Dr. Shepard had already called the Jackson field office and reported her visit.
How many people could react with equanimity to the kind of accusation she had made today? Reduced to its essentials, her message was I think your wife is planning to kill you. If Shepard had reported her, she would soon be getting a call from Washington. Like any successful field agent, Alex had made enemies as well as friends in the Bureau. But unlike most of those agents, she had both in high places. One of those enemies had almost gotten her fired after James Broadbent’s death, but he’d been forced to settle for her banishment to Charlotte. If he suspected dereliction of duty there, the mildest response she could expect would be immediate recall to headquarters for an “interview” with the Office of Professional Responsibility, the Bureau’s equivalent of Internal Affairs. Even a cursory investigation in Charlotte would prove their case, and then … a squalid end to her once-stellar career.
But Alex had a good feeling about Chris Shepard. He was quick on the uptake, and she liked that. He was a good listener—which was rare in men and seemed even rarer in male physicians, at least in Alex’s experience. Shepard had married a witch—and a blond one at that—but then a lot of decent guys did that. He’d waited until he was thirty-five to get remarried, which made Alex wonder about his first wife. Shepard had married his college sweetheart during his first year of medical school, but two years after graduation—just as he was finishing up a commitment to practice in the dirt-poor Mississippi Delta to pay off his school loans—there had been a quick divorce. No kids, no muss, no fuss: nothing but “irreconcilable differences” in the court records. But there had to be more to it than that. Otherwise, how had a single doctor who wasn’t hard to look at evaded marriage for almost five years after his divorce?
That first wife did a number on him, Alex thought. He was damaged goods for a while. That’s why he went for Thora, the ice queen. There’s a lot of damage in that girl, too, and I don’t think Dr. Chris knows much about it …
Alex reluctantly turned her mind to more mundane matters, like finances. A kindly accountant might tell her that the outlook was discouraging, but her own view was more succinct: she was broke. It cost real money to run a murder investigation, even when you were doing a lot of the legwork yourself. She was paying two private detective agencies regularly, and various others for small contract jobs. Most of the work was being done by her father’s old agency, but even with Will Kilmer giving her all the breaks he could, the fees were eating her alive. Surveillance was the main drain. “Uncle” Will couldn’t send out operatives on goodwill alone. Time spent working Alex’s case was time stolen from others—man-hours piling upon man-hours, each day’s accumulation taking a hefty bite out of her hemorrhaging retirement fund. On top of that, she was paying for gasoline, airfare between Jackson and Charlotte, private nurses for her mother … there was no end to it.
The Charlotte apartment was her most urgent problem. For the last three years, she’d leased a condo in Washington, D.C. If she had bought it instead, she could have sold it tomorrow for double her money. But that was a pipe dream. A prudent agent would have dumped the condo after getting transfer orders, but Alex had kept it, knowing that her superiors would learn that she had and would see this as a tangible symbol of her belief in her eventual redemption. But now on top of the condo she had a six-month lease on a place in Charlotte, an apartment she’d slept in fewer than a dozen nights. She’d paid her second month’s rent to maintain the fiction that she was diligently working at her punishment duty, but she simply couldn’t afford to continue. Yet if she broke the lease, her superiors would eventually find out. She thought of possible explanations, but none that would mollify the Office of Professional Responsibility.
“Shit,” she muttered, tossing the cold washcloth onto the other bed.
Meggie leaped into the air, startled by the wet rag. Alex hadn’t seen her curl up on the bed, and now she had an indignant cat on her hands. “I’d be pissed, too,” she said, getting up and going to her computer.
She logged on to MSN and checked her Contacts list to see whether Jamie was online, but the icon beside his screen name—Ironman QB—was red, not green. This didn’t worry her. Their nightly webcam ritual normally occurred later, after Bill had gone to bed. Though only ten years old, Jamie was quite talented with computers. And since one of the few things Bill was generous with was allowance—guilt money, she knew—Jamie had been able to purchase a webcam that allowed him to open a video link with Alex anytime that both of them were logged on to MSN. Secret communication with a ten-year-old boy might fall on the questionable side of the ethical spectrum, but Alex figured it paled in comparison to premeditated murder. And since Grace had charged her with protecting Jamie, Alex felt justified in maintaining contact any way she could.
Leaving her MSN screen name active, she got up from the desk, took her cell phone from her purse, and dialed her mother’s house. A nurse answered.
“It’s Alex. Is she awake?”
“No, she’s sleeping. She’s on the morphine pump again.”
Oh, God. “How’s she doing apart from the pain?”
“No change, really. Not physically. Emotionally …” The nurse trailed off.
“What is it?”
“She seems down.”
Of course she is. She’s dying. And she’s doing it alone. “Tell her I’ll call back later,” Alex whispered.
“She’s been saying you might be coming back to Mississippi soon.”
I’m already in Mississippi. Alex shut her eyes against the guilt of the necessary lie. “I may be, but I’m stuck in Charlotte for now. Are the doctors checking on her regularly?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Please call me if there’s any change.”
“I’ll make sure someone does.”
“Thank you. Good-bye.”
Alex shoved her Glock into her waistband at the small of her back, flipped her shirttail over its butt, then picked up Meggie and walked outside to the parking lot. Room 125 faced the pool, which was empty at this hour. She felt like swimming some laps, but she hadn’t packed a bathing suit, nor had she thought to buy one when she was at Wal-Mart. The lobby building of the Days Inn was styled after an antebellum mansion, in imitation of Natchez’s primary tourist attractions. Beyond the lobby and a one-story line of rooms, an ancient tennis court lay beneath a rectangle of oak trees. Alex scratched Meggie’s ears and walked toward it.
She had planned to register at the Eola Hotel downtown, which she remembered from a childhood visit to Natchez, but she’d found she couldn’t hack the rate. The Days Inn was fifty-nine bucks a night, Meggie’s fee included. Its parking lot led right onto Highway 61. Turn left and you were headed to New Orleans; turn right, Chicago. I’m losing it, Alex thought. Get a grip.
She stepped onto the cracked green surface of the tennis court and sniffed the air. She smelled
