to Rome as well and if there was anyone in the world who I would do anything for, it was my brother. Rome never asked me for anything and had given me his support and his approval endlessly, even when it put him at odds with the rest of the family, and I owed him at least the opportunity to try to mend what was fractured. We drove the rest of the way to their house in silence but I could see Rome giving me surreptitious looks out of the corner of his eye the entire way. I think he was waiting for me to drive past the exit or freak out and change my mind, but I kept telling myself that I didn’t need my parents to look at me the same way they looked at him to go home and be okay. Before, that tore me apart and made me act like a troubled adolescent with a chip on his shoulder, but now I knew I was going home to a kick-ass job, a rock-star brother, a smoking-hot girl who happened to be totally into me—issues and all—and to a solid group of friends who were willing to put up with me and have my back no matter what. And while the hole that Remy’s death left would never really be filled, I was living a good life and they should be proud of me. If they weren’t, they could just piss off.
Both my folks’ cars were in the driveway when we pulled onto their street. I hissed a breath out between my teeth and tried not to flinch when Rome clapped me on the shoulder and gave me a little shove. “Come on, we’ll be quick.”
I jumped out of the truck and my boots sent little tufts of snow scattering. I could see my breath in the air, indicating the weather was going to get worse before we headed home, which was kind of how I felt about my situation here. I knew Rome had a key, but since I was with him he stopped at the front door and knocked, relegating himself to visitor status just like me. I heard shuffling around and it took a few minutes for my dad to come to the door. He peered out at us in surprise and I had to admit I was secretly pleased that he looked equally surprised to see Rome as he was to see me.
“Boys? What are you doing here?”
He pushed open the screen door and motioned us into the warm house. I was rubbing my hands together to warm them up so he didn’t even try to give me a hug after he embraced Rome, which was fine by me because I wasn’t sure we were at the hugging phase of our relationship anymore.
“Rule had to run an errand before work out this way so I thought we’d stop by and say hi. You guys aren’t busy are you?”
“No, your mom’s in the living room.” His gaze settled on me. “I’m surprised to see you, son.”
I wanted to throw out something flippant but in the vein of trying to make peace I gave a lopsided grin and answered, “Yeah, I bet. Rome thought it would be cool.”
“Rule, this is your home, you are always welcome here.”
I wanted to say I hadn’t felt welcome in well over three years but I just nodded and said, “Thanks for that, Dad.”
“What kind of errand did you have to do an hour away in the snow?”
I rubbed a hand over my head and looked at Rome sideways. “Uh … I actually told Shaw I would come get her car for her. She left it here when she was visiting her folks.”
“Shaw was in Brookside this weekend? You might not want to let your mom know that. She’s having a hard time with the line Shaw drew in the sand. That little gal is just as stubborn as you boys, and I don’t think Margot was prepared for her to stick to her guns the way she has. It’s awful nice of you to help her out, Rome.”
I rolled my eyes at the automatic assumption that Rome was the one she called on even though he had already told him it was my errand. I wasn’t going to say anything, but Rome chuckled and patted my dad on the back.
“Not me, old-timer. Shaw and Rule have called a truce. You should see them; they actually act civil and spend time together like normal people do. He’s the one who told her he would get the car, I just got roped into being the second driver.”
My dad looked over Rome’s broad shoulder at me with shock clear on his face. “Really? You two were always at odds, even when you were young.”
I shrugged. “I’m trying to grow up a little bit. She’s been in my life a long time and I’m trying to put that into a new perspective. We get along fine.” Plus, spending time with her naked as often as possible was my new top priority in life, and doing things that made her happy and kept her safe also had the bonus of making me happy, which was such a new feeling I wasn’t sure what to do with it yet.
“Well, maybe you can tell her how hard it’s been for your mom without her around. Getting her to come by for a visit would be lovely.”
“She has her reasons for staying away, Dad.” My tone sharpened reflexively, but I kept my face smoothed out, trying to belie the tension that was growing as we walked into the living room where my mom was watching TV on the sofa. Her eyes snapped from Rome to me and then back. Even from across the room I could feel the displeasure radiating off her.
“What are you doing here?” She didn’t even look at Rome; her eyes were glued to me, and her anger was like a whip across my skin. I shoved my hands in my pockets and met her gaze with a level one of my own. I wasn’t going to let her get under my skin this time—I owed it to my brother and to my girl.
“Just came by to say hi and see how you’re doing.”
“I don’t want you here.” Rome went stiff beside me and I heard my dad take in a quick breath, but I wasn’t surprised.
“I know, but I thought it wouldn’t kill me to try and fix things.”
“Why bother? You just ruin everything.” Her voice was raspy and I swore I could see the hatred she harbored hanging off each syllable. My dad took a step forward but Rome pulled him back. “Margot, that’s enough. The boy is our son, not a stranger we’re going to just put out on the street because you’re unhappy with him right now.”
“Dad, it’s cool. I know how she feels and she’s never hidden it.”
“What do you expect, Rule? Because of you your brother is in a box in the ground and the girl I think of as a daughter won’t have anything to do with me. You’re a poison to this family.”
Well, that was a little harsher and a little blunter than she normally went for, but it was finally out in the open. I rubbed my fists in my eyes and let out a sigh. My dad and Rome were trying to talk over each other, both trying to get her to retract her awful statements and telling her that none of it was true, but it was to no avail.
“Hey, hey, everybody stop. It’s okay. Come on, Rome, don’t act like you’re shocked. She’s always blamed me because I called him that night for a ride. It’s cool, I get it. In fact, I blamed myself for a long time, too, until I realized it could have been a million other reasons. It was an accident, an accident that took someone we all loved, but still an accident. She could blame the truck driver, she could blame Remy for speeding, she could blame God for the rain or even the doctor in the ER for not being good enough at his job, but no, she blames me and always will, and it’s fine if that’s what she needs to do in order to keep it together. I can shoulder that load.” All three of them were looking at me with wide eyes. It was probably the most I had said to my parents in one sitting in more than five years, and there was no yelling and no temper tantrums.
“Shaw is a smart girl and has strong convictions, so I refuse to let you put your actions and consequences with her on me. She told you straight up what you needed to do in order to maintain your relationship with her and you refused. No one is to blame for that but you.”
“You
