soothed me, and I didn’t have the strength to unpick at the whys and wherefores in that moment.
‘You were crashing, so I made a call. You didn’t make it, we had to revive you twice. I had no choice, you must know that.’
I felt as though she had slapped me. ‘You took my leg?’ I said gruffly.
I watched tears spring into her eyes, and she swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. A single tear escaped from her eye and ran down her cheek, and she wiped at it quickly, erasing the evidence.
‘Yes, I did.’
I nodded. The drugs started to kick in again, the pain in my body numbing. I didn’t try to fight the sleep that was coming, it felt like sweet oblivion was sweeping in to take me away, and I welcomed it. I whispered something, my voice giving out, and Kate leaned closer, her ear hovering over my mouth. I caught the scent of her perfume in my nostrils, and I felt a twitch in my lower body. I would have laughed at the inappropriateness of it all, but I couldn’t muster the energy.
‘What did you say?’ she asked. She went to fill a cup with water and put the straw near my mouth. I took a sip and felt the coolness of the water drifting down my throat. I tried again to spit out the words that were screaming inside my brain like a pinball in an arcade machine.
‘You should have let me die,’ I breathed, and sleep took me under.
‘What the hell are you playing at, Kate?’ Trevor boomed as she entered his office. ‘The nursing staff tell me you did an unauthorised amputation on Cooper. Last I heard, he was crashing and we had instructions to let him go down. He told us we didn’t have permission to operate, but you did it anyway. Do you know how much trouble you are in?’ Trevor was pacing up and down behind his desk, Cooper’s file bouncing around in his hands as he gesticulated wildly with his arms. ‘Abby says he didn’t change his mind, but he didn’t sign the DNR either. The staff weren’t sure what to do, but you knew! We were both there when he told us his choice. Not only have you probably pissed off a decorated serviceman, but you have jeopardised your own career, and the work that we do here. Do you know what bad press can do for our operations? They could shut us down Kate, and then we can’t help our guys out here.’
Kate was unapologetic. She couldn’t regret her decision. She wouldn’t. He had to live, she couldn’t explain why this man meant so much to her, at this point in time and place. He irritated the hell out of her. He spoke to her like he was living in the fifties in a bad guys and dolls movie. He was stubborn, surly, moody. Yet she couldn’t bear to think of him just slipping away. She knew in her gut that he wasn’t done. Even if no one else could see it, and it cost her career, if she knew he made it, she knew she would never regret her decision. All or nothing.
Cooper hadn’t spoken again, he was still sleeping off the meds. She had stayed at his bedside all night, checking his vitals, and now she had a crick in her neck and a heavy weight deep in the pit of her stomach. She had watched him sleep fitfully, his temperature spiking as his body fought off the remnants of the infection. Around five that morning, he had turned the corner, his vitals stabilising. Taking his leg had saved his life, and Kate was so relieved she could cry. His words however, would haunt her for the rest of her days, and she wasn’t looking forward to facing him once he woke up. She wondered whether he would ever be thankful for what she did, given time and a new life. Hopefully she could help him get to that stage before he went home. Talk him around. Trevor must have read her thoughts, and the look he gave her told her that he was in full on professional mode.
‘You are off the case Kate, I advise you to keep a low profile. He didn’t put his wishes in writing, so when he wakes up, we will just have to see how it plays out. I will try to protect you if I can, but you need to realise just how serious this is, and how stupid you have been.’
Kate shook her head. ‘You told me to save him, I saved him. He can’t expect us to just let him die, I would rather live with one leg than die.’
Trevor stared at her, his anger evident in his expression. ‘Exactly. You would. That would be your choice, too. The fact is Kate, he is a grown man, an army man, he knew what he wanted and you listened and still chose to ignore him. It is exactly that – his life, not yours. What you would do in his shoes is irrelevant, and you know it.’ Trevor winced at his own choice of words, but said nothing. He looked tired, and Kate realised that had they not been such good friends, she would already be relieved of duty and on the next plane home.
She nodded at him, accepting his words and looking down at the floor. She turned to leave when her phone rang. Seeing her husband’s name flash up on her screen, she looked at Trevor. ‘It’s Neil.’
He waved her away. ‘I will speak to you later, but Kate, I’m disappointed. I taught you better than this.’
His words hit her like a bullet to the heart, and she flinched. She didn’t trust herself not to cry, so she kept her mouth shut, hitting the answer button on her phone.
‘What?’ She shouted down the phone. Neil’s voice sprang back just as angry. Great, now she had annoyed him. She had pushed her mood straight down his throat, when they were meant to be figuring things out. She walked towards her bed, wishing that the day was over already.
Abby came into the small office area off the ward, to see Kate surrounded by various charts and files.
‘He got you doing paperwork? I swear, he’s in such a rotten mood today.’ Kate smiled at her friend, standing up from her position sprawled out on the hard canvas covered floor and stretching out her aching limbs.
‘Yep, it’s my punishment, and I am afraid the bad mood is probably down to me too. I’m really sorry that I put you all in that position. It was my choice, you shouldn’t have to suffer.’
‘I get it Kate, you had the ability to save him, and you didn’t want to let him just slip away like that. I get it. Anyway, it’s done with now. He’s alive. Trevor is more pissed at you than us.’ Abby nodded to the countertop, clicking on the kettle. ‘Coffee?’
Kate looked at the desk next to her, where an assortment of dirty cups littered the surfaces. ‘Sure, one more can’t hurt. I won’t sleep anyway. You might need a mug though.’ She got to work, dumping all the crockery into the sink and washing them. She passed two mugs to Abby, who was busy munching away on a cereal bar like a starving squirrel. ‘How is he?’
Abby snorted. ‘I told you, he has a major bee in his bonnet. He’s making anyone who doesn’t look exhausted already clean everything in sight. I thought one of the soldiers was going to punch him earlier. He didn’t—’
‘No,’ Kate said, moving closer. ‘How is he?’
Abby’s eyes sparked with recognition. ‘Ooh, HIM!’ She stage whispered the rest. ‘He’s stable, but still out. He’s hopefully going to be weaned off the meds a bit tonight, we’ll see how he feels then. The operation worked though, signs of sepsis are gone.’
Kate felt her heart beat, as though it had taken a misstep. ‘Drain? Any signs of wound infection, tissue necrosis? Urine output?’
Abby took the barrage of questions in her stride. ‘Drain should be out tomorrow, no infection or necrosis. The site looks good Kate, you did a good job. Urine output
