you know.’ I shrugged. ‘Where’d you think I’d be?’
‘We were just talking about you the other night. Wondering what you’re up to. If you’re in good health.’ Staples smiled long enough for me to admire his latest gold tooth.
‘I thought I could feel my ears burning.’ I was trying to play it cool. I think it was working‚ even though every instinct in me wanted to spin on my heels and get the hell outta there. ‘You know what they say when you talk about someone and then they unexpectedly show up?’
‘Why don’t you go ahead and enlighten me‚ Jay?’
‘It gives the recipient long life‚’ I said‚ wondering if I had used recipient in the right context.
‘Yeah?’ he said. ‘You may well be the exception to that rule‚ Jay.’
Yeah‚ it was a threat and yeah I was shitting myself‚ but I knew he couldn’t do anything. With Silas tucked away in jail‚ Staples knew that the eyes of the law were on the rest of the crew. Besides‚ what the fuck could he possibly do in the middle of Wilko‚ in the middle of the fucking Treaty Centre?
I looked down at Staples’ basket. He had Radox bubble bath‚ candles and shampoo‚ which was odd as his head was as shiny as a snooker ball. He didn’t seem so tough after all‚ with his pampering products. I smiled up at him knowingly‚ refusing to take the bait.
‘Say hi to Silas from me next time you go visit him in jail.’ I couldn’t help myself‚ I had to get a dig in. I placed my basket on the floor and left my place in the queue and walked away‚ pleased with myself for delivering the parting shot.
‘Jay‚’ Staples said‚ and I ignored him‚ kept walking. ‘Jay‚’ a little louder. ‘You haven’t heard?’
That slowed me in my tracks. I wanted to turn around and ask him what he meant but I just knew whatever knowledge he wanted to impart would only play on my mind‚ and that was the very last thing I needed before my trip. I shook my head clear and walked out of the shop.
On my drive home his words kept creeping back‚ I tried to figure out what Staples could possibly have meant. It wasn’t in my nature to sweat the small stuff‚ but where that psychopath Silas is concerned‚ I couldn’t take it lightly.
You haven’t heard?
The day had started off so well. I’d been getting shit done‚ but the run-in with Staples had knocked me sideways. So instead of donning my marigolds and going on a cleaning expedition around the house‚ as planned‚ I spent the afternoon watching crappy daytime TV whilst throwing a few choice expletives at Staples from a safe distance.
Frustrated‚ I decided that I needed to be amongst people. I killed the television and got cleaned up. It was Tuesday. Paki night at Heston Hall.
Like always‚ Khala announced her latest plans in a particular way. Not a request‚ not a question. She was simply telling me that it had to be so. Knowing that nothing could ever come of what she was setting me up for‚ I should have battled it‚ made my excuses. She was wasting her time and mine‚ and she was definitely wasting the time of the family who were looking to make a Relationship‚ a Rishta.
But‚ again like always‚ I couldn’t bring myself to fight it. Reluctantly‚ I agreed and ended the call. A minute later‚ Khala messaged me a photo of the girl that I had to meet tonight. I could see Shaz curiously peering at me from behind his computer.
We were in the office. It had been a quiet morning. Two of my clients had cancelled viewings and Shaz’s next client was due late afternoon. So we had set about carrying out some rare admin. Kumar’s Property Services was a small set up. Two branches‚ one located in Cranford and the other‚ our one‚ in the parade of cheap shops in Hounslow West. The office had two rooms. A separate office for Kumar to lock himself in‚ and the main room which Shaz and I operated from‚ our desks situated opposite each other‚ separated by a seated waiting area against the back wall which the clients never used.
‘What’re you looking at?’ Shaz enquired.
‘Khala just sent me a photo.’ I sighed. ‘I’ve got a Rishta tonight.’
‘Another one?’ He smirked. ‘Just go with it. Shit man‚ you never know. She might be the one.’
‘Come on‚ Shaz.’ I said‚ rubbing my face. ‘I have Steph and Jack.’
‘Ooh‚ Steph and Jack‚’ he imitated. ‘You’re not going to marry Steph‚ mate. You know that‚ right? It’s not even possible. Khala will throw a fucking fit!’
‘I’ll find a way.’
‘Course you will! I can see it now. Khala‚ I’m seeing a white chick called Stephanie. Slap! She’s a divorcee. Slap! Oh‚ and she’s got a kid from a previous marriage.’ Shaz mimicked loading a shotgun. ‘You get the picture: Khala stood over you with a sawn-off; you‚ lying on the floor with a hole in your chest‚ wishing why-oh-why did I not do the simple thing and marry a Muslim girl.’
‘Alright‚ Shaz. You’ve made your point.’ I busied myself with work‚ looking for a way out of the conversation. But Shaz had other ideas.
‘Show me the picture of this girl‚ then‚’ Shaz said.
‘No‚’ I said.
‘C’mon‚ man‚’ Shaz pleaded. ‘Just show it.’
‘There’s no point.’
‘Of course there’s a point.’
‘What? What is the point?’
‘I want to see it!’
‘That’s not a valid point.’
‘It’s what mates do‚’ Shaz said.
‘I swear‚’ I said‚ as I unlocked my phone and located the picture. ‘You’re such a child.’
‘Am not!’
I faced the phone in his direction.
‘Here‚’ I said. ‘Happy?’
‘Hang on‚ let me call NASA‚ see if they can lend me their telescope!’ Shaz said‚ from behind his desk. ‘Fucking hell‚ Imy. Bring it over here.’
‘You want to see it‚ you can come to my desk.’
‘I’m your senior.’
‘Why don’t you start acting like it?’
I had hoped his lazy nature would win out‚ but his perverted nature prevailed. He
