you?’ I was outraged. I was not alone. I heard Natred sit up in his blankets. I suspected that Kort was awake and listening in, also.
‘He said it. That, and a lot of other, uglier things.’
Nate spoke from the darkness in a furious whisper. ‘If you quit, you just prove him right. And if you fail, you prove that they have always been right about New Nobles’ sons: that we are fit only to be common soldiers not officers. Spink, you cannot do either. For the dignity of your father’s name, you have to prove him wrong. Stay on. Pass the damned test. Do whatever you must to pass it. And let Nevare help you clear your name. Have him go to his uncle on your behalf. I have not heard you speak one degrading word about this Epiny. You have not dishonoured her. Fight to clear your own name, and hers. If you cut and run now, everyone will think you did it because you were ashamed.’
Silently I blessed Natred. He had so quickly and clearly seen how best to sway Spink to courage. What he would not do for himself, he would do for his father’s honour and Epiny’s good name. I could almost hear him thinking. He walked to his bed and I heard him undress in the dark. Just as I was giving up on him and sliding off into sleep, Spink spoke again. ‘I’ll try,’ he said. ‘I’ll try.’
There were only three days left until the section test and the culling that would follow. As Gord had predicted, we were not the only first-years to have heard the rumours. Perhaps they had been deliberately sown, perhaps not. All I knew was that the campus was suddenly a far more sombre place. There was no talking or jesting in the meal lines any more, and conversation at table now consisted of discussing our studies and what might or might not be on any of the examinations.
All of us studied harder, but some of us had our own particular demons to wrestle. Rory’s was Varnian grammar. Natred and Kort worked endlessly on drafting. Mine was Captain Infal’s Military History class. He’d spent the last two weeks on sea battles from King Jurew’s War. I failed to see how sea tactics and strategy applied to cavalry officers, and had a hard time keeping the names of the various captains and the military capabilities of their various ships fixed in my head. Now I re-read my notes, desperately trying to memorize every stage of each battle. I was furious with the instructor, certain that I’d never use any of this knowledge that I so painfully pounded into my memory.
And Spink struggled with his maths. It was awful to watch him. There was a safety lamp that was kept burning in the stairwell at all times, even after lights-out. In the ferocity of his drive to find more hours to study, Spink would furtively creep out on the landing with a chair, and stand on top of it to bring his book close enough to the dim lantern to continue studying the equations and how they were manipulated. In the mornings, he rose with bloodshot eyes and a sagging face to begin the day.
Spink’s efforts did not escape notice by Trist. He only spoke of it once to him, and he sounded almost kind when he did. ‘We all see how hard you’re trying, Spink. And we, well, whatever you have to do to get a good score, we’ll know that you’re doing it as much for us as for yourself.’
Spink lifted his head to stare at Trist and said quietly, ‘I don’t cheat. Not for anyone.’ Then he had turned his gaze back to his books. He had not looked up again after that, not even when Trist shoved his chair back from the table and stamped out of the room.
If the culling had been all that we had to worry about, that would have been enough. But for Spink and me there were other concerns. The day after Spink was put on probation, there was no letter from my uncle. I had written to him of Spink’s situation, and posted the letter that same day. The first missed letter worried me, but I persuaded myself that he just needed time to think. The second day with no response conveyed a chill message to me; he blamed me for bringing Spink into his home. What would he write to my father about it? I tried to put a brave face on it for Spink, saying that perhaps his letter to me was delayed, or that he had not yet received mine that explained everything. Spink didn’t believe it any more than I did. It was not reassuring when that evening, just when I most wanted to study for the exams I’d face the next day, I was summoned to the commander’s office.
I hurried across the winter-dimmed campus, dread a cold weight in my belly. It had snowed the night before, but the day had melted the snow to slush. Now it was hardening into uneven ice on the pathways. I slipped several times, trying to hurry. When I finally reached the stone steps of the Administration Building, I forced myself to ascend them carefully. My uncle’s carriage and man awaited outside the building. Anticipation warred with dread as I went up the steps. At least, I would soon know where I stood.
Caulder admitted me and walked me silently to the door of his father’s office. He met my gaze with a smirk that I hated. I did not thank him for opening the door for me. I did notice that when it closed it did not latch behind me. I walked forward, saluted and then waited, ever mindful that Caulder’s ear was most likely pressed to the door crack.
Colonel Stiet sat behind his desk. Uncle Sefert sat in a comfortable chair to one side of it, looking anything but comfortable. Colonel Stiet spoke to me. ‘Your uncle is concerned that you have not written to him lately. Have you anything to say for yourself, Cadet Burvelle?’ Clearly Colonel Stiet regarded this as a trivial and annoying complaint. I could almost hear him thinking of his home and lady waiting for him. I kept my eyes on him as I replied.
‘I have written and posted letters to my uncle daily, sir. I, too, have been concerned that he has not written to me for several days.’
I saw my uncle sit up straighter in his chair, but he did not speak. Colonel Stiet pursed his lips. ‘Well. It seems to me that we then have the answer to our little puzzle. Something has interrupted the post. Letters have gone missing. Certainly this should not cause any of us much distress, however. I do not feel it has been worth this “emergency” meeting tonight at the end of a long and arduous day.’
I could not think of a reply but my uncle answered for us.
‘Ordinarily, it would not,’ my uncle replied. ‘Save that I have had some concerns about young Nevare of late. And thus I made him promise to write to me daily. When he appeared to be ignoring that request, I naturally felt concern.’
‘Naturally,’ Colonel Stiet agreed, but his voice was flat with scepticism. ‘And now that you are reassured that all is well with him, I trust we can put this incident behind us.’
‘Certainly,’ my uncle agreed. ‘So long as Nevare continues to write to me daily. I shall have one of my men deliver my messages and pick up his to me, to be sure that the post does not fail us again. I have promised my brother, Nevare’s father, that I would watch over him as closely as I would my own soldier son. I intend to keep that promise.’
‘As a man of honour, certainly you must.’ The words were correct, but there was still that odd flatness to his voice. The colonel looked at me as if he just realized I was there. ‘Dismissed, Cadet. Lord Burvelle, would you care to join me at my home for a glass of wine before you depart?’
I had already turned to go when my uncle spoke. ‘Actually, Colonel, I fear I should be getting back to the city. Things are a bit unsettled at my home of late. I shall walk Nevare back to his dormitory, I think, before I leave.’
The colonel was silent for a few moments. Then, ‘The walks are icy tonight, Lord Burvelle. I strongly recommend against this.’
‘Thank you for your concern, Colonel Stiet.’
