blinked as he turned the lamp on, so the white room was illuminated in a soft golden glow. He backed her up against the bed until her knees hit, and she lay back, just looking at him. He watched her for a moment, bare-chested, a look of wonder on his face. She scanned him again, noticed the tattoos that weren’t there before, the muscles, the scars. She wanted to map out his body and know the story behind every mark. Later. For now, she just wanted him against her, inside her, desperately, in a way she’d never felt before. She had to have him.
Megan pulled his hand, dragging him down so he was on top of her, kissing him again. She could feel him against her, and reached down to undo his belt, the heavy silver buckle deliciously cool against her skin.
He was attached to her neck, biting softly, just enough to make her crazy. It had never been like this before. As she struggled with his belt his fingers grazed her hip, settling just under the waistband of her underwear. A deep intake of breath as his fingers slipped lower, teasing her, making her desperate, moving in a pattern, but never quite getting close enough.
‘Luke…’ she sighed, throwing her head back.
‘Way ahead of you.’ He kissed her cheek before getting up, shrugging out of his jeans and underwear, and going to the dresser for a condom. Megan blushed, because she hadn’t even been thinking about that, she’d been thinking about him hurrying the hell up. She watched with interest as he rolled it down carefully. They’d never really looked at each other before, she realised. Everything was under covers, touches and movements. She felt her heartbeat quicken with the realisation that it was finally happening. She was sitting on the edge of the bed as he came back, grinning the grin of a man who was about to get what he wanted. He leaned down to kiss her, and scooped her up, so she was forced to wrap her legs around his waist for balance. She felt him move against her, rocking back and forth, the thin fabric of her underwear still between them, tantalisingly close but not close enough. She squirmed and Lucas seemed to agree, standing her carefully back on the floor, and kneeling down to kiss her hipbones as he slowly pulled her underwear down. He grinned up at her, those eyes shining, and she pulled him up, pushing him onto the bed and climbing on top of him.
‘Way to take control, Angel,’ he gasped against her mouth as she reached for him, guiding him into her, painfully slowly, savouring the contact. She watched his eyes widen as she moved against him, moving her hips, slowly at first and then quicker as his fingers dug into her thighs. He gripped her harder, keeping her steady as she kept moving, that deep rhythmic pull within pushing her faster and harder against him, until her body stilled suddenly, tensing as he did, collapsing against him.
They lay there in silence for a few moments, breathing heavily, until Megan lifted up her head to look at him.
‘Definitely wasn’t like that before!’ Lucas laughed.
‘I’m starting to see the advantages of being an adult,’ Megan laughed, rolling off him and lying on the bed.
‘When I said I missed you, I don’t think I made it clear how much…’ Lucas grinned, stroking her stomach with a fingertip.
‘I really think you did,’ Megan replied, curling up on him and promptly falling asleep.
August 2003
‘My parents will not give me a break!’ Megan ranted, stalking into Lucas’ room, smelling of booze and cigarettes.
‘Do they know you’re here?’ he said seriously, looking at the clock. It was eleven pm.
‘No, I just…I had to get out.’
Lucas rolled his eyes and went out to the landing, ‘Linda? Can you call Megan’s parents and tell them she’s here? And I’ll drive her back tomorrow?’
He walked back into the room and gave her a look that said “look what a position you’ve put me in”.
‘Why do you always do that? You’re meant to be on my side!’
‘I am. I also like seeing you. And if you keep acting like a kid, they’re not going to let you spend time with me,’ he said sensibly. ‘This way, it looks like I’m very responsible, and Linda knows what’s going on.’
‘She doesn’t!’
‘No, but it’s better that your parents think she does, isn’t it?’
‘Urgh!’ Megan threw herself on the bed. ‘Why are you the sensible one?’
Lucas lay down on the bed next to her, staring at the ceiling. ‘Because I don’t have parents on my case to make the most of my potential. Bless Linda, but she doesn’t think I have any potential. All I’ve got to do is get a job and stay out of prison.’
‘I think you’ve got potential,’ she said, lifting her head up.
‘I know,’ he laughed, ‘but the point is, Angel, your parents are the real deal. They have a good life, and that’s what they want for you.’
She raised an eyebrow, leaning her head on her hand as she lay there looking at him, her bright cherry-dyed hair hanging over her shoulder, and her black eyeliner smudged.
‘Heather and Jonathan have everything. They don’t hate their jobs, they’re married, they have a house, a family they love spending time with. They have hobbies and they’re still in love, all these years later. Nothing can ruin that oasis, can it?’
‘Except if their only daughter doesn’t get into Cambridge or whatever.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Matty never gets any of this.’
‘Matty isn’t as smart as you are,’ Lucas said sensibly. ‘One day you’ll see, when you’re missing one of the pieces of the puzzle, that they had it all.’
‘You were the one who told me to rebel, remember? You said all those years ago that it wasn’t really living!’ she argued.
‘That’s because I was trying to get into your knickers,’ he shrugged.
‘You were not!’
Lucas just raised an eyebrow and grinned at her as he started rolling a cigarette.
‘It wasn’t a life,’ Megan said simply, staring at the ceiling. ‘All I did was try to be what they wanted me to be. I’m still doing it now. Still studying and killing myself to go to a university I’m not even bothered about, just because it’s their dream. My rebellion is just playing in a band and seeing you.’
‘And apparently getting drunk by yourself on a Tuesday night.’
‘It’s the summer!’
‘I know, baby, but…’
Megan’s eyes widened. ‘What
